Kintsugi Plays Fallen Hero: Retribution (50 First Therapy Appointments)

Height poll will remain open until the game actually prompts me for an answer. Meanwhile, RNG wins the day for facial hair! random.org says 4, which corresponds to:​

> With a short, scruffy beard and mustache.

You can feel your scruffy beard under your fingers. She hasn't commented on it. You wonder why.

Is she afraid you'd react badly?

You're overthinking things again. You know it. Ortega probably knows it too, standing there, talking into the wind while your thoughts drift elsewhere. The beach holds too many memories for easy conversation.

The wind smells like salt and blood.

"I'm fine," you lie, looking out over the ocean. The coastline looks nothing like before the Big One. You've only seen pictures, it's hard to imagine it's the same place. It's slowly becoming something friendlier than the ruined skeleton it used to be, the sand slowly returning, scars growing softer. Nature heals quicker than people.

"Liar," she says, not accusingly, just matter-of-fact. It's an old dance between you, and you're starting to relearn the steps. "Come on…"

　‣ My first name, like always.
　‣ It's my surname, just like it is for Ortega.
　‣ It's my nickname…

In addition to facial hair, we've unlocked the ability to choose how Ortega addresses us! Are we more of a "Josie", a "Jacobs", or a "${nickname}", do you think?

(On the off chance anyone's pondering an uncapitalized, common-noun-style nickname: while those mostly mesh okay with the game's script, in this particular case you'd better be prepared for Ortega to say it a lot.)​

Spoiler: Show Stats

CLASSIFIED

Subject: Anathema

Secret Identity: Josie Jacobs
Gender: Non-binary.
Description: A mixed person in their thirties with brown eyes and short and styled curly dark brown hair.

They have a short, scruffy beard and mustache.

Standard of Living: Josie is comfortable.

Josie Jacobs is a seasoned, tech-savvy tactician.

Physical Status
Stamina: You are rested.
Willpower: You feel calm.
Injuries: You are fine, with no significant wounds.

Telepathy
Strength of Mind: 50%
████████████████████
Subtle Manipulations: 74%
██████████████▒█████

Anathema
Infamy: 47% / Obscurity: 53%
█████████▒██████████

Armored Suit
Anathema's suit is a shadow with a mirror for a face, revealing nothing. The cape conceals and obfuscates what's underneath.
In its left hand, the suit has a neutered colony of nanovores, functionally similar to having disintegration touch. The suit is also equipped with telepathic boosters and enhanced speed as well as jump-jets.

Armor Status
Need Repair: 0% / Fine: 100%
████████████████████

Psychological Profile
Arrogance: 25% / Anonymity: 75%
████████████████████
Ruthlessness: 39% / Empathy: 61%
███████▒████████████
Daring: 64% / Caution: 36%
████████████▒███████

Back in the day, Sidestep was known as a vigilante working with the Rangers.

Main Puppet
Name: Barbara
Puppet Status: She is fine, and has no serious wounds.
Description: A tall white woman in her twenties with blue eyes and long straight blond hair.

Allies and Enemies

Charge
Josie's Relationship with Ortega: Friend.
Ortega's Connection with Josie: 82%
████████████████▒███
Ortega thinks there's something else going on with Anathema.

Barbara's Relationship with Ortega: Flirting.
Ortega's Connection with Barbara: 59%
███████████▒████████

Dr. Mortum
Barbara's Relationship with Dr. Mortum: flirting.
Mortum's Connection with Barbara: 65%
████████████████████

Lady Argent
Josie's Relationship with Lady Argent: Distant.
Lady Argent's Impression of Josie: 1%
▒███████████████████
Lady Argent thinks Anathema is a cheater.

Marshal Steel
Josie's Relationship with Steel: Former ally.
Steel's Connection with Josie: 24%
████▒███████████████

Herald
Josie's Relationship with Herald: Distant.
Herald's Connection with Josie: 20%
████████████████████
Herald thinks Anathema is a villain.

Other Characters

 

Josie! I think that's what she went with last time too.

 

Surely Josie's backstory is complicated enough without retconning any nicknames into it.

(Brief gore in this one.)​

> My first name, like always.

Your name is too familiar on her lips.

"Come on, Josie, don't stonewall me here. I know you. What are you thinking about?"

