I may or may not be distantly wondering if there's any fanfic about Japanese folktale character 寿限無寿限無五劫のすりきれ海砂利水魚の水行末雲行末風来末食う寝る処に住む処やぶら小路の藪柑子パイポパイポパイポパイポのシューリンガンシューリンガンのグーリンダイグーリンダイのポンポコピーのポンポコナーの長久命の長助. Everyone's favorite tag, Jugemu jugemu gokou no surikire kaijarisuigyo no suigyoumatsu ungyoumatsu fuuraimatsu kuunerutokoro ni sumutokoro yaburakouji no burakouji paipopaipo paipo no shuuringan shuuringan no guurindai guurindai no ponpokopii no ponpokonaa no choukyuumei no chousuke | Jugemu.
Jugemu is a story about a boy who, when born, many people suggested many auspicious names to give him. His parents could not decide on one and just went 'You know what would make our baby extra super safe? If We Gave Him ALL The Names.' Later on he gets hit in the head and gets a bump but because it takes so long to say his entire name the bump heals while they are reciting his super special magical name. Proof! PROOF I SAY. THAT HIS NAME TRULY IS MAGIC. He then falls down a well and it becomes very hard to save him and he almost dies because the people who find him have a really hard time reciting his entire name to his parents. The fun of retellings of this story are people attempting to say his entire name.
OH! i read the kinda racist western retelling of that story when i was a kid! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tikki_Tikki_Tembo
to backwards kowtow is to know the truth of all things as they simply are. clearly. (really though how does one do that backwards. it's a very specific pose. is he on his back like a turtle that's been flipped by a mean child?)
Like, it's listed as one of the (many and profound) 'cultural errors', and I'd think if he was, it'd be a pretty obvious joke, but...
I think the wikipedia page lists it under “Jugemu” should you someday encounter this as a Rumpelstiltskin situation. You know, just in case. Because it is a part of an oral storytelling tradition, I’d imagine you get some really great versions sometimes. The script I’ve seen had someone yelling something like, Oi, Jugemu Jugemu Gokou no... [whole name here]-kun! It’s time for school! Just try to imagine that with normal inflections but it’s Jugemu in the middle. I remember that too. Actually tbh I thought of it first and then was like, wait a minute, in retrospect that was pretty racist. Damn. Let’s go with something else even if it means I’ll probably misspell it in two different languages.
I seem to recall a vaguely similar - English maybe? - tale about a rich dipshit who gives elaborate names to various common household items and occurrences and demands that his family and servants use those names. IIRC he ends up burning to death because it takes the stressed out maid too long to explain that high topper mountain is on hot cockalorum the house is on fire.
he should hide in the thermal hull or the recuperacoon until the conflagration suppression drones arrive.
A complaint I remember from some years ago, in three parts: 1) A penis ten inches long is unlikely, but within the realms of possibility. 2) A penis ten inches wide is not. 3) A penis ten inches wide on a nonhuman that is less than three feet tall is just stupid. No, before anyone asks, it wasn't a hyper fetish thing, it was just dropped in casually.
When the only thing moving the plot along are a series of Misunderstandings That Could Have Been Fixed If A) Someone Read the Personnel File B) Someone Hadn't Used a Phrase Commonly Used As A Euphemism for Someone Having Died (Especially When Injured Character Could Reasonably Be Expected To Not Have Survived His Injuries) C) If The Fucking Idiots Would Fucking Talk To Each Other Instead of Assuming They Knew What The Fuck Was Going On When Clearly They Don't.
Misunderstandings that are logical and very likely to not be discussed between the two for good reasons, I like (for similar reasons I like some varieties of slowburn; the agony of knowing these two want to be together but can't because they're [unable to realize it/afraid to acknowledge it] scratches a very particular itch) but it's rare for it to be pulled off well. For instance: mutual pining between a superior officer and an enlisted where they're both faintly pining but the enlisted overhears the officer discussing how inappropriate anything like that would be (which missing the part where they say '-but if we weren't in the military, I'd be there for them in a heartbeat')? Absolutely, yes. I mean, a) it's against the rules, b) it plays into those interesting power dynamics I like so much, c) of course they wouldn't try and clear that misunderstanding up in that case, and d) it actually makes the payoff feel good when they're both out and can jump on that mutual attraction. (See also: doesn't realize he's in love with his best friend because he's been conditioned to think of himself as straight except WHOOPS best friend just started dating and he's jealous and oh fuck oh god what if he isn't straight oh noooo why does this feel like it would be a great thing he can tell no one. That's a variant on 'horrible miscommunications' that I can absolutely get into, played right.)
Actually, come to think of it, my favorite variation of "horrible misunderstandings between two people who've fallen in love with each other" started off as enemies-to-friends-to-lovers between two people whose only lines of communication were social media, and one of them started off as a characterA-critical blog to begin with, so everything in the premise was built around the idea of Misunderstandings while being internally consistent and reasonable enough for the audience to suspend disbelief around the rest of it.
