Does anyone have this problem? It pretty much happens like clockwork for me. I'll start doing something regularly, like playing a certain MMO or something. I'll really enjoy it at first, and I can still be having some fun with it, but after 2-4 months I'll get distracted or have a few busy days and not pick it up or log in for a week or something. And then I just can not get myself to do so when I have the time again. I've literally been sitting here for the past few days doing absolutely fuck all other than being bored and refreshing social media. I desperately -want- to do something, anything else, but I just can't do it. I think about logging in or starting something new or just doing something else I stopped doing months ago and it's like my insides seize up and I just think 'ugh, meh' and end up not doing it. I will continue to feel 'ugh, meh' about everything for another few months, until I suddenly get a bad itch to go back to some old hobby, or try some new thing, which will also only hold my attention for 2-4 months, and the cycle will repeat. It's just tiresome, because I'm obviously bored, and I'm obviously a little bit depressed, and the cure for that is very obviously to just force myself to start something fun and I will likely get caught up in it, but I will still likely sit here all day bored again. Or take a nap.
i know that feel. when task switching is just so draining, you don't even want to do a fun thing because it would require getting back into that headspace and ugh so much work.
YES. I am currently sitting next to a book I know I will enjoy reading, but... meh.. I'd have to turn on a lamp first! Maybe even move my chair to get better light! And obviously these are insurmountable obstacles.
i feel you. With MMOs especially. Fuck I love GW2. I love the stupid thing and I haven't played it in ages because of the changes to the system in some patches down the line and now I ahve to essentially relearn a game i wasn't particularly good at to begin with and hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I am very anxious about my performance in video games so if i drop any game at all for a week i'd have to relearn the game and I'd be terrible at it and that is anxiety inducing
good news: there's a name for this, if you didn't know it already. it's called anhedonia and is a big symptom of depression (which you've already mentioned)! so *hugs*. i definitely feel you on this one, it is p much every day of my life. bad news: it's fuck-off hard to deal with sometimes. are you currently seeking treatment for depression? if not, you might want to consider it - either steps like conscious acts of self-care, or talking to a doctor. as much as it's easy for us depressed folks to say "why? this is just life." that's...actually not true. it's not really normal for people to literally not want to do anything all day because even having fun is too much work. a couple ideas: create a to-do list of literal minutiae. even if this is a list of 'fun' things. sometimes you can get past the executive dysfunction a little more easily by trying to convince yourself to do really really small things. oh, and actually check things off the list. it feels good. (you'll also get better at knowing how many spoons are actually behind the anhedonia curtain.) get a buddy. IRL buddies or internet buddy, all good. you don't even have to actually do the thing with them: you can just idly chat while doing it or talk about it or whatever. sometimes, if you're really strapped for people to actively do things with, I find just sticking it out there on Twitter or Tumblr will help me feel connected (and a little bit accountable). and if i've really got nothing else, I put a let's play on in another tab. i find the extra human voice alleviates some of the blahs - and some of the anxiety that @IvyLB is mentioning, depending on the task at hand. i have also been getting lots of mileage out of the Stop, Breathe, & Think app. i put in the couple bucks to buy one of the extra packs that has a "Healing Sadness" meditation in it, and i find it really useful to lift some of the veil and give me a little bit of energy back to try to do another thing. *extra hugs*
These are all really good ideas! I have started making lists of books I want to read. As long as I keep the list short enough to make it seem manageable, it's super useful to me. And crossing things off a list always makes me feel very successful at life, so yay. Anothet thing that helps me is having a (very informal) book club with a bunch of friends. It both gives me incentive to finish a book and tricks me into hanging out with friends every few weeks! That's an activity that always makes me feel good afterwards, but is usually impossible for me to organize because spoons. So many spoons that I don't have.