"Life," you say, avoiding her gaze. Too intense, but so is the thundercloud of static next to you. You feel uneasy standing next to someone whose actions you can't predict, so you look back reluctantly. It's safer if less comfortable; this way, you will have time to react if she makes a move. Pretending to be normal is a delicate balance. Looking at her face but not her eyes, or that spot on the horizon right over her ear. You should never have removed the mask; behind those opaque lenses, nobody noticed whether you were making eye contact or not.

You wonder if she ever realized how much effort went into a simple conversation, planning your gestures and reactions as thoroughly as if it had been a fight. No, a fight would have been easier.

ah yes, the relatable ND experience of being…*checks notes*…a telepath.​

She's shifted position now, leaning against the guardrail, looking at you.

　‣ Too tall. I'm short in comparison.
　‣ Taller than me, I was always average.
　‣ Does it annoy her that I'm taller?

We have a vote each for tall and RNG, so I'll compromise by giving tall an extra lottery ticket. RNG says… we have successfully defeated our nemesis in height!​

> Does it annoy her that I'm taller?

Does it bother her that she has to look up at you now that you've stopped slouching? Or are you overthinking things again? You focus on the details of her face instead, deconstructing it to scenery, no different from the rocks in the ocean and just as unreadable. Is that a frown? Or just the sun in her face? Her hair is short enough for the wind to play with. Not heavy like it used to be. Wild and unfettered, like the past you try your best to forget.

"Not death?" The question is light, but she's frowning. "Considering what you keep staring at."

"What?" You blink, feeling caught out. What does she know? No, wait, she was talking about something else. Staring? What were you staring at? Her probably, but you can't tell her that. You blink again, eyes narrowing against the brightness, the ocean glittering, the small waves like reflective glass. On the horizon, you can see the gutted strip of land that is Rolling Hills, where… "Oh." You look away, reflexively slumping, making yourself less noticeable. As if that ever worked.

"Ten years, right?" Ortega rubs her right arm. You can see the discoloration of her skin where the grafts never fully took. You remember her flesh breaking open, the skin peeled back and devoured by the hungry nanovores, exposed when she reached out to drag Elyise to safety. You remember her mods flaring wildly, the surge of electricity unable to fry the nanovores fast enough to stop them.

The same panicked surge of electricity that put Elyise out of her misery. You wonder if Julia planned it that way. You wonder if she noticed what happened. Did she decide that a quick death was better than a slow one? Was she capable of that? You don't know. Maybe it was just a mistake. Maybe she was just trying to be a hero. Trying to save a friend. Nearly doomed them both. You wish she'd learned.

"It feels longer," you say, voice dry like summer grass. The Nanosurge. The incident that finally made you accepted by the heroes of this city. When you saved her. Saved everyone.

Is it ironic that you're now using the nanovores to your benefit? Fitting?

"It used to. Lately, it's been feeling like yesterday." Ortega hesitates, and you can't help but think the pause is a meaningful one.

Yesterday. You resist rubbing your face. You feel itchy all over. Do you feel the same, or are you just pretending to?

Do you even know how to connect to her these days? Be friends?

It takes you a moment to realize that Ortega has kept talking, and you catch the tail end of another confession. "…I'm glad you're back in my life."

　‣ "You're turning sentimental," I say. "Getting old?"
　‣ "I'm not going to put on the suit again."
　‣ "Same," I admit. "I'm glad I saved you back then."
　‣ "I saved your life." Why can't I remember how that felt?

Spoiler: Show Stats

CLASSIFIED

Subject: Anathema

Secret Identity: Josie Jacobs
Gender: Non-binary.
Description: A tall mixed person in their thirties with brown eyes and short and styled curly dark brown hair.

They have a short, scruffy beard and mustache.

Standard of Living: Josie is comfortable.

Josie Jacobs is a seasoned, tech-savvy tactician.

Physical Status
Stamina: You are rested.
Willpower: You feel calm.
Injuries: You are fine, with no significant wounds.

Telepathy
Strength of Mind: 50%
████████████████████
Subtle Manipulations: 74%
██████████████▒█████

Anathema
Infamy: 47% / Obscurity: 53%
█████████▒██████████

Armored Suit
Anathema's suit is a shadow with a mirror for a face, revealing nothing. The cape conceals and obfuscates what's underneath.
In its left hand, the suit has a neutered colony of nanovores, functionally similar to having disintegration touch. The suit is also equipped with telepathic boosters and enhanced speed as well as jump-jets.

