I have a tendency to latch onto emotions far past their Best-Before Date. For instance: 1. I do Something Wrong and Hurt Someone. (for argument's sake, let's take both immediate branches - A) what I did was Actually Objectively Incorrect, and I am at fault, and B) what I did was not so much Objectively Incorrect, but rather Was Not What the Person Wanted.) 2. the Someone gets angry with me. 3. I am hurt. (for good reason, or no, as discussed in 1.) Situation A tends to be easier for me to deal with - I can process that I screwed up, and apologize and come to terms with it. I will accept that my hurt feelings are, for all intents and purposes, rightfully hurt. Brain chemicals percolate, I move on. Situation B is where my brain hiccups. In this situation, I have Hurt Someone, but I also feel that it was Not My Fault, and I couldn't have known any different. Therefore, I have "you are a bad person because you hurt someone" as well as "they're being silly, you couldn't have known that was how they'd react" running around in my head. I feel angry that the person is angry with me for something that I see as being beyond my control, as well as ashamed that I screwed up, and furthermore I am angry that that I feel ashamed because I don't think I actually did anything Wrong. I know that the person I hurt will move on. That is not a problem. (whether or not my brain will believe that is another issue.) The problem is that I will continue to feel all these negative emotions for a significant amount of time - probably at least a day or two, depending on how effective my antidepressants are being at the time. This gets in the way of me wanting to talk to anyone, but particularly the person I hurt, because I will be afraid that they will still be angry with me, or that I will mis-step again and cause the whole process to repeat. I've tried writing out the anger and frustration. I've tried talking it through to myself. I've tried listening to music. I don't really feel like I can discuss this with the people whom I have hurt, because I feel unjustified. I guess my question is, how do I ease along the process of my brain processing and letting go of emotions? Hanging onto negativity means my amount of spoons drops significantly, and I don't have many to spare. Thoughts?
this doesnt really help with the whole "figuring out how to process so i can move on" thing, but it sounds like you might have anxiety as well as depression? you're not really coming off as being anxious about it in the literal sense, but the hanging on to emotions long after the moments passed, overblowing someone's emotional reactions (e.g. the being so afraid they'll still be angry you can't speak to them or the fear you will mess up and make them angry again), and excessive worry in general sounds pretty stereotypically like anxiety symptoms. plus the fact that i relate to this a lot might have been a factor in me thinking this so... i don't know, i'm not a doctor. anyways, maybe you might try some general anxiety stuff as well as what you've been doing to try and calm down before. sorry if this is unhelpful.
This is along the lines of writing it out, but I write specifically what I would do about the problem. Like, yes, I hurt the person's feelings. What am I going to do about it? I then write out what I would do. What the consequences could be. How I would deal with them ect. I write until I have no more thoughts on the matter. I reread it a couple of times to see if more thoughts pop up. It helps ground my thoughts so they don't keep spinning. Alternative: make something with the emotions. If you are angry or frustrated create something with your anger( I have a foundness for drawing, cleaning, and melting crayons on candles). Just have a thing to focus on and direct your emotions can help. Maybe try dealing with each emotion individually like this, if they are ganging up on you.
