Possible cw: suicide? I'm hoping that's not what they were talking about, but it's what I'm worried about. EDIT: I made this post when I was panicking. I'm leaving it up for context, but see the next post down for a calmer assessment. I just had a conversation with my best friend (on the other side of the city, so it's hard to go see them in person) which included the phrases "I just don't know why I'm alive or why I should care" and "If I haven't contacted you by the end of the day please pester me [...] I don't think I'll do anything too stupid, but I've been wrong about myself before." I'm hoping I'm overreacting right now - I don't actually think they'll do anything today, but they're really not in a good place right now (dysphoria, major school issues, family problems, pre-existing anxiety and sounds like depression - I know they've been to a counsellor in the past, but I don't know if or how often they're currently seeing one, or if they've said anything about the dysphoria to anyone but me). I'm pretty sure I'm their primary emotional support, and I don't actually know if there's anyone else they can talk to about all of the issues. And I just. I'm not in a good place right now? I mean, if you look at it one way, I'm doing great - my grades are high, I just got funding to work in my professor's lab on a project I was mostly responsible for designing and I already know I like working with her, I'm still living at home and I get on great with my family so I don't have to worry about a lot of the things other students are worried about. On the other hand, my grandmother is dying (like, less than a couple months left probably, she's gone from mostly mobile to one-and-a-half arms working and in a wheelchair in the past four months), my two-years-younger brother just moved out and I'm still living at home, I'm about to start trying to juggle work and class when I've never had to do that at the same time before, my allergies kicked in worse than I've ever had them which means I'm not getting as much sleep, and my professors are giving less instruction this year, which means there's already more staring at the assignment sheet trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do. And I've never dealt well with change. I thought I was doing okay, but I can't concentrate (normally a problem closer to exams and midterms, not this early in the year) and my anxiety issues are coming back. Before the texting, I was planning to finish an assignment due tomorrow. After I stopped I milled around tumblr for about 20m and then went to cry on my dad for a while. I'm pretty good at not thinking about worrying things I can't do anything about, but that doesn't make me stop worrying. My friend's hurting and I can't fix it, and I don't know if I have the resources to keep helping. and I'm scared they're going to do "something stupid" if I can't help. I know I need to think about myself first, but I don't want to stop supporting them. Does anyone have advice for balancing this?
Okay. So, I probably was overreacting earlier. At least over text, they seem a lot better now then they were earlier today. I'm still worried about them, but not as much as I was before. I think the previously mentioned anxiety and that fact that I have a lot on my mind recently kind of hit me all at once. I've been having some really bad *days*, but my mental health is good or okay at least five or six days a week, and I can start scheduling appointments for myself again with the counselor, who I already know and has helped in the past. I'd still like advice on how I can help, because even though I don't currently think they're likely to commit suicide, they're still in a bad place, and I'm not always in a good place to help them. I'm editing the title of the thread to more accurately reflect the situation.