Armor Status
Need Repair: 0% / Fine: 100%
████████████████████

Psychological Profile
Arrogance: 25% / Anonymity: 75%
████████████████████
Ruthlessness: 39% / Empathy: 61%
███████▒████████████
Daring: 64% / Caution: 36%
████████████▒███████

Back in the day, Sidestep was known as a vigilante working with the Rangers.

Main Puppet
Name: Barbara
Puppet Status: She is fine, and has no serious wounds.
Description: A tall white woman in her twenties with blue eyes and long straight blond hair.

Allies and Enemies

Charge
Josie's Relationship with Ortega: Friend.
Ortega's Connection with Josie: 82%
████████████████▒███
Ortega thinks there's something else going on with Anathema.

Barbara's Relationship with Ortega: Flirting.
Ortega's Connection with Barbara: 59%
███████████▒████████

Dr. Mortum
Barbara's Relationship with Dr. Mortum: flirting.
Mortum's Connection with Barbara: 65%
████████████████████

Lady Argent
Josie's Relationship with Lady Argent: Distant.
Lady Argent's Impression of Josie: 1%
▒███████████████████
Lady Argent thinks Anathema is a cheater.

Marshal Steel
Josie's Relationship with Steel: Former ally.
Steel's Connection with Josie: 24%
████▒███████████████

Herald
Josie's Relationship with Herald: Distant.
Herald's Connection with Josie: 20%
████████████████████
Herald thinks Anathema is a villain.

Other Characters

 

I'm glad I saved you

 

The use of admit increases the appeal of that option

 

You know you've let someone too close when you're willing to admit you're glad they're not dead.

(More Nanogore ahead.)​

> "Same," I admit. "I'm glad I saved you back then."

"Same." That much you can admit. A single word is short enough not to trip over. "I'm glad I saved your life back when they…" Your eyes flit to her arm, quickly as a mouse darting from an owl.

"I won't lie, I thought I was dead." Her mouth is a thin, tense line. "And it wouldn't be a pretty way to go."

You both fall silent, trying not to remember.

Trying not to remember people screaming, flayed alive by nanovore smoke, layer after layer of skin devoured, blood too, muscle…it wasn't a quick death, not unless they went into the lungs. It took time for them to reach vital organs. It took time until the shock set in. The hypothermia. Like being submerged in acid. Or sloughing skin from radiation burns. You remember—more than you want. Ortega's face, pained, her skin searing as she reached for a dissolving Elyise. An instinctive act? Elyise's skinsuit must have hidden most of the damage; maybe she thought she could still be saved. Maybe she just couldn't stop herself. Elyise was screaming.

And then Julia was.

And then you were.

Screaming.

A single word.

No.

And they listened. And it hurt. So much. So overwhelming. So alien. But they stopped. You held them. You held them until your nose started bleeding. Until your knees collapsed. You held them while people evacuated. You held them until they brought the containment units. You held them, and then you led them. Into the containment units. Into stasis. Safety.

And then you collapsed.

There was a reason you had the nanovores neutered. You don't ever want to live through that again.

"Hey," Ortega says, her hand on your shoulder. Warm. Heavy. "It's over."

"Is it?" Your laugh is a nervous hiccup.

"Well, that emergency is. There's always a new one, I suppose." She echoes your laugh with more confidence.

"You could always do what I did and retire." You give her a pointed look. "There are other people who can save the world."

"Saving the world is a bit above my pay grade." Ortega shrugs; is she being humble? Doesn't sound like her. "I'll settle for saving people." A twitchy little smile. "Or stopping them."

You look away. "You've always had too many vendettas." You don't like the way she looks at you. It is just out of the corner of her eye as if she's hoping you won't notice. You wondered for a while if she suspected it was you under that helmet, back at the museum. She hasn't acted on it, so perhaps it was just your paranoia. It wouldn't be the first time.

"Right now, I only have one."

"Really?" You raise a questioning eyebrow, looking back at her with a smirk.

"Well, two," she admits, rubbing her neck. "Hollow Ground and—"

"Anathema," you fill in, holding her gaze. You can see her flinch at the name, like she does every time it's mentioned. Will she ever get used to it? The guilt of someone using her dead friend's name?

"Yes." Ortega sighs, shoulders slumping slightly. "I suppose so. Even if…"

"Even if?"

"It doesn't matter. Anathema might have their reasons, but I don't have a choice in this. I need to stop this. Stop…them."

