General feeling that my sense of my body and my actual body are no longer in sync, heightened awareness of my limbs as they move (undertones that they are no longer under my complete control?), sounds seem louder but sensations are dulled. Sometimes comes with light-headedness and a feeling like I'm pushing through cotton. Best analogy I can think of is that it feels like I'm controlling the protagonist of a first-person exploration game, like Amnesia. I'm not actually moving Daniel's body, I'm moving the keyboard/game controller which then tells Daniel how to move. I've been infrequently experiencing this for as long as I can remember (say 20-ish out of my 27 years of life) but it's always scared me so much that I'd freeze up, and then literally try to shake myself out of it as quickly as possible. Tonight out of a combination of fatigue and lack of fucks I walked around the house examining the experience for several minutes before ending it, by rapidly shaking my head. Is this a form of dissociation, and should I be worried?
It sounds like disassociation to me. I'm not sure if it's something to be worried about if it's infrequent and just kind of happens sometimes. If it increases in frequency or is harder to snap out of that would definitely be a sign for concern. Anecdata: the times I've disassociated have usually been periods where I was having mental problems of one sort or another (dysphoria can do it too), or dealing with sensory overload. Every so often it'll just happen, but that's pretty rare. It's definitely kind of freaky!
Gah, dis*a*ssociation. Why do I always get that wrong? Thank you for the response and anecdata. I don't *think* there's a correlation between these experiences and times when I'm exceptionally stressed or having mental problems (tonight I just felt average until the experience suddenly kicked in, for example). There does seem to be a common thread of me being tired, though. Most of the times I remember it happening, I was already in bed and trying to fall asleep, especially when it happened while I was still a kid. Just lying there thinking about my day or writing a story in my head, and then suddenly reality shifts two steps backwards and to the left and my arms feel like aliens. It was terrifying back then, now it's mostly disturbing because I don't know why it's happening. Will definitely be on the lookout in case it starts increasing in frequency or severity, like you said. Would rather this didn't become a regular thing.
... Actually, it looks like *I* got it wrong. Whoops. XD In my defense, I'm really tired. (9 am appointments are suffering.) It's interesting that it happens when you're tired! Total wild guess, but I wonder if it's some sleep switches being thrown before they normally should be so you get a weird not-really-in-your-body feeling.
Shows what you know, I am in fact PRO-antidisestablishmentianism. Have been all my life. My mom's had a few cases of sleep paralysis, though I never have (and Dad had sleep apnea). Something similar to that might make sense, I think. Brains are weird.
Just putting it here, I guess, but: I always thought that I only dissociated when I was feeling really strong emotions and/or recovering from a meltdown, but now I realize I'm always kinda lowkey convinced I'm a fictional character, I look at posts I made and go "Did I write that?" even though I clearly remember writing them, and the "Wait I'm an actual person that exists" moments are actually relatively rare and always end up with me panicking because of existential stuff. So. Uh. Oh well.
