I don't know if my brain is weird ("black and white thinking") or I just tend to meet strange people, but I'm so very frustrated by just not understanding wtf is going on here. How can someone believe and not believe something? I once started a thread about the girl who thinks that karma comes and goes around and in the same time believes that activism is worthy to do (my objecton was that ic group X has id coming, then helping them with Y would only raise the level of Z). I have got, on that thread, a lot of explanations of how in certain threads of buddhism, it actually makes sense; but as far as I understood, she used this belief to serve justice to an abuser of her who died without a satisfying ending to their story, and she thinks about the rest of the world not really using this belief. YEsterday I have been to a work-in-progress theatre/performance thingie, made of episodes by cis queer people. One episode was reading what trans people said about their childhood and how shitty it is to buy hormones on the black market, on the internet, because in this second world country they have no alternatives. An other episode was them asking for audience members' illnesses/problems, and serving back pretend-personalized "you must accept yourself! think positively! leave fear behind! the universe loves you!" kind of things, supposedly to heal the problems, which the audience had to repeat in a choir. I asked them if they feel any contradiction between the "fact" that the body can be modified by nice thoughts, yet those losers are still risking their health with hormones of dubious origins... and they didn't really feel a connection, I mean, whatever, thinking nice is always important, y'know? And then I had a discussion with an other girl who believes that the universe actually takes care of you, see, for example she ended up with a lot of scholarships and money from projects that weren't sure to pay just when she decided to go to the Camino, which costs a lot! And I asked that if the universe takes care of you, what about those losers the universe shows no sign of caring for, but no answer came. Do the homeless etc. deserve what they live bc they don't think positively enough? Nah, you're overthinking it. Does the state of the economy even influence our lives, or you actually believe that if you follow your dreams, the universe will make it okay, whatever your dream is? She does believe that. And what about those who die on the street? No, you don't understand, it isn't like as if I would believe in the consequences of something too, just because I believe in something! I am at the level where I managed to make a break before it escalated even more, and there seems to be a viable bit of this acquittanceship salvaged, but my brain still boils. am I a little blind to societal conventions., half-lies and metaphors? or just unlucky?
It's not you, it's that most people don't have what Ozy calls the not geek not autism thing. Taking ideas deadly seriously and to their logical conclusions even, and especially, if the logical conclusions seem insane is pretty rare. Most people compartmentalize a lot of their knowledge, and/or get really good at lying to themselves, because it simply isn't *important* to them to be right in the same way it might be important to our type of people.
thanks. and the sad thing is that I know where my need to be RighT comes, and it is not necessarily a good thing. But controlling it is hard. For example, there are many smart people around me (plus statistics) that say that meditating/yoga is good for you, if you can manage to not get mad at the spiritual stuff, and those smart people I mentioned are just putting little footnotes in their head to what they hear, like "*metaphorically" "*a symbolic expression of experimental knowledge the inventors had no way to know the actual mechanism of" ... and they manage to get a lot out of it. (non-spiritual yoga/meditation teachers exist, but are hard to find around here.) I'd like to try it, but I know that, at my actual level of personal development, I'd spend the whole session trying to not blow up. :/
If you can't do meditation because of dumb spiritual stuff, you may want to try doing it to music rather than to a tape. Yoga isn't the only type of exercise that would benefit you! You could try Pilates, which at least tries to be scientific, or look up "bodyweight exercises" and build your own exercise routine. Or, really, any exercise helps! Even going out for a half-hour walk every other day is enough to get a decent fraction of the theoretical benefits of "aerobic exercise"; you don't have to hit diminishing returns to get benefit.
Thanks, I do some movement for health, but doing calming stuff it in a group would be good, because then I'd be much more succesful in forcing myself to do it. Alone with an mp3, I'd procastinate indefinitely. (But yeah, pilates is probably what I will end up doing in the autumn, if I'll have enough money... too bad mindfulness meditation (guaranteed non-spiritual) isn't being done in my city, in groups.)
