I was remembering this time in Jordan when my neighbours were firing off a lot of fireworks right next to my room and I asked them to go do it somewhere else. But they actually escalated it, some fireworks hit my window and I think it was intentional. And I had been in a few rocket attacks, so I freaked the fuck out and it took me hours to calm down. So I never asked anyone to be quiet again, I just suffered it. I didn't think I had PTSD, but someone on Tumblr mentioned being bothered by fireworks, and I told this story, and just remembering it made me really shaky and made everything seem very far away. It's been like twenty minutes, and it hasn't gone away. Does that sound like PTSD to anyone? (I hope this is the right board for this thread).
I've looked at the criteria for PTSD a number of times over the years, but I just can't tell. I don't think I have flashbacks, like I don't ever see images.
A lot of people with PTSD don't see images, actually. How about you see if you can recognize any of this? (I wouldn't TW that link but I will note that descriptions of what it feels like from the inside can be pretty unsettling.)
i'm a little late to the party, but this certainly sounds like some sort of traumatic stress reaction, whether it falls under the category of ptsd or not. as for what you were experiencing at the time of creating this thread, it sounds like a textbook example of a dissociative episode, which may or may not be indicative of a greater ptsd-related pathology (but is very often considered to be symptom of ptsd under certain circumstances). you say that you have been in "a few rocket attacks" (from a clinical standpoint i think that the linguistic minimization of the fact/lack of extrapolation given the context might be indicative of some degree of trauma avoidance, but there isn't enough data for me to really make an assessment like that) which would certainly be cause enough for ptsd--but it's also important to note that not all survivors of trauma develop ptsd, and it depends on the innate temperaments, previous experiences, and post-trauma support systems of the individual. also, Vacuum Energy is right; flashbacks don't have to involve images at all. they're an especially malignant form of involuntary memory, which can involve any of the "five senses", in any combination or no combination at all. in my experience auditory flashbacks seem to be the most common across the board with trauma survivors, with certain sensory combinations or reactions varying depending on the type of trauma (fyi, the kind that you're describing would probably be classed as either combat or disaster, depending on the extenuating circumstances). they also vary in severity, from full-blown psychosis to something more peripheral, which still allows for some degree of ostensibly normal functioning during the fact. also, flashbacks are not the only symptom of ptsd by a long shot, merely the most commonly recognized one in the media. (also, have you sought professional help of any sort? i understand that not everyone has the means or the ability to do so, but if you can it might be a worthwhile investment, not to mention you would be able to get a more definitive diagnosis if that's something important to you, not to mention the more longterm benefits of having someone like that to help you work through your shit). again, i don't know you personally, so a lot of this is just using my clinical knowledge to take some swings in the dark but, i mean, let me know if any of it pings on your radar!
