can y'all get around to modding my posts through quicker please

when i used to talk about like... being a terf or truscum and what those words mean to me, and why i use them instead of letting people get close to me and then finding out i exclude trans women or i just don’t pin my identity of gender like... you constantly point to the literal definition of words and insist that i should follow that dogma. genuinely am trying to adapt to how you think but now i see that you just shift the way you think to be self-serving. your main goal is to prove that i’m a sexual harasser, you will use any logic to get to that goal. and you never can because i’m not a sexual harasser.

 

okay, that’s fine. i acknowledge that. you seem fine. but everyone else left behind the concept of words long ago, and now we’re getting to the nitty gritty which is so i value consent or not. am i a creep. so let’s go.

 

... you are correct, the thing I thought had happened did not in fact happen the way I described it. this thread does not contain a post by Chiomi discussing the words diapers, submission, or sadistic. the posts I'm thinking of are:

(source) note Chiomi is uncomfortable with something they perceived to be a reference to kink, but doesn't publicly specify what it was.

TheSeer is the one who pointed out those three terms, in context, as constituting sexual harassment. (Trivia: spockandawe, seebs, and rigel all rated that post "agree.")

and spockandawe is the mod who said that your use of the word "submission" and references to sadism resembled sexual harassment and told you to stop saying those things to them.

so. whoops. got the wrong mod, and attributed TheSeer's words to the mod. it should have read

"spockandawe has told you that they do not consent to receive certain terms and metaphors you are using to express your opinions (including 'submission' and references to sadism). what are you going to say instead next time?"

Thank you for letting me know that I hadn't reported events accurately, and I apologize for the misattribution.

 

I am confused and kinda offended? @jacktrash you don't seem like the kind of person who would say this and mean it but I have no idea what else you could have meant?

eta: I get jacktrash is stressed out by this thread, and I don't wanna pressure him to keep engaging. I would kinda like him to address this at some point but it doesn't have to be right now.

eta again: @No?No. has explained the thing to my satisfaction, jacktrash if you're reading this we're chill again

 

it's a direct quote of lvkz/TG's own signature

 

he’s quoting my signature, which is a quote from karkat. it’s a reminder to myself to be emotionally detached while posting. i don’t know why he quoted it though, that’s for him to say

 

quote from TG up-thread in the spoiler. spoilered for references to pedophilia and child rape, which was honestly pretty shocking to me to see out of the blue, so hence, spoiler for the second time around

Spoiler

this is, most likely, an example of what people (mostly the mods) mean when they say that your posts have sexual connotations that you don't mean to be there because the surrounding context is nothing but sexual content. no one brought up pedophilia. no one brought up child rape. except you. you are the one who keeps comparing everything to rape, mostly behind closed doors thanks to the mod team's efforts. you are the one who keeps denying your words have any sexual connotations when the evidence to the contrary is right in front of your fucking eyeballs. you are the only one in this topic that continually changes the subject and brings up things completely unrelated to the words being said to you to go off on these weird tangents. that's all you, not anyone else.

 

OHH I have signatures turned off

still not sure I get it but offense level is much lower

 

like i get what’s logically going on. but i see little point in acknowledging the technicalities of it because in the end, this is a concerted effort to paint me as an abuser and getting into technicalities of ceding anything is likely to give people a mile. “give an inch, they’ll take a mile.” my main concern is my own trust and that’s not there so i’m only engaged in this conversation as far as i can find people i can trust. and in watching this conversation i found information that tells me i can not trust the general logic and emotional status of people on this forum. because when they make an emotion based decision (lukas is looking for attention, lukas is secretly into kink, he’s into getting sexual attention, we are gonna paint him as an abuser) they use logic to defend it, but the point is still emotionally based. so when we get back to that grounding point, there’s still the emotion to argue, which is entirely up to the person to decide. so in the end it’s pointless to argue the semantics, because i can only convince you through being sweet and likable, which is now cut off to me because it is now sexualized, any dynamic of power which is literal is now sexualized. this was a concerted effort to make me unable to express my feelings or make any progress towards being in a better relationship with the mods, because were now driving at this point of lukas’ secret bondage-baby-domination-kink which doesn’t exist. or maybe i’m just a suspicious person, but it’s damn good that i am, or else i’d be manipulated into a sexual situation right now. to be clear, submission and domination exist outside of a sexual context. sex and power exist entirely separate from each other. sex occurs on an entirely equal plane. there can be no sex with domination and submission. as for the bdsm community, i’m outside of it. i don’t believe in it. i don’t understand it on any level. i don’t think it’s valid. i’m sorry to anyone who drew those conclusions about me, as that is truly horrifying. i would never be that person. i wholeheartedly deny it. of course i am
sorry to the hypothetical that someone is actually hurt here, but judging by the extreme anger and dog piling reaction, the true motive here is not safety and comfort for one person. that person left and the discussion about me being a pervert is still being pressed. it seems clear to me that this fight is not about one person feeling safe. as to whether i should use certain words to describe my feelings, i have several qualms with that but i have more qualms with the fact that your motives reach far beyond the words i use. you refuse to acknowledge my boundaries and my description of reality and my true self. that to me is a bigger problem than the words i use

 

honestly in my opinion this forum needs rules. if we simply had rules and banned people everyone would be much happier i think.

 

There is not a single post in this thread making these assertions except you, and people have repeatedly denied saying this and clarified their positions.

 

there’s more layers to it too, like there’s irony in the context from homestuck

 

I'm sorry, but language is mutually constructed, if you want to live only by your personal description of reality you probably shouldn't be talking to people

For what it's worth, I don't think anyone has accused you of being or thought of you as being into kink. I think the main attempt has been to explain that the words that have been under discussion are fairly commonly used in a sexual context, and you talk about sex a lot, so other people will probably assume when you talk about sadism, submission, etc, they may feel like a sexual undertone has entered the conversation. It's clear you do not want that undertone to enter the conversation, but as you have your reality of how you feel about those words, so does everybody else. So the suggestion is that, in the future, you try using different words so that the misunderstanding does not come up again.

((edit: i used 'my dude' in the first sentence and then realized that was probably inappropriately familiar since we've never spoken before, so i removed it, sorry!))

 

@townghost I thought of something that might be useful

I'm pretty sure some of your posts are getting wiggled because they're nsfw content in areas of the site that are supposed to be casually readable by minors and people who don't want to see nsfw.

if you want to post things that people are going to perceive as nsfw -- whatever your reasons are, whatever your intentions are, whether you mean it as nsfw or not -- you might have better luck getting them approved if you made a thread in bottom serket. or put a spoiler saying they were nsfw or could be read as nsfw or something.

like, there's things that won't get through, doxxing for instance, no matter how well you warn. but -- putting warnings on your content, even if it ends up being like a big "choose not to warn/unrated" on everything you post, is something kintsugi really values. because a spoiler with a warning can be part of the process of getting solid consent -- informing someone of what you're going to do, and letting them stop you before you do it.

and on kintsugi solid consent is probably the most important thing? because we're a community of people whose consent has been violated (not necessarily each of us individually but all of us collectively, if that makes sense?) and so consent is the principle around which we organize. nobody is below dignity. nobody is below respect. literally everyone gets boundaries, even people who seem incomprehensibly bad. that's the point. and the culture of putting warnings on stuff, and sorting content by which forum it's in, that's about boundaries too. so. that could be part of why people seem to be reacting more strongly than you think is warranted?

 

do you think you would be happier if you were banned?