Hello! I speak to you as somebody who is not in the best shape, and is probably getting increasingly out of shape, as my days more and more seem to consist of me literally sitting down in my room all day and eating food at an increasing level, due to a mix of boredom, a poor emotional state, and these weird food cravings I keep having. I've tried at various points in the past to get in shape before. I find that, even with intense pushing from my family, I can typically only attend a gym - and sparingly at that - for about a month before I get discouraged and drop my membership. I've also tried strictly controlling my diet, but to no avail. Food is one of the few reliably good things in my life, and I just simply don't have the willpower to not eat how I want to, or exercise or diet vigorously enough to make a real impact on my physique. That said, I absolutely hate how I currently look. I'm not overtly overweight, but I'm certainly heading in that direction, and the more and more I am disappointed by what I see in the mirror the less and less I am motivated to try. I am sure that appearing more physically attractive both to myself and to others would be a lot of weight off of me - no pun intended - but I am unsure how to go about gearing myself psychologically to do this. Are there any methods that I might be able to implement to make me stop eating so much food, or exercise more? I know the traditional adage about being uncomfortable with your weight and your appearance is just to try and see yourself as more attractive with the body you have, but... that's really not the way to go here. Even if I could somehow be happy with how I look, I am under no illusion that other people would think the same, and retraining my own mind wouldn't help the fact the people are about as attracted to me as they would be slightly portly orangutan. So yes, does anybody have any advice? Seeing as I'm putting a little bit more effort in trying to fix my appearance generally at the moment it seems sensible to try and do so in all areas, waistband size included.
From my own experience, I suggest focusing on either diet or exercise, but not both at once. Trying to change two habits at once is generally a losing proposition. I also don't recommend trying to do the usual 'just eat less' diet thing as far as eating goes - ime, it's crazy-making, especially if you increase your activity level, and can do active harm to your metabolism if you take it too far. I've found that the key to getting myself to exercise regular is doing things that I like to do and have some sort of immediate feel-good benefit. I like to go on walks because it's very meditative for me and I get to enjoy fresh air and sunlight (or quiet and stillness if I go out late in the evening). I also like to swim, despite gender dysphoria issues - it's also meditative, as well as being easy on the joints, and it's fun to be buoyant. If you'd rather not do anything you have to go out for and you're okay with maybe being a little bored, there's the 100 pushups challenge, and the sister site of 200 squats. I think there's a 200 crunches one as well? I know there are other sites out there that have workout regimens that you can do at home without equipment, but I haven't tried them as they often assume a level of ablebodiedness I don't have. As far as diet goes, again, I don't recommend restricting calories. Cutting down on animal fats and eating more vegetables goes a long, long way.
One thing that helps with discouragement at the gym is having specific, measurable goals. Going to the gym with the aim of 'getting stronger' can leave you feeling like you haven't changed anything; going to the gym with the aim of 'do a set of 85 lb squats' lets you say "Ok, I started just squatting the bar, and it's been a month and now I can do 65lbs, so I'm only 20lbs away!" (This works with any sort of workout). Also keep a log of what you do, so that you can look over it and see how much change you've made. Personally having a trainer keeps me feeling obligated to go in even when I'd rather not, but because I have the advantage of cheap university gym rates.
so, back in the day i attempted a crash diet every so often to lose all the weight i wanted at once. i'd cave from exhaustion in a week and a half and loathe myself even more for trying and failing. then i got my wisdom teeth out and had to drink fluids for two weeks. i dropped ten pounds. they came back several months later (the pounds, not the teeth), but it was still pretty impressive for a two-week span. wait, what was the point of telling that story? i'm not actually advising that you get your teeth pulled. but i do suggest that you avoid drastic change of any sort. what i've found helps is picking a handful of foods that i know are a problem for me and treating them like they're diseased. and not skipping meals, since that does weird things to portion control.
Do little things every day; lunges while sitting at the computer/hunching over the laptop. Put it somewhere waist-level and step back and do lunges as you're reading. Get your body into the habit. Brush your teeth? Curtsy lunges. Brush your hair? More lunges. Look up the proper form to do them, these can quickly injure you, and severely too. But they are incredibly effective. Air sit (can't remember the actual term) but your back against a solid object/wall and bend your knee like your sitting in an invisble chair with the wall as the chair's back. Do that for as long as you can stand. Get up and walk around. Walk around the block once. Can't or have trouble? Even if you can only go the end of your hall or your room or walk/march in place. Little things. Little bouncing in place will strengthen your legs, rememer to bend your knee and keep your back relaxed as you come down from the little jumps, it'll absorb some of the impact. On your phone? Do the same thing. Do sit ups in your bed. It helped me until I can do it against a solid surface. Personally I can't deal with life if I don't have at least an hour at the gym five to six days a week. I work 10 to 12 hour shifts, I make time. I've learned the hard way though, I'm in my mid-30s and this took a loooooong time to stick. EDIT: I HATE excersize and I love food, so I stopped thinking about the motions as excersize/diet. I thought of them similar to going to pee or brushing my teeth. Both are obviously not comparable because one you have to do or you'll die from septic poisoning, and the other one is socially enforced and might not kill you within the week but the long term gum disease might. In short, it's now part of my daily routine, I can't not go without doing a set of lunges and pushups within three hours. This is from someone who finds repititive motions extremely soothing, so long as I can find a rythme, I'll keep going.
