So I have a lot of issues with executive functioning, and most of the advice I've gotten from people is "make lists!" which hasn't helped much because when I can't motivate myself to put words on a page for homework I won't be able to make a damn list. This is a question about motivation both for schoolwork (I cannot focus well enough for essays a lot of the time) and general hygiene/home maintenance. It's a little unclear at this point whether this is a depression problem or a possible autism/ADHD problem, so any advice is good.
I'm not sure how helpful this will be, but the way I've motivated myself has always been by internally pointing out every piece of progress I make, telling myself that it's an improvement over what it used to be, and that if I keep going on this path, eventually, I'll achieve what I want to achieve - not just because I should do it, but because I can do it, and I will. I guess the way I'd apply that is... If you want to get better at schoolwork, why? So that your education can eventually give you a better chance at a career you want? Remember that, every step of the way, and kind of do a little fistpump or something whenever you get through a new section of your struggles. Even if it seems stupid, even if you just finished that math paper and oh man there's more tests to go, you did it and that's great. It snowballs up from there. The feeling of accomplishment has always been able to keep me going so long as I rub my face in it and slurp it up like some sweet, sweet ice cream, but just going "Oh, hm, I'm glad I did this thing, but there's so much more" instead of stressing "I did this like everyone else, and I look at them and think they're awesome for doing it, so you know what? I'm awesome, and I have every right to be." was my downfall on it forever. Kind of general and weird, but I hope it helps in some way.
Spite. Self-righteous anger. Vomit-inducing fear of messing up my appearance. Only recently have I learned how to make these useful for me. They rarely come together in the perfect storm but when it does, I can move Boeing's Dreamliner. Which *breaths on nails and buffs* I have done. Granted they were in tiny little pieces but overall, yes, I can say I did move half of a jumbo jet all on my own. :D I.E. Brain says, "That person will die. No one talks to me like that. It's breathtakingly easy to do, just carefully unlock this and nudge that over there, and it's OSHA shutting down the entire company." I now, instead of formulating all the myriad and entertaining ways of murder, think, "Bitch, please. You need to get your citizenship. First degree homicide featured on the 11 o'clock evening news will not get you there." Then..."Oooh, that IS true though, doing THAT will definitely show I am superior and thus deserving of this raise/praise/whatever. And I won't have to mess up my nails or figure out how to get blood and bits of body parts out of my clothes and hair. SO. Let's go do that by The Power Invested In Me via Sheer Orneriness and Future Narcissistic Preening." Yeah. And when motivation leaves, I go find something else to get offended about. Rinse. Repeat.
Necessity? When I most direly need to focus and focus is slim to none, every time emotional bile rises in my brain against the THOUGHT of going back to THE THING I purposefully, physically freeze myself (which allows me to Stop for a second without impulsively switching my thought train/internet tab to something more fun) and, for lack of a better way to explain it, let the feeling be a feeling. I sit through the emotional revulsion to going back to work, and then, when I'm either too tired for it anymore or it's quiet enough to push aside, I go back to work. I let it be something temporary, which is rising now, and will probably come back, but will also be quiet enough to push aside for a while. I also try to shut down thoughts about how long it WILL take and focus on the little thing I am doing right now because, as they said in Holes, you can't think about all the holes you will dig. You'll go insane. Just dig this hole. This works, by the way, for a long time, but not forever, and rough sleep deprivation (like, BAD sleep dep days, not normal sleep dep days) can disable it because I don't have the necessary emotional control on those days, or the necessary anything. So er, really, getting sleep days ahead of time helps me more than anything else. Go figure. And my much more ADHD-heavy girlfriend says it doesn't really work for her, at least not without much more herculean effort, so. Of course, that's for continuing something, not starting something. When it comes to starting something... uh... guilt. Sorry. I often motivate through guilt, do not recommend. I'm not sure I have a better way, though scheduling, to some degree, does help--weekly schedules, like, I start x thing when I wake up on Monday, y thing after lunch on Tuesday, the sort. Eventually it becomes a muscle memory thing as much as anything--my legs start feeling restless before the weekly grocery visit.
