A thread for those of us who use quadrants to describe our relationships! Discuss what's the difference between a moirail and a best friend for you. Talk about how you totally trolled your kismesis or got trolled! Does any even use an auspitice? I've got both a moirail and kismesis. I've got some great close friends, but it's my 'rail who really looks out for me and vice versa My kismesis has really strong reactions to fiction and I enjoy introducing her to things i know will give her feels because I think it's funny. Also i got her to read Homestuck which is a good reason to hate someone forever
I guess my main difference is that my moirail is the only person in existence who has complete touching privileges and who can touch me while I'm overloading, because their touch doesn't ping as NOBADMAKEITSTOP. I also feel super safe with them. There's a certain emotional connect that I just don't have with other people. (The only other person I have something similar with, I've known for almost as long as I've been alive. She's basically my big sis. But we're not that close any more, because we live far away from each other and use different methods of staying in touch with people, and have different interests now)
I've got...two railsprits (that's what I call having a pale heart with someone), one matesprit, and that's it. I reaaaaaaaaaaally want a kismesis. for reasons. and I kinda need a straight-up moirail? maybe eventually I will find one. the difference between moirail/railsprit and a friend for me is the emotional feeling and the trust I have with the person. and what I'm comfortable doing with them, like with a moirail, I'd be comfortable cuddling but not kissing or anything, but I'd be down for them touching me more than the average person. with a railsprit, I want to kiss and snuggle them, but my feelings aren't romantic. and then matesprit is pretty self-explanatory.
I currently have two moirails - one of which I seem to flip ash on everytime she finds herself yet ANOTHER abusive matesprit, which is a lot*, although thankfully her current flushmate seems alright - and one maybe-kismesis. (I wish there was a quadrant for where you love beating the hell out of each other until you cry laughing from taking all the world's shit on you out on each other and then go watch disney movies with icepacks and painkillers without ever really wanting to do the do- we call each other rivals, but it's more like a really pitch diamond XD) *I was actually in a really fucked up auspitice with her and one of her boyfriends a couple of years ago, wherein she tried to stop me from actually killing him and I tried to stop him from constantly belittling her and playing really cruel pranks that would make her cry - with my fists. On one memorable occasion I sent him home from a house party with a bruised throat and a cut lip after he publicly humilated her and got high-fives from his asshole friends for it :/
My matesprite and I live with my moirail and her two quadrant-flipping heart-spade mates. I am hella ashen for one of them and his other girlfriend, but it is sadly unrequited. :( Probably people have heard me complaining about that situation elsewhere, it is sad and tedious and sucky. I have no kismesis and swing between thinking one would be great and thinking it'd be awful. I am terrible at recognizing friendly teasing and competativeness, or the difference between "you suck (how dare you be so good you sandpaper on my comfort surface)" and "you suck (crawl in a hole and die)." So far as i know my matesprite has no other quadrants. Hes the most human of our clade though so i think hes fine with that. My not-ashenbro needs a moirail like fuck but won't admit it; sometimes i think hes maybe pale for me and thats why he gets weird about my club, but *shrug*. I do my best. My moirail's other concupescent quad scares me, as much as i really like him a lot. He's super sweet with the kids but dude takes zero shit from anyone and is kind of a badass. I don't really know how to friends but my moirail and i do things like take care of each others kids when one of us is ready to flip tables and hassle each other into eating when we wouldnt on our own and make eachother go lay down when we have migraines instead of trying to keep doing stuff. We help keep each other afloat, its really good.
I think having a kismesis might be nice because competition sometimes pushes me to do better and also because I really want someone to be jealous and pissed off when I'm better at things than them, and then in turn be jealous and pissed off when they're better at things than me. but at the same time it's like...do I really want someone to hate me? do I really want to hate someone else? hmmmm. on the surface it seems good. but on the other hand...
Well, in my case it's that we're good at vastly different things, so while there's jealousy, it's of the sort of (oh jeez how do you even understand that madness nevermind excell at it) rather than (ARGH WHY AM I NOT GOOD AT THIS THING YOU ARE GOOD AT) EDIT: Also it doesn't feel like hate? Not that real I want-you-to-die hate like I felt for my moirail's boyfriend. It's more like the pitch sort of love - Han and Leia love, if that makes any sense XD
One possible moirail for me, although I cant tell if we're moirails (actual stop you from fighting the world tyoe moirails) or if both of us just get pretty black towards lots of people and the other likes auspitising. for a while i thought i was an auspitice between her and some dude she really hates, but then a week later i realized she drags me away from things im getting angry at, so maybe traditional troll moirails. No flush yet (there is some people ive crushed on lots, but no actual relationships :l ), no spades (guh i dont think i could handle that without breaking. although..) .
