So, I'm in physical therapy school, and I love it, and it's great, EXCEPT we're constantly being evaluated on our non-verbal communication. The logic behind it is good; people need to trust their health-care professionals, so we need to act confident and otherwise trust-worthy. And. I bond with people. I do. People connect with me once they get to know me. People can tell that I care deeply about their lives and well-being. I know this. I have seen it happen, with patients, with peers, with people I work with. And yet. I am awkward. I fidget. It takes me a little while to warm up. I have pretty severe anxiety, especially in practical exams when I'm being tested on my patient communication, and my face is ... very expressive, but not usually of what I mean to express. If people see something in my face, I usually have to clarify what I was actually feeling, and I do that! I am so careful to do that! I am so careful to actually listen when people talk about what they want, to actually consider their well-being on a complex level, but apparently that isn't what matter, because "first impressions are important." I don't know if I can stand trying to balance this. I don't know if being a PT is worth this. I love the work. I love the patients. But oh my god, the pressure to fake being normal is just too goddamn much.
Do you have a consistent group of examiners? If so, it might be worth talking with them outside of class about how you establish rapport long-term but are worried about your neurodivergences being held against you in exam settings. Usually educators want to help.
