Last Activity:: Jul 7, 2019

Joined:: Jul 31, 2016

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Gender (optional):: Female

Birthday:: November 7

Home Page:: http://engagethrusters.tumblr.com

Location:: Oregon

Occupation:: Perpetually Exhausted Pidgeon

Jove

[ destination defenestration ], Female, from Oregon

It's that time, folks. Communion with the stars before things start exploding. Happy 4th and look out below for horoscopes. Jul 4, 2019

Jove was last seen:: Jul 7, 2019

1. Jove
  It's that time, folks. Communion with the stars before things start exploding. Happy 4th and look out below for horoscopes.
  
  Jul 4, 2019
  1. Jean, Nobody's Home, Deresto and 3 others like this.
  2. View previous comments...
  3. Jove
    AQUARIUS: It's not betrayal if you never liked them in the first place. Then it's just patience.
    
    Jul 4, 2019
    
    Jean, Nobody's Home, Artemis and 2 others like this.
  4. Jove
    PISCES: There are established rules about safety. Know which ones are there just so some asshole can't sue you.
    
    Jul 4, 2019
    
    Jean, Nobody's Home and Acey like this.
  5. Jove
    And there you go. The stars have spoken.
    
    Jul 4, 2019
    
    Jean, Everett, Nobody's Home and 3 others like this.
2. Jove
  Proper tinfoil hats require a grounding wire to carry the bad signals away to prevent contact. Otherwise, it just attracts ravens.
  
  Jul 3, 2019
  1. jacktrash, Everett, Acey and 6 others like this.
  2. tickingnectarine
    You say that like it’s a bad thing.
    
    Jul 3, 2019
    
    Jove, Acey, hyrax and 5 others like this.
3. Jove
  SURVEY: Where are they buried? You can tell us. We just want to know all of your secrets.
  
  Jul 1, 2019
  1. swirlingflight, Morgan Jae, Artemis and 8 others like this.
  2. Verily
    Oh gosh, SURVEY, I'm really sorry. I just have no head for directions, you see. But if you send a representative to meet with me at maybe around 1:38 am tomorrow night, you know the place, I'm certain I can arrange a guided tour guaranteed to abruptly answer several of your questions!
    
    Jul 1, 2019
    
    Key, swirlingflight, Codeless and 6 others like this.
  3. Acey
    So unfortunately I didn’t bury anyone, I just set the bodies on fire. My bad. I hope I’m not penalized for that.
    
    Jul 1, 2019
    
    swirlingflight, Codeless, Artemis and 2 others like this.
  4. Artemis
    ((This gives me flashbacks to my summer job on the cemetery in North Dakota. My parents bought us a family plot when we were born, you see, to ensure we could be buried with them. This plot is at the same cemetery I worked at, meaning I have walked on my own grave multiple times and seen my name looking back at me from the stone.))
    
    Jul 1, 2019
    
    Jove, Erica, swirlingflight and 2 others like this.
4. Jove
  Today, you may fall into a bottomless pit. This is not a metaphor.
  
  May 13, 2019
  1. Verily, Jean, Everett and 4 others like this.
  2. View previous comments...
  3. Aondeug
    oh ok. god i hope my professor accepts it. if she gets it. when she gets it.
    
    May 13, 2019
    
    Acey and Jove like this.
  4. Jove
    Oh, don't worry. The Void knows how to pen a very convincing, strongly worded notice. This is also not a metaphor.
    
    May 13, 2019
    
    Jean, Acey, Gee and 1 other person like this.
  5. Acey
    remember to live life to the fullest, because you could fall into a bottomless pit at any time
    
    May 13, 2019
    
    Deresto, Jean, Jove and 1 other person like this.
5. Jove
  Friendship measured in time spent huddled together, cards pressed to outstretched palms, chanting "out of the earth, into the earth."
  
  May 4, 2019
  1. goldenflowertea, Deresto, jacktrash and 5 others like this.
  2. jacktrash
    potato farmers brotherhood
    
    May 4, 2019
    
    Acey, Verily, Lazarae and 2 others like this.
6. Jove
  A private firm has weaponized the sensation of going to a rock concert alone.
  
  May 2, 2019
  1. Verily, Everett, Morgan Jae and 5 others like this.
7. Jove
  Damning evidence which proves tonight's moon is an imposter.
  
  Apr 27, 2019
  1. Acey, Verily, Morgan Jae and 4 others like this.
8. Jove
  Valentine's Day Special: We'll mail you the heart of your valentine, no charge! Just have romantic feelings for someone, we'll find them.
  
  Apr 25, 2019
  1. jacktrash, Acey, Gee and 6 others like this.
  2. Deresto
    Do you take multiple orders?
    
    Apr 26, 2019
    
    Jove and Acey like this.
  3. Jove
    Of course we do! What kind of operation would we be running if we didn't?
    
    Apr 26, 2019
    
    Acey and Deresto like this.
9. Jove
  Welcome to KFC! Forget about the noise you heard last time. We've made it stop now.
  
