I'm not sure whether this should go here or in the general advise thread, but it mainly involves my mental health, so, here goes: My depression has caused me to fail out of college multiple times because I'll lapse into an episode in the middle of the semester, be too depressed to tell anyone I'm relapsing, and not come out from under my bed until the the semester ends. I'm pretty sure my meds weren't as strong as they should have been to start with, because the dosage has kept increasing over the years, and while I've gotten better at being functional, I don't know if I'm all the way there yet? History: I've been depressed since middleschool, only barely graduated highschool, and didn't get actually diagnosed with depression until that first year of college. What is life like with motivation, I just don't remember Dad doesn't believe mental illnesses are real and thinks 'crazies' need to stfu, to give you an idea of what my knowledge of mental health was until fairly recently Both Mom and Dad INSIST that I graduate college So on the 14th I'm going to either my fourth or my fifth attempt at college! And I'm trying to be optimistic, but I am also sort of. Laughing hysterically and just waiting for the worst to happen. Because I do not have a good track record so far. For Pros, I am better medicated than I have ever been before (I willingly get out of bed! I didn't have to be shouted into completing the paperwork the night before the deadline! What is this nonsense), I'm going into a Major I actually like (All previous attempts had been math-based, because those jobs pay the best, despite the fact I hate math with the passion of a thousand burning suns), and I got an year off to recover from my last attempt, so I think my mental reserves are pretty good? Cons of the situation, I was a 'gifted' child and never learned how to study, have a pretty firmly ingrained stress=procrastination response, and the last handful of times I attempted to get a degree I ended up suicidal and miserable out of my mind, and I'm afraid the mental association alone is going to set me back. I think I'm doing everything I can to succeed but ???? Who knows, the last-minute panic hasn't hit me yet. Any advise? Commiseration and stories of anyone else's shitty school experiences also welcome, I need company in my Unable To School corner
hmm maybe contact mental health/student services at the beginning of the semester, before anything has time to go south? like, you can contact people involved with the mental health/student services and make them aware that you have a history of bad depressive episodes, and you usually have an episode in the middle of the semester, and that midigating it/preventing it/getting yourself out of it is a thing you are going to need help with. then hopefully if you do start to have a depressive episode people with skills will already be aware you need help, and hopefully they will notice and intervene even if you get too depressed to seek it out? like if help is already set up before the depression hits, then hopefully said help will be able to actually help.
IIIIIIIiiiiiiiii am not sure how helpful that would be? Maybe I am misinformed about the quality/commitment of student services. I will go look in to that tho! Thank you
shrug. i dunno, due to health and stuff i had to take a break from school so i might he out of touch. idk. but if the issue is that once you're in a depressive episode you can't ask for help.. then maybe asking for help before said episode as a pre-emptive measure is worth a shot? i dunno
Try to set up some regular appointments with someone either in your school services or nearby by mid-semester. That way if you start struggling, you've got help set up already.
All the universities I've been to have actually had surprisingly good counseling services. I'm currently in a therapy group that meets once a week for 1 1/2 hours, and it seems like something like that might be useful for you? You'd have outside support which might help prevent things from getting bad, and then also a way to get help if things start getting bad. I know the whole group therapy thing can be really intimidating, but it's really not bad at all.
Letting your advisor know might help? Just, 'hey, I suffer pretty badly from depression. I am currently working on it, but here's a heads up' sort of thing. My advisor was pretty put out that I never told her about my depression and then flunked out two semesters in. Also, going-back-to-college-after-depression-based-dropouts solidarity fistbump!
