clowntown daily dispatch (acey’s bejeweled baguette): currently screaming about fanfiction

how talk gorl how get gorlfren

 

Have you tried leaving a piece of cheese under a box propped up with a Stick? Very effective.

 

Acquire animal. Hold up to girl, and ask if she wants to pet it. Works with dogs, cats, snakes and frogs.

 

rat gf??? [thinking emoji]

sadly i am not currently in a place where i can care for a pet :( alas

 

The forest is full of free animals, Acey.

 

Alternatively, your favourite Pokémon will also work in a pinch.

 

you know what you're not wrong, i live in a forest and could prolly procure a wild turkey

 

back in NH I lived in a foresty area, by the nature of New England being like that, and the wild turkey would just run out into the road???? do they do that there too??????

 

ALL THE TIME, you just gotta wait for 'em to disperse

 

one time i was out for a walk and there were three turkeys just chillin in the middle of the road, i just stood there for like five minutes waiting for them to move lmao

 

so stoked for my new lappy to get here...look at this beauty

 

a new fren!! his name is layton

 

That looks an awful lot like mine! Acer?

 

HP Omen, actually!

 

it's so weird that i'm 27 and still get wigged out when i'm called a woman with no qualifiers like "young?"

it's not a gender thing, i'm really happy when people refer to me with synonyms and similar terms--i use "girl" and "lady" to refer to myself all the time--and "woman" is the actual gender that Feels Right. i think it's probably a maturity thing? which is why i'm like...pls brain...i'm a grown-ass adult...let me accept that...

 

SAME

women are like... my mom. I am not in the same category as my mom. I have no idea what I’m doing. I am simply female type pokémon.

 

legit so glad it's not just me omg

 

That's a great descriptor, lol

Definitely have more of a Janet-like "not a _____" to every descriptor I've gotten before myself, but the age-related ??? reaction is relatable af.

It was so weird when I started getting ma'am more than miss in public. On the phone it's still a tossup between ma'am, miss, and sir, so... /eyeroll

 

sometimes i read the simpsons tearjerker page on tvtropes and cry just from that

 

happy wead day