So I have a job. It is very hot and full of physical exertion, which I am bad at, and both my boss and my interactions with customers make my anxiety spike. On Friday I started crying in the middle of the day and went home - this isn't WHY I want to leave, but, like, feeling that bad was not an isolated incident, it's just that I managed not to cry the other times. So I'm trying to leave. But - my boss is sort of an intimidating person (she's been totally nice to me so far (although her style of communication makes me anxious anyway), but everyone else seems to concur on how mean she can be, and although she was supportive on Friday when I freaked out I don't know if this will anger her) and if I go back after telling her I'm leaving, my anxiety will be way worse, and what if she picks on me, and and and. But they're going into a busy time of year and I'll be leaving them short-handed even if I give them a week's notice. And my mom works there, and I really like a lot of people there, and I want to leave on reasonably good terms. If I can stick it out for a week, I want to. But I just don't know if i CAN. Here's the email draft I have so far - it's vague on whether I'm leaving right away, mostly because, you know, I haven't decided. Help would be appreciated, but this is really time-sensitive. Spoiler: email [BOSS], I want to talk to you about my job at [EMPLOYER]. While I was and am immensely grateful for the opportunity to have worked there, I do not think I will be able to continue. I underestimated how much difficulty I would have with this job. I was excited and hopeful that it would work out, but both my sensitivity to heat [ed. note: I work in a greenhouse] and my anxiety disorder have presented problems, and the combination of heat, exertion and stress has been making me physically ill. I know this time of year is busy, and I'm very sorry for leaving you short-handed. Under better circumstances, maybe I would be able to stay out my scheduled time, but unfortunately, my health is interfering. Please be assured that this isn't because of what happened on Friday; my reaction then was a consequence of these feelings, not the cause of them. Your response to my freakout on Friday was extremely compassionate and helpful, and really helped me calm down - thank you for that. But those feelings are going to keep coming back for as long as I am there, and you probably don't want to spend all your time calming me down. -[BLUE]
would you be able to get a doctors note for anxiety saying you don't have to work your notice bc yadda yadda health issues? if not that email seems alright to me. if you're really worried about leaving people short handed maybe you could discuss some kind of arrangement w/ your boss where you only work the notice when you're needed?
ok here is DRAFT 2 now with more certainty, but possibly also too much melodrama: Spoiler: email 2 the emailening [boss], I want to talk to you about my job at [employer]. While I was and am immensely grateful for the opportunity to have worked there, I do not think I will be able to continue. I underestimated how much difficulty I would have with this job. I was excited and hopeful that it would work out, but both my sensitivity to heat and my anxiety disorder have presented problems, and the combination of heat, exertion and stress has been making me physically ill. I know this time of year is busy, and I'm very sorry for leaving you short-handed. Under better circumstances, maybe I would be able to stay out my scheduled time, but unfortunately, my health is interfering. I know best practices are to give as much advance notice as possible, but worrying about this has become a large source of panic for me and I am feeling genuinely unable to work any more days. Please be assured that this isn't because of what happened on Friday; my reaction then was a consequence of these feelings, not the cause of them. Your response to my freakout on Friday was extremely compassionate and helpful, and really helped me calm down - thank you for that. But those feelings are going to keep coming back for as long as I am there, and you probably don't want to spend all your time calming me down. I really value the community at [employer], and I want to leave on good terms, although I know this kind of throws a wrench into things and I wouldn't blame you guys for being frustrated with me. I really wish things had worked out better. Thank you, [blue] @Sol fortunately she is semi-friends with my mother and already knows about the "anxiety disorder" thing; I don't know how much she ~gets~ it, but she seemed to take my flipout seriously and was helpful about it. And.. okay, I think I have a conclusive answer to whether I can work more days, because thinking about putting anything in the email that might cause her to ask me to come in more makes me all panicky. So. Ugh. Probably I'm overestimating my own importance; the business has been running fine without me for like a hundred years, I'm sure they've had employees leave at bad times before. Right? AAA
the email looks good, although i don't know your boss but i wouldn't keep the end bit (the you probably don't want to spend all your time calming me down). it leaves an opening some people might take to be an excuse to talk you out of leaving (again, don't know your boss so they might not do that) . or they might feel offended. it's a little assumey on your part. everything else looks perfectly reasonable though, and even if they don't take it well, leaving without a notice might not look that great on your record but it definitely isn't the end of the world. i agree with @Sol about asking to only be called in for most needed situations if you really think you can handle that, they should be respectful of that.
Eheh, yeah, I slip into vaguely self-deprecating sarcasm(?) if given the slightest opportunity. It sometimes works in my writing, but is a bad habit for work emails. :P I will take it out.
well in that case just tell them you're leaving and leave it at that. as long as it's not gonna leave you in dire financial straits or anything. i agree with @Deresto about taking out that last bit. i'd probably cut everything "Please be assured that this-" up to the end except maybe "I really value the community at [employer], and I want to leave on good terms." bc you don't really need to explain yourself any more than the first bit. if u want reassuring, i recently left a job under similar circumstances. i was constantly on and off bc of brain weird and i left with no notice (i owed like 3 weeks lol) just before christmas when only like five other people worked there and everyone was fine and no one got mad at me and i'm doing way better now that i'm not stuck there anymore. im p sure people will understand u've gotta do what's best for you.
also: to be clear, the reason I added the bit about valuing the community is because my mom works there and I went to their yearly company picnic thing even before I started also working there (and would like to keep doing that, and talking to the people i know, and maybe someday see Oreo the greenhouse cat again), and it's genuinely a really nice place. so i feel bad. but it will be ok.
I think I'll keep the "please be assured" bit because my boss seemed super concerned that the reason I started crying on Friday was a joking remark that she made in response to me doing something wrong, and when she described the incident to my mother she put a lot of blame on herself. So I don't want her to think the sequence of events was "i say a thing -> blue cries -> blue quits." thank you for the reassurance, though. :)
When it comes to medical things, all you can do is your best. I actually had to walk in to my boss's office on a Thursday afternoon, while she was talking with her boss, and tell them that instead of being there for another week and a half as planed, my last day would have to be Monday because I was having surgery on Tuesday, and then moving before I would have leave to come back to work. I was a supervisor too. Sometimes it just happens.
I know it's not, like, illegal or anything, I just feel bad bc she often talks about the greenhouse staff being stretched slightly thin. But it worked out, I guess, so.
