How do I live with my parents for a month?

I've come to the conclusion that I'm very similar to both of my parents, but we come from fairly different backgrounds and generations so as to make it nearly impossible not to butt heads.

My dad is stubborn, likes talking to people with whom he shares a common background - such as farming, plant maintenance, gardening, etc, has a very "fix it" approach to problems, and often fails to see other people's sides of conversations entirely. He's also getting older and my brother and I are pretty sure he's either getting hard(er) of hearing or just a little more stuck in routine.

My mom is deceptively stubborn, likes talking to new people but stresses out about really small issues, and sometimes sees everyone's opinion to a point where it feels like she doesn't have an opinion of her own.
They both have a tendency to talk through movies, either about non-movie things, or about things that are clearly being led up to in movies (this isn't a big thing, it's just one of those little things that pile up into big things).

I'm stubborn, genuinely like talking to (or at, sometimes) a wide variety of people (but shy away from people who come off as "pushy"), probably stress out about relatively small issues, and am working really hard on being able to admit bias. (I talk during movies, but it's about the movie. I am probably irritating to watch movies with. *shrug*). (I also have my [emotionally abusive] maternal grandfather's tendency to be charismatic, sarcastic, and paranoid, so that's fun and thrilling. I write out a lot of my thoughts about that here.)

I don't know if it's me or them, but when I come home I feel like I'm being treated like a fourteen-year old. (Some fourteen year olds are very responsible! That's great! I'm not a fourteen-year old). Now that they both have jobs and are away from home most of the day, I don't get that as much, so I can just putter around doing the things I need to do.

I also think graduating helped them come to terms a little more with the fact that I have survived 5 years on my own with minimal help from them, but I've always been an obnoxiously independent kid and that's probably not helped our relationship. I only really bonded with them when my siblings left for college, but with that I also got all the parental pressure to do well that my siblings dealt with. (Youngest Child Posterchild). So it's been...rocky.

My mom and I have a running joke that we're working on how long it takes before we all get into an argument after they arrive and that our current record is about 3 hours.

(Example: Plan for graduation was that they would come, we'd put my things into the u-haul, we'd go to the hotel, graduation next day. They came, I had everything boxed up, barring the things that didn't fit in boxes, and immediately mom started telling me that we wouldn't get everything in and that I had to choose what to leave behind. Dad had the same opinion. Both of them approached me at different times throughout this process to remind me of this.

I ended up only having to leave behind the things I had already planned on leaving behind. I mean, I am really good at making things fit, but I've been doing that since I was sixteen, and still home. It's not a new development. It's just - it feels like they pick something to worry about and then just stick with it for the entire time. I can bet that three years from now, we're still going to be telling the story of How Mom Said It Wouldn't All Fit In The Uhaul But Then Dad Came In And Went "She Got It All In!" at family gatherings.)

When I was thirteen, I straight-up told my mom that I loved her but sometimes I didn't like her very much, and man, that really sticks true a lot of the time. I love my parents, and even more from a distance. I like sending letters, because then I don't have to deal with the everyday little things that bug me.
And maybe that's literally just me living with people. I could be the worst, bitchiest, roommate from hell, and not even know it.

So that's why I'm living with my brother for most of the summer - or planning to. I'm moving in something like 3 or 4 weeks, and in the meantime I'm at home, organizing and packing (in October I'm going to California for Americorps NCCC, so I can't bring much stuff).

Dad's work is hiring students right now, though, and he keeps mentioning that they haven't been able to find any, and that he might be able to make a specific job for outside for me, and then I could stay here. I do not want to work there again. I've worked there, and it's a great job for students going into college, but right now I really would like to find either a temp job or, yes, an outdoors job.

I also really don't want to stay here. I have told Dad this, and he just keeps mentioning it. I have asked if they want me to stay and they keep repeating that they want what makes me happy. They know how I feel about staying here, we've been talking about moving to my brother's for months now.

I am not happy here, and I feel bad that that's a thing, but all of my old friends are elsewhere, there's no social life at all, and I feel like I'm losing my social support network, which is really important for my continued brain health. The only person in the area I can talk to is my ex, and they're moving to another town soon. And either my parents are at work or we kind of ricochet off of each other.

My mom told me that she's worried I won't find a job where my brother lives, even though it's closer to a population center. I've been looking (from two states away) for jobs, and the temp place already told me to call back when I was in town, plus there are three or four plant nurseries down the road. If I get really stuck, my brother has also told me that I don't have to pay rent, that he never expected it, all he wants is someone to housesit for when he & his wife are out of town.

Plus, when my brother and I are feeling crotchety, either we snap at each other until one of us starts laughing, we find beer, or we grab a book and hide in our respective corners of house until we quit it. Mom and dad poke at you until they've taken apart every reason for why you're pissed until you don't have a real reason to be pissed anymore. Sometimes I'm just mad, and if I get a little quiet time, it goes away.

So, obviously, going to brother's.

But is there any way of talking to parents or acting around parentals that helps you not go nuts? We really do ricochet off each other, and sometimes I genuinely need quiet time but have no way to communicate that at the time. I know I'm probably messing up their routine after five years of being gone, but it feels like I'm stuck between fourteen-year old child (no) and weird overly familiar houseguest.

#bluh i have to wake up at 5 tomorrow #so i can drive dad to work #so i can take the car to go to the dentists #i will be weird and weepy tomorrow #also i have a headache because my bite is a little off after the last dentist appt #and it's fucking with my head #do not want