So, a the police just left. My little bro, he posted somewhere online that he wanted to kill himself or something to that effect, and someone called the cops on him. Which is a good sign! He has good friends, right? Friends who have good heads on their shoulders and will take stuff like that as seriously as they should. And can do stuff about it. I know calling the cops sure as fuck wouldn't have occurred o me if i were in their shoes, so. It's just good. But it means that my very private little bro got his headspace suddenly put right in my parent's eyes. And that's not great for him. He doesn't respond well to pressure or being crowded, and my mom's only tool for getting what she wants out of him is pressure and crowding. And i dunno the full story, and I doubt i will ever know because i feel like asking my parents would be an unacceptable invasion of his privacy, and i doubt that he wants to tell me himself. That's fine! I don't have to know all the sordid details to be there for him, do I? Unless it's. Maybe i do. I don't know. i overheard the word "statutory", and god i really have no idea what i'm doing. So i got him a care package, i guess. Stuff he likes and stuff he was talking about earlier. show i care and that i listen when he says stuff, i guess. Peanut butter m&ms, a little stuffed toy like he likes, and twenty bucks to add to his forty so he can buy whatever game he wants to buy. And i got him a notebook. I wrote in it that it was for if he wanted to talk but didn't want to be face to face or he just wanted some distance, whatever. I didn't make up rules, and now i feel like i should have, because rules would have been a great comfort to me. But, i dunno if he would have liked that? I dunno. I just dunno what to do. Is that okay, tho, you think? I haven't talked to him. I wanna give him space. I don't want to stress him out. He's prolly feeling humiliated and crowded, and i just want him to know that i won't push but i love him and i'm there for him if he needs me. did i do okay? where do i go from here? should i have told him that i wanted to kill myself too?
I think you did really well. Good choices all around. Telling him about your own suicidal thoughts could be good, but I think it might be good to wait a bit on that? If he opens up and wants to talk about it, y'know, that sort of thing. *hugs* for you and for your brother. I hope he gets the care he needs, and that his circles don't crowd him too much.
That sounds like a good balance between letting you know you're there for him and letting him have some space.
I am a super private person (at least... with people I know irl) that hates being pushed or crowded and your care package sounds like an awesome idea. Often I can't actually vocalize what I am feeling but can easily write it down. One thing that is a struggle for me is that I don't want people's perceptions of me/our relationship to change. I don't know if he has that problem (could be related to my own weird brain) which is one reason why I can write stuff here or in a journal but am practically incapable of actually talking to people half the time. but yeah that sounds good and you are good
You did good, and seeing as how you know him and we don't, I'd also say your instincts are probably pretty good, you know?
okay, so. I went in this morning to offer him a muffin, and he hasn't opened his care package and he isn't talking to me. Mom's been checking on him periodically, and has been asking me and presumably my dad to do the same. I feel like he's gonna want to stay in his room and also have that be a safe space that cannot be invaded, so. I was planning on getting him some mac and cheese for lunch. Battle plan right now is to heat it up and bring it there and leave it somewhere i can reach without setting foot in his room. Is that okay? He's gonna get hungry, and I don't think he's gonna want to come out, so. Does that outweigh the not wanting anyone in his space? I'm frazzled as hell, haha.
hmm, maybe should have gone for something more labor intensive or special, then... nah, comfort food is probably best. Got him four cheese ravioli, that should be happy making.
