So... I remember back when Seebs was still on tumblr, she mentioned on one of my posts about executive dysfunction that she thought I had ADD, which I brushed off because I had depression and that seemed like enough, and I just... didn't have the ability to parse depression AND ADHD at the same time in my life, please, wasn't one enough. But I keep stumbling across posts on tumblr talking about ADHD that I really identify with, especially a... variant? that has more inattention than hyperactivity (I need to go reread the posts, I'm probably messing this up), and the feelings of failure and procrastination and difficulty focusing only to zoom/focus like woah at certain situations/interests, etc. And I'm thinking of bringing up with my therapist, because maybe this will help me find ways to focus better/stop procrastinating so much, find strategies that work more. I remember this post that said "sometimes you need things that a non ADHD finds disorganized/ugly to remember", like, leaving things out so you see them and then remember to do something with them. I have to leave my meds outside so I remember to take them, even though it undoes the pretty arrangement of pretty things and decorations on my furniture, and it annoys my parents as messy, but for me it's just... functional. It helps me not forget. And even then I forget. I've always been forgetful. I remember a lot better than I used to, but I forgot assignments, objects, appointments, with an ease... I rely on an agenda and phone reminders and alarms to remember to brush my teeth, go to appointments, do basic things. I always forget what date the day is, it's easy to forget what day of the week it is sometimes (though that might be more my lack of job). And I was very good at school, but had huge problems with procrastinating for a long time. And now I have anxiety and depression... and I keep seeing that those can be comorbid with ADHD. So I'm going to start researching it and see what resources I can find for diagnosing and working with it, so that I can bring it up to my therapist in a well thought out manner instead of going "um" at her. If you guys have resources you'd recommend I check out, I'd appreciate it!
"ADHD inattentive type" is how I've usually heard it described. While it's probably something you'd run into on your own, the Wikipedia page has some good stuff you might find helpful? Particularly about diagnostic criteria. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder_predominantly_inattentive
Thank you! Yeah, inattentive sounds about right. I'll give this another deeper look when I'm done studying
I match like, 4 to 5 of the bullet points mentioned. I dunno if it's enough, but I'll talk with my therapist about it. I don't even know if I want medication (I think my depression meds already are supposed to help some with ADHD? Wellbutrin at least), but if someone goes "hmmm maybe you do have this, let's figure out how to work around it" it would... feel validating.
Therapy today went well! My therapist hadn't heard of inattentive or combined type ADHD, but we went over the list of things mentioned in another place that I showed her as signs for ADHD in adults, and she agreed that it sounded like I have it. We went over whether I should see a specialist and try to get medicated, and while she was giving me space to decide by myself, she seemed to think it was good to pursue it as an avenue, in case it makes it easier to focus when I'm working or studying. I mentioned I'd met a biological researcher who was open about her ADHD so I can ask her what her experience getting a PHD while with ADHD was like, what she recommends, etc., so I'll try to get in touch with her. I'm going to talk with my parents about it, but a preliminary mention to dad had him going "huh maybe specialist time", so I feel like they'll support me if I try to get a diagnosis. I'll be meeting with my therapist again next month, so I have time to think it over (and procrastinate on deciding >:T), and gives me time to focus on studying for the GREs next week, so, looks like I'll be doing more research on it to see what else I can find that sounds appropriate or relevant.
