I looked through a bipolar test a while back when I was dong research for writing Sollux anddd I freaked out a little cause it sounded like me? Like I could relate to every point on the list to a greater or lesser extent. The only problem is I don't think I've ever had a manic episode. And then there's the fact that I'm speculating about all of this without any therapy, and that would raise my suspects list to depression, ADD, autism and bipolar disorder. I need to make a plan to go get therapy. Which means doctors. Which I don't wanna go get because Trans. Ugh.
Hypomania is also a thing! And also worrying - usually it's gonna be feeling like you need very little sleep, maybe being intensely creative, possibly more irritable than usual, impulse spending, stuff like that. And doctors and therapy are a good idea - for everyone, generally. But if everything feels overwhelming because of depression, one thing that I took advantage of is that regular medical doctors can prescribe antidepressants. If you're concerned that you're also showing bipolar symptoms, you can also tell them that, or just tell them that you want to avoid SSRIs. Because you want to avoid SSRIs if there's a chance: they fuck with people with bipolar but good. Like, my mom went to the ER three times in two weeks when they tried her on them. But my doctor was super accommodating when I said I was concerned, and other steps become way easier to tackle once one is not buried under depression.
The thing is I've got the off/on iritability and sudden bursts of creativity I could never get ahead of, I don't usually have trouble sleeping unless I'm unusually stressed and while I get impulses to spend rashly I don't have a lot of money to begin with, so I generally tap down on those I think? Thanks for the advice, that's good to know and also really reassuring. Of course I could just tell them I suspect that, but until someone tells me otherwise my brain's like "no you can't do anything about it there's no options YOU GONNA DIE." So thanks for laying it out like that, I'll bring up my worries and the medication when I get there. Also I don't have a GP cause I just aged out of pediatric care but I'm not sure you can help me with that, I just need to go looking myself.