I didn't know there was a technical term for it, so thanks! I'm not seeking treatment for anything at all yet.. making an appointment with a therapist is one of those things that has been an 'Oh I should really get around to doing this.' sort of thing on the back of my mind for uhhh.. over a year at this point. It's pretty much when I feel okay or at least feel like I'm surviving I don't feel like I really need to do it right at this moment and put it off, and then I crash and have a suicidal episode and literally just can't do anything other than feel like shit. I'm terrible. I've been trying to be more like 'I need to at least do ONE fun thing today. I need to just load up a game or log on to something." and I still just.. vague hand gestures here. It doesn't help that with my current situation the MMO I've been delaying logging on to I have like.. a time constraint. I need to finish stuff before the expansion launches to even play the expansion and I'm also simultaneously not enjoying the class I'm playing so it becomes and even bigger wall. I might just say fuck it and either start over in that game or at least try today to play something small and story driven so I don't feel like weepy garbage at the end of the day. I have some chats going on in other windows and often leave something that doesn't required too much attention playing and it does help to a degree.. I do wish I had more people to actually Do Stuff with but that's a whole 'nother bag of anxiety worms. Thanks for the link to the app, I'll try it out. I have a really hard time doing 'clear your mind' type meditation because things always pop up but short focused things like some of these seem to be might work well for me.
I feel you on the whole "I need to do this but ugh" in MMOs. Usually that means I need to take a break and play something else for a while. Depression makes it worse though. I've missed event stuff because I was depression and couldn't work up the will to play. If you still want to accomplish a thing in the game, making plans to do it with someone helps me get past the initial "ugh I don't wanna" because people are expecting me.
@Aniseed - glad i can be helpful :) if the spoon-investment of an MMO is too much, have you tried flash games? or point-and-click adventures? you can frequently find short ones (<15 mins) which can be a good brain-break. oh and hang on lemme find a thing try the Grow series! they are fun little procedural-evolution games where you click and cute things happen. I think the guy who makes them is Japanese, and he's not great with English, so the text can sometimes be a bit of a head-scratcher, but you don't need to read anything to play the games. :) also, is there anyone you can buddy with IRL to take steps on finding a therapist? someone suggested to me (I can't remember who, it was someone on Kintsugi) that they've been a sort of initial filter for therapists, doing some research and finding a few names that look promising, so then you can email or call only a few people at a time instead of feeling like you have no idea what you're looking for. there may also be community stuff where you live - that was how I found my first therapist: I called the community mental health centre and they hooked me up with a talk-therapist. if you are in university, check out the student services - my best counselor ever worked for the university i was attending at the time, and we are still in contact.
I feel you! I always get bored around halfway through anything. Halfway through reading a fanfiction, reading a book, watching a TV show, reading a webcomic, writing a story. Sometimes I force myself to finish because I know I'll look back on it later and be happy I did, but it turns from an enjoyable activity to a painful slog.
@Kaylotta The furthest I've gotten in regards to finding a therapist is that me and my partner have looked to see what offices close by take our insurance. I'm just bad at the phone and these places never let you make appointments any other way. My partner tried to make an appointment for me at the last place we had insurance for, and they wouldn't let her do so without my verbal consent (and I wasn't home at the time). Also I have no clue if i should be looking for a psychiatrist or a psychologist..
yeah, I hear you. phones are evil things. :( as to psychiatrist/psychologist - a psychiatrist has medical training and can prescribe medication. a psychologist or other mental health professional (counselor, therapist, etc) can usually only make recommendations, which you can take to your doctor. @Aya knows more about this, but I haven't seen her around in a while I don't think...
I know the technical differences but I'm not really sure what I should go for. I've heard mixed things, like psychiatrists really just make diagnoses and prescribe meds and don't give you much time for talk therapy, while if you go to a psychologist you get the talk-stuff and they can theoretically just give their notes to a psychiatrist to work off of and you can get diagnoses + medications that way, but maybe not ? I think more talking time would help me out a lot but I also think I should probably really look into getting on some medications, so I'm a little boggled still on what I should prioritize looking at..
hmmmm. well, my suggestion would be to head for talk therapy first off. a good counselor/therapist will be able to tell whether or not medical treatment is a good idea at this stage, and they will probably have recommendations or ideas for who to go to for that - or, like I said, they can recommend and you can take it to your doctor. you don't actually need a Psychiatrist to prescribe you brain meds - i just got them from my GP. that said, I don't remember where you're living, things might be different. also, i think it's probable that how much talk-therapy a psychiatrist provides will depend on their personal preference (as well as whether or not they are research-focused rather than treatment-focused). however, i know from experience that the psychologist my family has worked with has far more of a diagnostic bent - doing tests/assessments, etc, and then recommending one way or another.
