Ok, so my depression has got to the point where I know I'm not going to just become functional by sheer willpower or exercise or any of those things that people with functional brains insist will help (because I have almost no ability to go "I am going to do the thing" and then do the thing, and what little ability I have is dwindling). Medication is probably a good idea at this point. However, I'm still living with (and dependent on) my parents (though I am 19, so legally an adult which I guess is probably helpful here). My parents don't believe that I'm anything other than lazy and unmotivated and that I just need to put more effort into things. They would definitely not be on board with this. So. Can I / should I try to do this without my parents knowing? How would I go about doing this? How am I going to pay for this / how expensive will this be? What should I know about antidepressants before I try to do any of this?
I was in school too when I reached the same decision, so for me step 1 was going to the school clinic and step 2 was finding out about my school's health insurance plan. If school doesn't give you any coverage, depending on the medication you may or may not need to get your parents involved (are you covered under them?); some meds are much cheaper than others. I guess the two most important things about antidepressants I'd pass on to Past Me are 1) don't go cold turkey unless your doctor says to; it's both unnecessary and miserable, and 2) don't skip doses, even (especially) if you feel fine; the reason you feel fine is because you're taking them.
Are you insured? Even if it's under your parents, they don't technically have a right to know what you discuss with your doctor - this doesn't save a lot of people with very snoopy parents, but for one example I have a family friend whose doctor was totally comfortable with coming up with innocuous sounding excuses for her sexual health checkups so her conservative mom didn't flip about her adult daughter needing that kind of healthcare. That can probably be applied to mental healthcare. As for costs... it depends a lot on your insurance and which antidepressants. For anecdata, I took generic Lexapro for only $10/mo, but when I switched to generic Cymbalta, it was more like $200/mo bc my insurance was being terrible. So it can be a huge range.
School doesn't give any coverage, I'm covered under my mom's insurance, but the whole parents thing... If I had a professional saying "look, your kid actually needs this", I might be able to get them on board, but I'm really not sure (plus I don't know if they would even believe me then, since they've kinda accused me of lying / exaggerating to mental health people in the past). Plus just the initial appointments before even thinking about getting anything prescribed are going to be difficult money-wise as well as location-wise. Speaking of which, what's the typical process that happens before medication can be prescribed?
Do you have a family doctor or GP that you see regularly? For me, it was v much just a process of going in to her, saying, "I've been feeling like this for this amount of time," and she talked to me about meds and suggested a prescription to try first. But then, I had a history of doing therapy without medication through my college, and I'd been seeing her since I was two, so she trusted my self-evaluation a lot. *shrugs*
I assume by location-wise you mean it's difficult to get from your home to your doctor's office? Is there maybe a clinic near school that would be easier to get to? I honestly think I got my first prescription the first time I talked to my doctor about it. I'm a very textbook case of depression and I had been seeing her for a while before that, so it wasn't very surprising. I did see a psychiatrist a couple times, including when I switched from SSRI's to SNRI's (they work differently and you can't take them at the same time), but I didn't need to see one to get 'proof' that I was depressed before I started medication.
Can't speak for the US, but my experience was similar to Kit's. Went to the GP, explained suspicions of anxiety + symptoms, he prescribed a medication and told me to come back in a month to see if I needed alterations (which I did). I had no history of therapy, but he also helped get me set up for that since the govt here allows 6 free therapy sessions before you've gotta start paying. I've been seeing this GP since I was 12 or so though, so yeah. Later on (like a year later) he also helped with a shrink referral.
Not really? I have a nurse practitioner that I haven't been to in.... three years? who I guess is my main healthcare person. (my mom is a nurse, so I've never really gone to a doctor for checkups or anything, last time I went to an Actual Doctor was last year because I needed a lab test done for a weird throat infection thing). I guess since FNPs can do prescriptions I might have a chance there though? By location-wise I mean I'm in a sorta-rural area and if I can't find a doctor/therapist/etc. here who works well for me I'm kinda out of luck because it's about an hour's drive to anywhere else of any significance. I do have a car, it would just be the challenge of making the time/having an excuse to drive somewhere else. Hopefully I'll be able to find someone in town and the location bit won't be an issue.
