Well, a little more complicated than that... School has several housing options. Next year is my last year, so I'm more likely to get the housing I request. For two years, I've lived in a common-room-with-bedrooms-off-of-that through a special living program for women in the sciences. (Given that I am at least genderfluid, this might be unethical? But I'm at least serving as an advocate, and I'm also not out as not-woman so...) One of my friends, who is a year younger than me, asked me whether I would be interested in living together. Unfortunately, I've been really busy, so my answer was "Yes, but I can't deal with planning right now." I now have three days to bail out the ship or bail out. Options: 1. Go through with original vague promise, and live with friend, one or two of her friends and my acquaintances, and at least two people neither of us directly know. 2. Apply to the special program again, and probably get placed in the same room, a room in which I am very happy, and with people I probably won't know but are basically guaranteed to be nice. 3. Get a single in a conveniently conventional dorm, which means the executive function to get to class/the gym/meals/etc. is lower If not 1, then have to help friend set up alternate stuff, since I want to stay friends with her. If not 2, I need to be sure, because that one has the earliest application deadline. If not 3, conflicts with suitemates and my executive function problems could make me miserable. Advice??!?
Personally, I'm a huge fan of singles. But I'm an even bigger fan of living with other people and having my own space. Ex I lived in an apartment for 3 people, 1 single, 1 double. When I got the single it was really nice because I could go in the living room and spend time with everyone or I could go hide in my room as needed. I'm an extrovert at heart tho, and I need people around some of them, so ymmv. .... Idk if this helps at all, but my two cents
I'd say go with the option you know is safe, honestly. Strangers in living space (#1) is especially bad for me personally.
Same. Also #1 seems as if it has the most amount of people and I find it's generally better to live with as few people as possible :)
I am not a fan of #1, primarily because I have a lot of issues with paranoia and anxiety, but I suspect even without them my time at college would have been stressful enough without having both that mount of people and that amount of possible unknowns. #2 is appealing to me because I am very fond of familiarity. You say not choosing #3 is potentially a problem for executive function, but if #2 is the situation you have been in previously and you were able to handle it well, what is it that makes you think your function will lower this time around in the same environment?
1 sounds like a recipe for suffering. If 3 would make you happiest and doesn't have really terrible drawbacks, go with that. Like, I hate living actually alone (the one time I did I was not only the only person in my 2-bedroom apartment, but the apartments on either side were empty, too), but you're not super alone in the dorms no matter where you are.
Pssst, I'd also say that this isn't unethical. You might not be a woman, or at least not a woman all the time, but you ARE an afab person in the sciences and that's a lot of what those kinds of programs are trying to promote.
Followup: Thanks everyone! I think you guys helped me make the real choice. I ended up deciding to stay in the Women's Science Housing - it turns out a few of my friends from this year will probably end up in the same suite, so that'll be nice, and I already know what to expect. The friend I originally attempted to room with has been really nice and understanding, especially since she now has a better idea of how to go about things for her senior year. (Basically: NOT like this) Looks like all's well that ends well!
