I went from five classes at the beginning of this semester to 3 classes now. I had to fill out a special form in order to stay in the dorm because you have to have a certain amount of credit hours to live here, and if I lose another class I will be evicted. It is possible for me to move in with my grandparents and still get to campus for the rest of the semester if I have to, but that is the last resort because while I am 'used' to disappointing family members, it is not pleasant. My whole family has been helping out with getting me what i need for college, and until now my fuck ups have normally been within the close family (father, stepmom, sometimes big sister, little brother doesn't count because he doesn't rag on me for failing something) and I don't want the rest of the family to hear through the grape vine how their niece/granddaughter has fucked up. I haven't been getting help or counseling for a while because I've been telling myself that I'm not suicidal so it isn't that big of a deal (bad idea in hindsight) but I've finally come to terms with the fact that it is a problem and I'm not fixing it on my own, so I'm going to see one of the school counselors. Asking for help has always been hard, and while I do mention my issues (mostly online) it's always left me with feelings of "You're whining, stop whining, no one wants to make time to listen to your whining." And I can't tell anymore whether my lack of doing anything productive is linked to depression or laziness, but I tend to blame laziness and then I lie in bed drowning myself in guilt and shame and stress. The problem currently is that I missed the latest test for one of my classes because I didn't study enough and I haven't been doing homework so I couldn't even work off of fuzzy memories and I missed the last test for the same reason, and the teacher sent me an email saying that if I couldn't think of a compelling explanation for my actions/lack of actions he is going to drop me from the class. I can't think of how to put anything into words. Except "please let me retake it next week I'm really sorry" I would ask the counselor but I don't know how soon I can get an appointment. Is anyone better at explanations? I'm going to call the counselor now. And maybe stare at a blank work document and pray for inspiration. Or maybe I'll do neither and stare at Facebook for a while. It's great being reliable.
Spoiler: enghh *crosses fingers* Professor's name, I am very sorry. I missed class yesterday for mental health reasons, and misread the dates for the makeup test last time. I would be incredibly appreciative if I could retake the latest test sometime next week if possible. I am going to get an appointment to start getting help for those issues as soon as I can, but my previous actions are my own fault for not getting help earlier. I would like to see what i can do to stay in the class and finish this semester on better footing. Once again, I would like to apologize for my lack of action. I am hoping that will change. My name should I erase my old threads, I don't know what to do with them. or if I should stop making them altogether.
seconding that that sounds like a reasonable letter! Also definitely talk to the counselors and ask them if there are any accommodations available to students with depression. I just got them last year (just in time for senior year!) and they've been helping a ton. Teachers tend to want to help you out, but they have to be "fair." Accommodations pretty much give them permission to be nice to you.
That sounds like a good letter! I've also struggled in classes due to depression, and my professors tended to be pretty understanding. Not 'don't make me do the work' understanding, but I'd get the little bit of leeway I needed. Good luck and I hope you can work things out!