"Shouldn't you be worrying about yourself?" It's not nice to taunt, but you were the one who hurt her, so by definition, you are not nice. The bruises may have faded, but she still doesn't move right.

"You know I never do." There's a smile on her face, but you can see that the barb stung. "Want to give me a hand like the old days?"

"Be patient," you say, giving her a companionable grin. "You'll heal eventually."

"I'm working on it." Ortega looks grim.

　‣ "You don't need to be the one to take them down, you know?"
　‣ "I thought we were here to talk about us, not Anathema."

Spoiler: Show Stats

CLASSIFIED

Subject: Anathema

Secret Identity: Josie Jacobs
Gender: Non-binary.
Description: A tall mixed person in their thirties with brown eyes and short and styled curly dark brown hair.

They have a short, scruffy beard and mustache.

Standard of Living: Josie is comfortable.

Josie Jacobs is a seasoned, tech-savvy tactician.

Physical Status
Stamina: You are rested.
Willpower: You feel calm.
Injuries: You are fine, with no significant wounds.

Telepathy
Strength of Mind: 50%
████████████████████
Subtle Manipulations: 74%
██████████████▒█████

Anathema
Infamy: 47% / Obscurity: 53%
█████████▒██████████

Armored Suit
Anathema's suit is a shadow with a mirror for a face, revealing nothing. The cape conceals and obfuscates what's underneath.
In its left hand, the suit has a neutered colony of nanovores, functionally similar to having disintegration touch. The suit is also equipped with telepathic boosters and enhanced speed as well as jump-jets.

Armor Status
Need Repair: 0% / Fine: 100%
████████████████████

Psychological Profile
Arrogance: 25% / Anonymity: 75%
████████████████████
Ruthlessness: 39% / Empathy: 61%
███████▒████████████
Daring: 64% / Caution: 36%
████████████▒███████

Back in the day, Sidestep was known as a vigilante working with the Rangers.

Main Puppet
Name: Barbara
Puppet Status: She is fine, and has no serious wounds.
Description: A tall white woman in her twenties with blue eyes and long straight blond hair.

Allies and Enemies

Charge
Josie's Relationship with Ortega: Friend.
Ortega's Connection with Josie: 83% (+1)
████████████████▒███
Ortega thinks Anathema has made some good points.

To preempt any confusion: Ortega hasn't spontaneously changed her opinion of Anathema. Because Retribution handles relationship variables slightly differently from Rebirth, the same underlying game state can display differently once converted to the new system.​

Barbara's Relationship with Ortega: Flirting.
Ortega's Connection with Barbara: 59%
███████████▒████████

Dr. Mortum
Barbara's Relationship with Dr. Mortum: flirting.
Mortum's Connection with Barbara: 65%
████████████████████

Lady Argent
Josie's Relationship with Lady Argent: Distant.
Lady Argent's Impression of Josie: 1%
▒███████████████████
Lady Argent thinks Anathema is a cheater.

Marshal Steel
Josie's Relationship with Steel: Former ally.
Steel's Connection with Josie: 24%
████▒███████████████

Herald
Josie's Relationship with Herald: Distant.
Herald's Connection with Josie: 20%
████████████████████
Herald thinks Anathema is a villain.

Other Characters

 

Josie never wants to talk about us, so option A

 

Instead of talking about us, let's talk about someone who's definitely not us.​

> "You don't need to be the one to take them down, you know?"

"You don't need to be the one to take them down, you know?" You lower your voice. "There are other heroes out there, and you didn't do so well last time. I'm worried about you."

"You don't need to be." That's the smile you remember, bold, confident. But there are wrinkles around Ortega's eyes that deepen in the sun, and scars on her skin. Scars you know. New and old. Some, you put there.

"Yeah, I keep telling myself that." You don't want to sound as exasperated as you do, especially not since your sigh makes her look at you again. With that particular expression in her eyes.

"You've turned into such a mother hen." Teasing words, but the tone of her voice is soft, almost brittle. "You don't have to protect me."

"You don't get it," you sigh, burying your face in your hands. A moment of respite from the glaring sun. From looking at her. Because she doesn't get it. It's not about protecting. It's about destroying. Her. Everything she's worked for. Even yourself.

"You keep saying that." Ortega is serious now; you can hear it in her voice as she reaches out to touch your shoulder. "Then explain. Make me get it."

