Sounds kinda ADHD to me? Time blindness and the hyperfocus thing. I also get grumpy about being interrupted, i think it's because if focus is hard in general, when I get really into something and then get interrupted it's frustrating because there's no guarantee I'll get the focus back. if that makes sense. Maybe a calendar might help? Or a list posted somewhere he can check off tasks as they're done, maybe write the time? It may take a little bit to form the habit of remembering to note things down, but. My therapist has also suggested placing a clock in each room at home so it's easier to keep track of time.
That sounds really familar, and thus ADHDish, to me. What's helped me - even on medication - has been to write absolutely everything down, and set a lot of timers. Having something he can carry around and make a note of whatever the moment he finds out about it (or does the thing) can help a lot.
Apologies if I'm stating the obvious, but make sure your items are divided up - have each feeding as its own separate item. As for list items, it really depends on what you need to do daily and what gets forgotten or delayed. If one of you forgets to brush your teeth often enough, for example, that's a valid list item. Also, don't overload yourself with lists from the getgo! It's easy to get overwhelmed. You may want to stick with just those most necessary things until you get used to keeping and referring to the checklist, and then add on a bit at a time from there. Does your boyfriend consume caffeine at all? For some people it can be really helpful in self-medicating for ADHD, although of course he wouldn't want to overdo it.
I also have ADHD, pretty badly, and it's compounded with dissociation bullshit that makes remembering stuff....really hard for me. the checklist is a really great idea as long as both of you remember to check it. items I might suggest adding are: put dog out (if your dog needs to be put out to go to the bathroom), and anything else you might need to do daily but struggle with--like walking the dog, for instance. it might also be useful to set out a checklist by days, and then put things that need to be done once a week on certain days, like laundry. you mentioned that sometimes you need to remember when the dog was fed--is that often the case? because if yes, I might suggest doing something like this when you check off an item on the checklist: "fed dog: (check) at (time when feeding happened)" just in case the exact time becomes important. oh, and question: do either of you have trouble remembering important things like appointments or passwords or the events of yesterday or when, specifically, something was done? because I also have helpful things for those! but generally, organization and writing down, like, everything ever that you need to do and when you need to do it is helpful. which is kind of funny, because people with ADHD also struggle a lot with organization....but that's what I've found to be useful. agendas, in particular, are good.
Sounds very ADHD to me as well. Seconding the organization and checklist thing! I do something similar on Habitica. Also, if he has a smartphone, I've found it helps to set alarms (labeled, of course) for important things I often forget to do otherwise. It especially helps if they're as loud and annoying as possible, IMO, since I find those way harder to ignore or tune out. (I also use different alarm tones for each alarm, which helps a lot in terms of associating them with their tasks as well.)
the thing Acey just said about phone alarms is what I was going to suggest for keeping track of appointments--I usually set an alarm for it for two hours before I have to go, and then a half hour before I have to go, and I make them as annoying and loud as humanly possible. it's irritating, but that's kind of the point, since it gets me to look at the phone and read what it's telling me. the reason I set two is that I have a tendency to read the first one and dismiss it and go "what-fucking-ever", and then the second one will pop up and I go "....okay, FINE, I'll go." and I mean, having your space in any kind of disorganized or organized state is fine if it works for you! I mean organization more in the sense of....keeping track of appointments, what time things have happened, what time things need to be done--i.e., if I know I have to feed my dog at 6:00am and put her out sometimes between 6:15 and 6:30am, I write on the checklist exactly when those things should be happening, and then when I check them off, I write when I did them, so anyone (including me) who forgets or needs to know can just look at the list. similarly, it can really help to plot future stuff out--it can be sort of draining while you are plotting, but it saves time and effort later. setting a laundry day and adding it and walking to the checklist seems like a good idea! you might want to look up your dog's breed's activity level--I mean, if you haven't been having a lot of trouble with her being destructive over not getting enough activity, it's probably not too big an issue, but with Hannah (my doggo), for instance, we had to compromise walks because we can't walk her every day, but her breed still needs exercise pretty much every day, so what we do now is when she's supposed to go to the bathroom, we hook her up on a long lead, and let her romp around for as long as she pleases! she'll go to the bathroom while she's out there, and then she barks when she's good and ready to come back in. so you might want to look up what your dog's activity level should be, and try to figure out ways to meet it.
+1 on having a set laundry time. I was always running out of stuff and having to do emergency loads of laundry when I did it whenever; then my washing machine broke and I had to start using the apartment complex's laundry room, which requires reserving the machines in advance. Even though it seemed like it'd be a huge pain in the ass having to tote laundry back and forth, it's actually relieved a lot of stress just by being at a set time on a set day, once a week. I never unexpectedly run out of clean clothes or towels anymore, and it's wonderful.
your dog sounds cute!! that said, playing with her when she wants to is actually something that really helps to satisfy a dog's exercise need, so it sounds like you're good on that, imo, although you still may want to walk her once a week if you can. although if it's winter where you are and there is snow and ice melt and such, get a towel to rub her down when you get back, especially her paws--if you don't get ice melt and the like off a dog's paws, they might lick it off themselves, and it can make them sick.