I'd say that's still a good shot! Someone who you're comfortable with, even if it's just 'not a new person' comfortable, can be easier to talk to - I know I was super nervous in that appointment.
Do you drive to school? I hope you find a doctor in town, or that the FNP works well with you. If not, though, when it comes to getting mental healthcare despite uncooperative parents I highly recommend lying by omission. Start staying on campus later. Do your studying and homework there. Join a club. Go to the gym. Let your parents know. And then, if you do wind up needing to make an hour drive sometime, well, they're not going to wonder why you're not home right after classes end, @IndigoRiffRaff usually isn't home right after school.
@budgie I do drive to school (and am often in town pretty late anyway because band rehearsals and radio show and labs and study sessions sometimes) so if I manage to find a doctor in town that particular thing won't be an issue. The main concern I'm having at this point is cost - I'm not really making much money (being a college writing tutor basically just gives me enough money so that I can buy some things with my debit card when I have to) and my parents do sometimes ask how much is in my bank account, so keeping things a secret is seeming increasingly unlikely. But how the heck am I ever going to get my parents on board with this?
Hunh. That idea's a bit strange to me; I don't think my parents have asked me how much was in my bank account since I was 16 except in terms like "Are you saving up?" It might help if you present it as a done deal - "I talked to Dr So-and-so, they prescribed X, I've been taking it for the past month, can I take your insurance card to the pharmacy next time?" That's essentially what I did, except I already had the necessary insurance info, so it was more me asking for support than needing their permission. Years later, my mom told me that at the time she'd been dubious that I could be depressed. She still never told me I couldn't take antidepressants/couldn't use their insurance.
Yeah, I do have an insurance card of my own, so I do have all the info so technically I could manage to be Secretive. But actually, presenting it as a done deal would be more likely to be a bad thing than a good thing with my parents. Maybe the best option is to first find out if I can get a prescription, be like "hey parent(s), so this is a thing" and hope for the best?
Unfortunately, I have no idea how to handle insurance or parents (since my method when I was under 18/in the US was "tell no one, because no treatment is better than my parents finding out". Would Not Recommend). However, the website CrazyMeds.us is my favourite place to go for info about antidepressants in general. For some reason my laptop refuses to load it right now, or else I'd quote/link bits to you.
Does your school's clinic have a pharmacy? I know your parents are snoopy so idk if this would work but I get my meds through student health.
No, my school is pretty tiny so that's not a thing we have (it had never even occurred to me that a school would have a pharmacy, like what, that's a real thing?) So yesterday I kinda experienced a pretty big setback in the form of really majorly doubting whether I'm actually depressed or just lazy so this whole process is going to get put off more, I think (especially since parents are firmly on the side of thinking that I'm just lazy and inconsiderate and don't have legitimate brain shit going on, which, maybe they're right, maybe they're not).
my school doesn't have a pharmacy per se, but they can order refills for you from a nearby pharmacy while you're at school. they also don't have any psychiatrists on staff, but they will take you to one off campus. and it's not a huge school! only thing is they won't let you keep your own damn meds (this is only for psychotropic medication, of course) and I have to go every week to get most of my meds and every day to get my short-acting ADHD ones, because they have "high black market value" or whatever. uh. none of that's particularly relevant to your situation, but.
Other possible suggestion is try to find a counselor you get along with, they can't prescribe medication but they can help you deal with all of the annoyance around getting it.
Yeah, I actually like my school's counselor a lot (she is very good about pronouns and has KINETIC SAND and other stimmy stuff) but scheduling with her this term has been nigh impossible because the other counselor left and it's just her now so she's super busy and my own schedule is Awful D: I'm going to try to see if I can meet with her sometime before the term ends though.