"Please." You remove her hand, and she pulls away, hurt. "Let's walk." You feel trapped; it's always easier to talk on the move.

You head down the promenade, flanked by Ortega. There are people here, not many in the merciless sunshine, but enough that you grab hold of the railing, swinging yourself over the edge. It's just a short drop down to the exposed stones of the shoreline below. The tide is out, leaving them slippery with algae, but you have no trouble keeping your balance.

Neither does Ortega.

She's always been good at keeping her balance. Both physically and emotionally. You're not sure the same goes for you. Not emotionally.

　‣ That's why I let Barbara break up with her.
　‣ Who will stumble first? Right now, I have no idea.

And instead of talking about our relationship with Ortega, let's talk about another completely separate person's! Is Barbie still being flirty as usual, or has she distanced herself from Ortega since Anathema's debut?​

Spoiler: Show Stats (no change)

CLASSIFIED

Subject: Anathema

Secret Identity: Josie Jacobs
Gender: Non-binary.
Description: A tall mixed person in their thirties with brown eyes and short and styled curly dark brown hair.

They have a short, scruffy beard and mustache.

Standard of Living: Josie is comfortable.

Josie Jacobs is a seasoned, tech-savvy tactician.

Physical Status
Stamina: You are rested.
Willpower: You feel calm.
Injuries: You are fine, with no significant wounds.

Telepathy
Strength of Mind: 50%
████████████████████
Subtle Manipulations: 74%
██████████████▒█████

Anathema
Infamy: 47% / Obscurity: 53%
█████████▒██████████

Armored Suit
Anathema's suit is a shadow with a mirror for a face, revealing nothing. The cape conceals and obfuscates what's underneath.
In its left hand, the suit has a neutered colony of nanovores, functionally similar to having disintegration touch. The suit is also equipped with telepathic boosters and enhanced speed as well as jump-jets.

Armor Status
Need Repair: 0% / Fine: 100%
████████████████████

Psychological Profile
Arrogance: 25% / Anonymity: 75%
████████████████████
Ruthlessness: 39% / Empathy: 61%
███████▒████████████
Daring: 64% / Caution: 36%
████████████▒███████

Back in the day, Sidestep was known as a vigilante working with the Rangers.

Main Puppet
Name: Barbara
Puppet Status: She is fine, and has no serious wounds.
Description: A tall white woman in her twenties with blue eyes and long straight blond hair.

Allies and Enemies

Charge
Josie's Relationship with Ortega: Friend.
Ortega's Connection with Josie: 83%
████████████████▒███
Ortega thinks Anathema has made some good points.

Barbara's Relationship with Ortega: Flirting.
Ortega's Connection with Barbara: 59%
███████████▒████████

Dr. Mortum
Barbara's Relationship with Dr. Mortum: flirting.
Mortum's Connection with Barbara: 65%
████████████████████

Lady Argent
Josie's Relationship with Lady Argent: Distant.
Lady Argent's Impression of Josie: 1%
▒███████████████████
Lady Argent thinks Anathema is a cheater.

Marshal Steel
Josie's Relationship with Steel: Former ally.
Steel's Connection with Josie: 24%
████▒███████████████

Herald
Josie's Relationship with Herald: Distant.
Herald's Connection with Josie: 20%
████████████████████
Herald thinks Anathema is a villain.

Other Characters

 

On the heels of narration wondering whether Ortega suspects, this is an intriguing part of the exchange. If she does suspect, she's simultaneously giving herself the "maybe there's a good reason" as well as the hero duty "but I have to stop it." If she doesn't suspect... Odd phrasings, and I wonder what else might be giving her pause.


I vote for who will stumble, because I think Barbie changing her relationship habits so abruptly at that timing could ping as a Changed Behavior / cause for suspicion thing.

 

clearly she just thinks anathema has made some good points, like our status screen says!

#anathemawasright

 

I missed that update in the screen! Delightful

 

> Who will stumble first? Right now, I have no idea.

Who will stumble first? Right now, you have no idea.

"I hope you don't plan to go swimming," Ortega says, balancing on a slimy rock. Her shoes are as expensive as her clothes, and if she steps wrong, they will probably be ruined. "Not sure about the water quality here."

"I don't swim," you lie, gingerly making your way toward the water, jumping from rock to rock. The shore smells of rotting seaweed, with an undertone of oil and rust. "I just wanted privacy."