  Apr 24, 2019
  1. Gee, Deresto, chthonicfatigue and 6 others like this.
  2. Acey
    thank you for making the noise stop, it was getting on my nerves
    
    Apr 24, 2019
    
    Jove and Deresto like this.
  3. chthonicfatigue
    Kentucky Fright Chicken
    
    Apr 24, 2019
    
    Acey, Jove, Gee and 1 other person like this.
10. Jove
  Chills down your spine, cars crashing into each other deliberately, screams from miles away. Someone is using Comic Sans, someone you know.
  
  Apr 22, 2019
  1. goldenflowertea, Artemis, Everett and 8 others like this.
11. Jove
  Live by the sword, befriend the sword. Use the sword to smite those who would dare oppose you.
  
  Apr 22, 2019
  1. goldenflowertea, Everett, Morgan Jae and 5 others like this.
  2. Morgan Jae
    good swords make good neighbors
    
    Apr 22, 2019
    
    Jove and Everett like this.
12. Jove
  You're not sure what Nick Jr.'s been teaching your kid, but she's been making direct eye contact while tearing phone books in half all day.
  
  Apr 21, 2019
  1. Everett likes this.
  2. Lazarae
    What a nice child.
    
    Apr 21, 2019
    
    Jean, devils-avocado and Jove like this.
13. Jove
  I have been communing with the stars. Prepare, horoscopes are coming. Look below in the comments. You know what you've done.
  
  Apr 21, 2019
  1. Artemis, Jean, ChelG and 2 others like this.
  2. View previous comments...
  3. Jove
    Thank you! Mayhaps the stars and I should commune more for everyone's horoscope needs.
    
    Apr 21, 2019
    
    jacktrash, Lazarae and Artemis like this.
  4. jacktrash
    if you started a horoscope thread i'd super follow it
    
    Apr 22, 2019
    
    Jove and Artemis like this.
  5. Jove
    I may consider it, but most likely just watch for status updates-- those are just easier for me. Might make it an every Saturday/Sunday thing.
    
    Apr 22, 2019
    
    jacktrash and Artemis like this.
14. Jove
  Expose the secret colors of the universe with one weird trick discovered by a graphic designer. But first, he needs to see we mean business.
  
  Dec 11, 2018
  1. Morgan Jae, Everett, Artemis and 3 others like this.
15. Jove
  If hearing our collective voice issuing from your friends' mouths didn't convince you to try our diet pills, we're not sure what else to do.
  
  Dec 10, 2018
  1. Verily, Acey, Deresto and 4 others like this.
16. Jove
  "Let's get real for a moment," you say, our forms becoming concrete, everything around us now flickering and pale.
  
  Dec 8, 2018
  1. goldenflowertea, jacktrash, Morgan Jae and 8 others like this.
17. Jove
  The sky falls dark. After a 21-year journey, the Windows 95 flying toasters are back. And they're hungry.
  
  Dec 2, 2018
  1. jacktrash, thegrimsqueaker, Artemis and 8 others like this.
  2. tickingnectarine
    What?
    
    Dec 2, 2018
  3. hyrax
    GOD i would legitimately love a flying toasters screen saver in tyool 2018
    
    Dec 2, 2018
    
    Artemis and Acey like this.
  4. Jove
    @tickingnectarine Windows 95 has a flying toaster screensaver. (And also my status updates are satirical fiction, save for the one or two that aren't.)
    
    Dec 2, 2018
    
    tickingnectarine likes this.
18. Jove
  While spending five minutes trying to remember what you were talking about earlier, you have created at least one divergent reality.
  
  Dec 1, 2018
  1. Verily, devils-avocado, Deresto and 6 others like this.
  2. Aondeug
    i live in terror of siht like that
    
    Dec 1, 2018
19. Jove
  Your coworker asks if there are any job openings. She wonders if anyone's managed to escape through one yet.
  
  Nov 30, 2018
  1. Morgan Jae, Jean, Everett and 3 others like this.
20. Jove
  The way water floods the room whenever you get worried, those impossibly long hallways that keep appearing-- your house is weird, dude.
  
  Nov 24, 2018
  1. Morgan Jae, Paradigm Shift, Everett and 2 others like this.
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About

Gender (optional):

Female

Birthday:

November 7

Home Page:

http://engagethrusters.tumblr.com

Location:

Oregon

Occupation:

Perpetually Exhausted Pidgeon

Gender Identity:

female

I'm Jove. Scorpio. Lover of all things tea, coffee and squid. Soft on the outside, heavy metal on the inside. Deeply in love. 90% puns, 10% everyone's mom. And could you please help me find my keys? I swear I had them just two seconds ago.

ALERT! All of my status updates are satirical fiction, and in no way literal— if something still offends you, PM me or comment directly.

Feel free to PM me or hit me up on Discord at jove#9767 for absolutely any reason, at any time. (Just let me know you’re from Kintsugi in Discord!)
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she/her — jove#9767 @ discord
vent thread • a guide to dark places

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