One moirail, who's been my friend since junior high and we both just completely agreed that "yeah this" after reading Homestuck, one platonic kismesis which has faded from fully pitch over the years to a just kind of gentle thing. And one drama llama who has a black crush on me that is absolutely not reciprocated, please get medication.
i have a couple people i consider Best Friends, but only one of them is my moirail! i drunkenly explained Homestuck quadrants to her one night so i could express all my pale feelings at her. and (Krystal) agreed that we are indeed moirails! ^_^ i saw in the other thread someone say that society typically ranks the importance of relationships as Romantic Partner > Best Friend > Friend. but Krystal is definitely as important to me as my boyfriend! my boyfriend and i actually do make pretty decent moirails, we both have similar brainweirds and we Get each other's issues. but Krystal and i just complement and pacify each other on a whole 'nother level. my boyfriend has no experience with self-injury, for example, so if i'm feeling really selfharmy, boyfriend can sympathize and generally be sweet and supportive... but Krystal knows where the impulse comes from and what it feels like, and she can pacify me much more effectively. she has a stronger anger impulse than me and generally has a tendency toward anger and grudges, whereas i am overwhelmingly empathic to the point where i can always see all sides of the issue, whether i want to or not, and i cannot hold onto anger or confrontational impulses for more than like. 5 minutes. so when i need someone to push me to stand up for myself, she can help; when she needs someone to calmeth her juggalo ass down, i can help. i have, in the past, described my sexuality as simply "blackrom." because i find everything about that kind of relationship arousing! but the thing is, i am pretty sure i'm not capable of a pitch relationship in real life. see above, re: empathy and inability to hold onto anger/grudges/really any confrontational feelings. (for awhile i thought i had a pitch attraction to someone, but it turned out that i was just really angry that i was being raped by someone i had a crush on.)
I have had the realization that I keep getting into relationships where I end up trying to be the middle leaf between my girlfriend and the world.
i honestly think i could really, really benefit from some healthy kismesisitude, because i always seem to be happiest and most productive when i'm competing with friends who do well and watching them one-up me in turn... but that tends to kind of come across as me just trying to make them look bad. and i feel shitty about it and try to keep it to myself, and the result is usually dunking into a minor-to-major depression spiral. :( (having an actual name to put on it is nice, to say the least. i don't want to hate people, i want to compete with people)
this. this is why I feel I could benefit from a healthy kismesisitude. I could also benefit from a healthy, straight-up moirailleigence. like, my railsprits are great and all, but not the best at calming me down or anything. I really need a proper moirail.
I kind of feel that moirails are like the friend therapist that we all sorely need, where you just Get each other and the balance is so important, like I've had near moirails, but it would turn into "I'm stressed about a thing but i already know what she'll suggest and it's dumb, whereas almost every time she asks for advice and follows it, it turns out well" which was a combo of me sucking at trusting people, and also at having shitty boundaries and allowing people to vent at me for two hours, helping them calm down, and then get a "oh hey right how are you doing" afterwards, followed up by a "sorry I had to run out somewhere" three hours later. :/ I think a good moirail helps define both of your boundaries, and that should go for both of you. (and as of last night, I'm officially moirailled, which is such a good feel) I black flirt with damn near anyone, as @littlemissCodeless can probably attest re my idiot near self insert jaeger oc it's fun. like, you aren't playing the game to see who's better at the game, you're playing to see who's better at winning. ...is my best explanation for that
I had a moirail, but then it kinda turned into him complaining about things 24/7 while I hid my feelings from him. and it was not the best. finally I had to set up some boundaries and be like "dude. I can't attend to my own emotional well-being like this, let alone yours. I am not your personal therapist. you want a therapist? get a professional."
thats why im kinda glad my possible moirail would be the "im pullin you away from this person who is aggravating you, so that you dont break their nose" type moirail, instead of th feelings type. We can work up to feels
