sorry i don't make the rules: ridiculous/lighthearted headcanons

There are a lot of worlds in which they never meet at all. Or meet once, briefly, and then never see each other again.

But in every world where they meet, and stay in contact, stay aware of each other? Kankri Vantas and Porrim Maryam have each other's backs when shit gets truly serious, and will kill or die to defend each other. Even the worlds where they drive each other completely up the wall.

Kankri, being Seer of Blood, knows this, and approves of it. It's one thing about his other lives that is not in the least pr96lematic.

 

Madeline from Celeste is prone to making heinous food crimes and sometimes even enjoying them. She would put eggnog in mac n cheese just to see what it tasted like (verdict: bad), or make sashimi sandwich, or genuinely enjoy "peanut butter, jelly, and soy sauce" flavour stuff.

Theo is horrified.

 

The amount of sweets that Uallach brings to tea parties is heavily informed by Edelgard's apparent endless lust for them. This means that the amount of sweets is approximately a metric fuckton and the other students are aware of this fact. It is just an obscene amount of sweets. Many kinds of sweets. Too many sweets one may argue.

this is part of why tea time with professor is so heavily sought after

she thinks that bringing like fifteen types of cake and more cookies than you can shake a stick at is just normal

Edelgard for her part just thinks that the professor is being very sweet and considerate of her tastes. And not considering that maybe she has fundamentally shaped this woman's view on what a normal amount of sweets is.

 

Also as discussed elsewhere with some friends...Jeralt is quietly screaming about his daughter's outfit. But only quietly screaming because god dammit she picked out that outfit herself. It is the most poorly designed for battle thing he has ever seen but holy shit his daughter had an opinion on something beyond :| and I mean granted she was still :| when she got the clothes but.

she picked something

maybe she likes it???

And I mean I guess the kid's so horrifyingly competent on the battlefield that she is literally feared by her own coworkers and called the Ashen Demon so like maybe it's fine that she has literally every vital part of her body exposed to the world.

 

Spoiler: This is more plot important Three Houses headcanon

The professor also wasn't being a dickhead or trying to joke when she was like 'Didn't you tell me to forget about that?' to Edelgard being like 'Do you remember what I told you?' She's being extremely sincere and honestly thought that maybe Edelgard was being serious and did want her to forget things because why would she say that otherwise. The professor is privately somewhat ): at knowing that she apparently fucked up.

they did eventually get better at these miscommunications though. if not in avoiding them then at least in working through the things.

 

One from Tumblr:

 

Thanks to a post that was on my dash for approximately 5 minutes before being deleted for reasons probably related to Extremely Bad Discourse Potential, I have decided that the Joker's life is basically a nonstop sequence of the assassin scene from The Pink Panther Strikes Again, but with costumed vigilantes.

 

Senku from Dr. Stone is anime Jimmy Neutron

 

i am pained

 

It may be true but you shouldn't say it.

 

From Tumblr:

 

White Diamond texts like a stereotypical boomer, bizarre punctuation choices and all.

 

The UA staff have finally found a out the only way to keep Midoriya out of trouble for a while and it's a bodyswap Quirk. Because, like, Midoriya doesn't want to break a body he's borrowing that would be rude! And whoever he's swapped with is like 'Hey Deku I don't know how to use your quirk without exploding. Also your bones shouldn't be making those noises. I'm going to go lie down'

 

Found this on Pinterest, originally from homestuckfluffcanons but I don't have the direct link:

 

Taking an LPer's joke and running with it: Pewter from AI: Somnium Files did in fact burn off his finger prints and, officially, no longer exists upon joining ABIS. It amuses him greatly and makes him feel like a Real Mad Scientist.

 

Uallach Eisner eats hardboiled eggs by taking the entire egg and stuffing it into her mouth. She does this with several things she can fit all of into her mouth comfortably enough but hardboiled eggs stand out. Some of the students and staff find this mortifying. Seteth has been very dismissive over it, for example.

this leads to people like raphael or caspar attempting to fit two eggs in their mouth

 

She also eats sunnyside up by sticking the entire egg into her mouth. Unbroken yolk and all.