"Not going to be much more private than this." Ortega follows despite the slippery terrain, picking the larger, drier stones, wind whipping at her hair and clothes. "Unless you count the seagulls."

There's a moment when you look at her, when she isn't looking at you. A moment when you can let your guard down. Think about what you really want.

　‣ I've already kissed her, there's no turning back now.
　‣ I want something more, and I'm willing to take a chance.
　‣ She's my friend; even after everything that's happened.
　‣ I will bury my crush; she can never know how I feel.
　‣ This is too complicated; I don't know what I'm going to do.
　‣ It's breaking my heart, but I need her to back off.
　‣ I need her to back off; what feelings I had are gone.
　‣ I need her to back off; we can't get too close.

So… do we intend to go on being friends with Ortega, despite everything? Or do we need to create some distance for both our sakes?

(I guess the obligatory "or do we feel the sudden need to complicate our love life" goes here, since FH is nothing if not committed to leaving those options open.)

Since it's not really clear in this context: "This is too complicated" here means "I have non-platonic feelings about which I refuse to communicate like an adult."​

Spoiler: Show Stats (no change)

CLASSIFIED

Subject: Anathema

Secret Identity: Josie Jacobs
Gender: Non-binary.
Description: A tall mixed person in their thirties with brown eyes and short and styled curly dark brown hair.

They have a short, scruffy beard and mustache.

Standard of Living: Josie is comfortable.

Josie Jacobs is a seasoned, tech-savvy tactician.

Physical Status
Stamina: You are rested.
Willpower: You feel calm.
Injuries: You are fine, with no significant wounds.

Telepathy
Strength of Mind: 50%
████████████████████
Subtle Manipulations: 74%
██████████████▒█████

Anathema
Infamy: 47% / Obscurity: 53%
█████████▒██████████

Armored Suit
Anathema's suit is a shadow with a mirror for a face, revealing nothing. The cape conceals and obfuscates what's underneath.
In its left hand, the suit has a neutered colony of nanovores, functionally similar to having disintegration touch. The suit is also equipped with telepathic boosters and enhanced speed as well as jump-jets.

Armor Status
Need Repair: 0% / Fine: 100%
████████████████████

Psychological Profile
Arrogance: 25% / Anonymity: 75%
████████████████████
Ruthlessness: 39% / Empathy: 61%
███████▒████████████
Daring: 64% / Caution: 36%
████████████▒███████

Back in the day, Sidestep was known as a vigilante working with the Rangers.

Main Puppet
Name: Barbara
Puppet Status: She is fine, and has no serious wounds.
Description: A tall white woman in her twenties with blue eyes and long straight blond hair.

Allies and Enemies

Charge
Josie's Relationship with Ortega: Friend.
Ortega's Connection with Josie: 83%
████████████████▒███
Ortega thinks Anathema has made some good points.

Barbara's Relationship with Ortega: Flirting.
Ortega's Connection with Barbara: 59%
███████████▒████████

Dr. Mortum
Barbara's Relationship with Dr. Mortum: flirting.
Mortum's Connection with Barbara: 65%
████████████████████

Lady Argent
Josie's Relationship with Lady Argent: Distant.
Lady Argent's Impression of Josie: 1%
▒███████████████████
Lady Argent thinks Anathema is a cheater.

Marshal Steel
Josie's Relationship with Steel: Former ally.
Steel's Connection with Josie: 24%
████▒███████████████

Herald
Josie's Relationship with Herald: Distant.
Herald's Connection with Josie: 20%
████████████████████
Herald thinks Anathema is a villain.

Other Characters

 

Nudging this just in case people didn't see the last update. (Obviously if people are just busy, then pay me no mind.)

 

Friendship!

 

> She's my friend; even after everything that's happened.

"Just don't feed them; we'll never get rid of them." The realization that you're smiling comes too late; now Ortega is smiling too, making everything better. It's a pretty lie, you know that. A smile can't change the world. Can't change you.

But it feels good.

"A bit like when you save someone's life, I suppose." Ortega waves her arm, and the seagulls take flight. "Though some run anyway."

"I had my reasons for running," you point out. "And no, you don't get to know all of them. Not yet."

"Sometimes, I wonder if you really do read my mind."

"I've been a bit of an idiot." You can't help the smile because, in a way, it's true. "It's been so long I've almost forgotten what it's like to have friends."

