I want to do everything. And I do, do everything. I write novellas, I design video games, I write and draw comics. I'm studying computer science with an eye toward going into network security. I'm learning how to sing, how to play piano, violin, jaw harp. I like picking up skills I don't already have, and I like creating things that have the potential to affect people. I'm able to organise my focus to the point where I can work on one thing in each of these categories -- I can limit myself to writing one novella at a time or working on one video game. But, it seems like, to become successful in any given field, you have to devote yourself to that field, and maybe move on to something new when you master or grow tired of the first one. And that one I just can't manage. Try as I might, I can't control what means of production has caught my interest -- if I try to limit myself, I get depressed and stop producing at all. Give up and stop being. "Is it really so bad to die in obscurity?" I just need to work on what I'm interested in at the time, and in a week or two I will be interested in something else and I'll start working on that. Relatedly, I have a lot of trouble motivating myself if I don't have some kind of audience I can give the thing to, and get an immediate dose of affirmation. I had a small but loyal fanbase a while back, and as a result I was putting out comics and stories on the daily. But that fanbase didn't follow me when the forum I was posting on went under, so now I have to rebuild an audience and it's just not happening. And a huge part of that is my inability to put out content regularly given the lack of people to show it off to, in addition to the inability to put out content regularly because I regularly switch gears and start working on a different kind of content. (To say nothing of how switching back and forth between projects can really throw a wrench in flow.) And I'm told, indirectly, by like, the universe and stuff, that I have to pick one field to work (and play) in, that I need to devote my life to one thing. I'm told that I need to do what I'm passionate about (and of course I can only be passionate about one thing (nevermind that I'm actually not passionate about anything, but that's an entirely different kettle of fish (or maybe the same kettle, but I think we've already got enough fish on our hands, let's leave some to stew for a while (parenthum!))). So I'm left thinking that maybe, not only should I not be "wasting time" on some of these things I'm do, but maybe I shouldn't be "wasting time" on any of them at all. I don't know, I'm a frustrated creator and I'm worried that my lack of focus re medium is hindering me. But I also can't figure out how to work past or around that. Kind of rambly, so it's appreciated if anyone even bothers to read through this mess, but any advice on any of the someodd topics I covered would be extra appreciated.
dude, are you me? i have a lot of these problems, too (and these interests, actually), though i am far less productive than you seem to be. i have no solutions, but i would offer you a solidarity fistbump because this shit is mad frustrating. *bunp* (edit: wth the draft saved really wrong. thanks internet problems.)
Depends on your definition of success, surely. Do you have a goal in mind? Because if your goal is just "create", then I'm not sure I understand the problem with flipping from one interest to another. (I can see this doesn't help with feeling unmotivated.) /unhelpful
I'm using "successful" here as measured by having an audience or fanbase. My motivation level is directly related to how easy it is for me to throw something into the world and have people look at it and tell me I done good. It's very difficult for me to finish anything without anyone watching -- I can't get over the "what's the point? No one will see it anyway" blues. My goal isn't just "create", it's the above, and also "touch people with my creations". No one to touch? Sad oph. (Um, in a purely consentual artist/audience relationship, of course.) (I just woke up, so I might sound annoyed or angry, or have some other tone that implies I am not appreciative of @EulersBidentity's comment. This is not the case.)
