If you've sent someone a message, and it hasn't been marked as "seen" several days later (but you know the person has been online), should you: -Assume they genuinely didn't see your message, and send another next time they're online to try to get their attention -Assume they are too busy to use fb actively/talk to you, and leave them alone -Assume they are ignoring you on purpose because they don't like you anymore, and you should leave them alone (this was the correct one the last time this happened, but this person still answers me sometimes, so the situation might be different this time) -Ask them about it directly (I sorta wanna do this, but I'm worried that might fuck our friendship up completely) (This is all about a specific friend, whom I mostly have contact with on fb. We meet at conventions sometimes, but the last time we were both at the same one, I was so worried they didn't like me anymore that I barely talked to them, and now I think that they think i'm the one who's trying to end the friendship, except vagueblogging on tumblr can be about anyone, and augh) (please help me)
There is generally a rule of three that is good to use. Reach out three times and if you do not get a positive reply or a reply at all, then stop. Also talking less to someone on a meeting than you did before is something that can make people think you are not so interested in talking to them, sometimes. Asking directly will not fuck it up if it's a friendship. If they are uncomfortable, asking directly simply means you will find this out sooner than later. I don't have enough information to honestly guess what their reasons might be, honestly. Often in my case it turns out they were busy/did not see it, and I am fine with that.
For practical purposes right here and now I'd second @hoarmuth's advice. Spoiler: Anxiety/scrupulosity-triggering metathoughts about Facebook's social rules; OP shouldn't read this Part of the problem here, though, is that Facebook doesn't have fully-worked-out social rules yet, not even by NT standards. Some people think it's okay to share Facebook-game stuff all over their feed. Some people think it's okay to share politics over their feed. Some people think it's okay to post pictures of literally everything they put in their mouth. Some people will bury you in pictures of kids. And of course, given only text, pretty much everyone will misread everyone else's tone. The resulting arguments will end up blowing up all over your RL social commitments. It's a perfect, inevitable storm of suckage. I mostly don't use Facebook because it's creepy and wants to use all your personal information for advertisements and stuff. But this is a contributing factor too.
I asked. He wasn't doing it on purpose, and he apologized, which I feel weird about (the fact that I get anxious and blow stuff like this out of proportion is my fault, not his), but he doesn't hate me, so everything is fine Thank you again for your advice, it really helped
Yay! :) I am glad it did. Often we assign people motivations that are pretty much in our own heads. Which is legit, but it is better to believe in human error rather than true dislike.
