And what... what does that feel like? I'm genuinely curious because @jacktrash will talk about his experience before and after medication and it just seems like a fairytale. There can't possibly be something that works miracles like that. I mostly say this because I've been taking the same drugs (yes. multiple drugs) for about 5 years now and... no magic. No unicorn farts or sparkle rainbows. It makes me functional. Sometimes. And then sometimes it doesn't. But my mood is... the same as it always was, on average. I still panic about stupid stuff. I still have really bad executive dysfunction. Is it that it's dysthymia rather than depression? Is it that drugs can't treat a personality disorder? Is it that I'm not on the right drugs? I want to believe that drugs can work, but my experience isn't lining up with others' experience. I really don't want to make this thread all about me and I really do want anecdata about this because I have no idea of the qualia/what-it-is-like of a properly medicated experience. Spoiler: For reference 10mg Lexapro/escitalopram, 100mg Wellbutrin/bupropion 2x, Remeron/mirtazepine 3.5mg, birth control, emergency Ativan. Diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and borderline personality disorder. Suspect dysthymia, seasonal affective disorder, and autism as well. Add a garnish of genderweird. Serve in a toilet bowl.