"I know you've been through a lot." The words are hesitant as if she's remembering your shared past.

"We both have." You don't want her pity.

"And I have probably been pushing too hard—"

"Just a little. But maybe I need a push now and then."

"Friends then?"

"Friends," you nod.

There is a long pause, and then finally, Ortega hops over to you and wraps you in the biggest, tightest hug. Warm. Familiar. You let out a breath you weren't even aware you had been holding.

It feels far too nice to be safe.

​

> Here We Go Again

Los Diablos. Two months since the attack on the museum.

You have a reputation now, or rather, Anathema does. You've gotten comfortable with the armor, with the mannerisms, with the many ways in which your new mask differs from who you were as Sidestep.

In a way, becoming a villain has felt like coming home. Back when you started, you wanted revenge on the people that had ruined your life. It was an easy target, a way to get back at your nightmares, even if you weren't sure how you were ever going to pull it off.

That didn't matter. The warm feeling in your gut when you thought about making them pay did.

Something to keep you focused. Keep you alive even when you want to stop.

You need that. The focus.

Maybe it's not healthy investing so much of yourself in something, but you're still here, so you must be doing something right.

Life never turns out the way you expect it to, but at least you're alive. And yourself.

Closer to how you see yourself, and not how they saw you.

　‣ I don't want to think about that.
　‣ They told me I was female.
　‣ They told me I was male.
　POLL

…Ah. Right. Back when we were expected to remember what a gender was.

(AGAB is referenced on the rare occasion that it's relevant to backstory/gender feelings/sex scenes; if not specified, the text will sidestep the issue entirely.)

While we're at it, let's also get gender presentation out of the way:​

You're not sure if you're done changing, but right now you are mostly presenting as…

　‣ Masculine.
　‣ Feminine.
　‣ Androgynous.
　‣ It varies.
　POLL

To clarify, the question here is whether Josie can post their nipples on Tumblr presents in a way that gets them read as male/female/??? by your average stranger. (Save opinions on how gendered their personal #aesthetic is for later.)

Feel free to vote in the polls or here in the thread; just let me know if you do both.​

Spoiler: Show Stats

CLASSIFIED

Subject: Anathema

Secret Identity: Josie Jacobs
Gender: Non-binary.
Description: A tall mixed person in their thirties with brown eyes and short and styled curly dark brown hair.

They have a short, scruffy beard and mustache.

Standard of Living: Josie is comfortable.

Josie Jacobs is a seasoned, tech-savvy tactician.

Physical Status
Stamina: You are rested.
Willpower: You feel calm.
Injuries: You are fine, with no significant wounds.

Telepathy
Strength of Mind: 50%
████████████████████
Subtle Manipulations: 74%
██████████████▒█████

Anathema
Infamy: 47% / Obscurity: 53%
█████████▒██████████

Armored Suit
Anathema's suit is a shadow with a mirror for a face, revealing nothing. The cape conceals and obfuscates what's underneath.
In its left hand, the suit has a neutered colony of nanovores, functionally similar to having disintegration touch. The suit is also equipped with telepathic boosters and enhanced speed as well as jump-jets.

Armor Status
Need Repair: 0% / Fine: 100%
████████████████████

Psychological Profile
Arrogance: 25% / Anonymity: 75%
████████████████████
Ruthlessness: 39% / Empathy: 61%
███████▒████████████
Daring: 64% / Caution: 36%
████████████▒███████

Back in the day, Sidestep was known as a vigilante working with the Rangers.

Main Puppet
Name: Barbara
Puppet Status: She is fine, and has no serious wounds.
Description: A tall white woman in her twenties with blue eyes and long straight blond hair.

Allies and Enemies

Charge
Josie's Relationship with Ortega: Friend and ally.
Ortega's Connection with Josie: 83%
████████████████▒███
Ortega thinks Anathema has made some good points.

Barbara's Relationship with Ortega: Flirting.
Ortega's Connection with Barbara: 59%
███████████▒████████

Dr. Mortum
Barbara's Relationship with Dr. Mortum: flirting.
Mortum's Connection with Barbara: 65%
████████████████████

Lady Argent
Josie's Relationship with Lady Argent: Distant.
Lady Argent's Impression of Josie: 1%
▒███████████████████
Lady Argent thinks Anathema is a cheater.

