You've gone through a lot! I'd be hurt, too, if I went through a major surgery and my easily accessible family just... didn't bother to see me, when they took pains to see my other sibling. He was in a bad way, but so were you! Appendicitis is fucking serious. Maybe try something nonconfrontational but gently and politely suggestive like, "I would have liked seeing you when I was in the hospital. It was frightening and being with family, even over the phone, would have helped a lot. Could we spend some time together now, instead? It would be really comforting for me." If you wife is amenable, you could change the phrasing to "[Wife] and I" where appropriate so they don't try to pull the "Well, you WIFE was there" dodge.