Marshal Steel
Josie's Relationship with Steel: Former ally.
Steel's Connection with Josie: 24%
████▒███████████████

Herald
Josie's Relationship with Herald: Distant.
Herald's Connection with Josie: 20%
████████████████████
Herald thinks Anathema is a villain.

Other Characters

 

I love everyone in this thread.

- If anyone's been lurking without voting, this is your opportunity to tiebreak.
- If any voters have a preference for what their second choice would be, let me know and I'll consider those as well. (Or I guess edit your vote, if that feature works? I've never tried it.)
- If people would like to discuss their Takes on Josie's gender and try to reach a consensus, now is a good time to do that!
- Or if you'd prefer I just roll a d3 to tiebreak, let me know.

 

Even when we can't see the results, we do the thing :P

 

It's honestly inspiring.

 

The vote is tiebroken! As far as any past gendering Josie may have been subject to, survey says:​

> I don't want to think about that.

You've left that life behind, and you'd rather not remember everything they told you. The orders. The instructions. You are the only one who gets to define yourself.

Nobody else.

It's a feeling of power that you don't think you'll ever get used to. The power of picking your clothes. Cutting your hair. Wearing makeup or not.

Freedom.

You're not sure if you're done changing, but right now you are mostly presenting as…

And as for the present day:​

> It varies.

Gender is a construct. Or perhaps the truth is that you are. You've remade yourself from the ground up, and while you can't say that your life has turned out the way you planned it, your body is starting to.

　‣ At least after I started hormones.
　‣ With a little help from the knife.
　‣ It's been a long journey.

Last question before we return to ignoring gender is whether Josie's backstory includes medical transition. This is purely a flavor choice, with the slight exception of surgery (which would require Josie to have been willing to involve a surgeon).

For simplicity's sake, I'm going to skip the poll and just ask for a yes/no/shrug on each of HRT and surgery.​

Spoiler: Show Stats (no change)

CLASSIFIED

Subject: Anathema

Secret Identity: Josie Jacobs
Gender: Non-binary.
Description: A tall mixed person in their thirties with brown eyes and short and styled curly dark brown hair.

They have a short, scruffy beard and mustache.

Standard of Living: Josie is comfortable.

Josie Jacobs is a seasoned, tech-savvy tactician.

Physical Status
Stamina: You are rested.
Willpower: You feel calm.
Injuries: You are fine, with no significant wounds.

Telepathy
Strength of Mind: 50%
████████████████████
Subtle Manipulations: 74%
██████████████▒█████

Anathema
Infamy: 47% / Obscurity: 53%
█████████▒██████████

Armored Suit
Anathema's suit is a shadow with a mirror for a face, revealing nothing. The cape conceals and obfuscates what's underneath.
In its left hand, the suit has a neutered colony of nanovores, functionally similar to having disintegration touch. The suit is also equipped with telepathic boosters and enhanced speed as well as jump-jets.

Armor Status
Need Repair: 0% / Fine: 100%
████████████████████

Psychological Profile
Arrogance: 25% / Anonymity: 75%
████████████████████
Ruthlessness: 39% / Empathy: 61%
███████▒████████████
Daring: 64% / Caution: 36%
████████████▒███████

Back in the day, Sidestep was known as a vigilante working with the Rangers.

Main Puppet
Name: Barbara
Puppet Status: She is fine, and has no serious wounds.
Description: A tall white woman in her twenties with blue eyes and long straight blond hair.

Allies and Enemies

Charge
Josie's Relationship with Ortega: Friend and ally.
Ortega's Connection with Josie: 83%
████████████████▒███
Ortega thinks Anathema has made some good points.

Barbara's Relationship with Ortega: Flirting.
Ortega's Connection with Barbara: 59%
███████████▒████████

Dr. Mortum
Barbara's Relationship with Dr. Mortum: flirting.
Mortum's Connection with Barbara: 65%
████████████████████

Lady Argent
Josie's Relationship with Lady Argent: Distant.
Lady Argent's Impression of Josie: 1%
▒███████████████████
Lady Argent thinks Anathema is a cheater.

Marshal Steel
Josie's Relationship with Steel: Former ally.
Steel's Connection with Josie: 24%
████▒███████████████

Herald
Josie's Relationship with Herald: Distant.
Herald's Connection with Josie: 20%
████████████████████
Herald thinks Anathema is a villain.

Other Characters

 

I don't think Josie would ever trust someone else to have them knocked out for surgery, but I could see them mind controlling a pharmacist for free HRT.