just creachin the best we can

I've been meaning to make one of these for... probably a couple of months now, and am finally conquering the executive dysfunction to do the thing!

You may all applaud now.

Clacky rocks and cookies also welcome.

I've historically been terribly about updating anything in a way that resembles regularity, so please to not be alarmed if I fuck off for parts unknown for a while, as Socialing is one of the balls that my brain likes to drop when it feels spazzy. I always notice eventually. e_e

 

You have arrived!

Spoiler: Flashy

 

Spoiler: Super flashy & big, ye be warned

How could I have arrived...

(￣▽￣)ノ

 

In other news, this is evidently the day in which I throw salad on the floor, in spite of my best efforts. Why this.

 

I have the best wife

 

CAMPIN’ OUT HERE

Also that looks so tasty!! What kinda pasta is that if I might ask? :0c

 

It is super tasty! It's fettuccini al Limon, so a cream sauce base with lemon zest and lots of parmesan and stuff

Welcome to the cryptid campsite! ^_^

 

Ohhhh, that sounds just divine!!

 

It's very taste!

 

Aaaaaand it is 10:23 on a Saturday morning on this, the weekend of my wedding anniversary, and I have to invite Comcast into MY HOUSE to answer me why the internet isn't working. And he sez, he sez to me

"Don Kai, there's interference disrupting your modem's signal. Be sure to not place the modem near water, Don Kai."
And I sez to him, "The modem's in the fucking entertainment center you rusty garbage disposal blade (except I do not actually say that thing because I know what it is to work customer service and he didn't deserve that)."

And I also sez to his colleague "Hey while you weren't providing service my fucking bill more than doubled, wtf are you going to do about that?"
And the other guy sez to me "well that plan's expired so we can't get you a price that low anymore but how's about I set youse up with cable?"
And I do NOT rip him a new one because I know he's required to try to upsell me and I am a generous and magnanimous soul! (But I still end up stuck with a $10 price increase for the same goddamn service because late stage capitalism was the real monster all along, folks.)

In theory the internet won't randomly drop off on all devices now though, so it's not a loss. Just not a very satisfying success. Someday maybe we'll see the internet companies no longer allowed to pretend they're not a utility service provider, but what difference will that make, one wonders, when we still allow private corporations to own parts of the country's infrastructure despite being required to have a monopoly over an area to ensure consistent service, and therefore being immune to competition? Something something capitalism free markets (BUT THOSE REQUIRE COMPETITION BETWEEN PLAYERS IN THE SAME INDUSTRY VERTICAL TO PREVENT MONOPOLIES TURNING INTO MONEY-SUCKING STARS AND GOING NOVA AND TAKING THE WHOLE ECONOMY WITH THEM BUT WE AREN'T CARING ABOUT THAT ANYMORE ARE WE? because no, that would make the money sad.)
/endrant

/deepbreath.

FUCK.

Ok ya'll, that's it for now. I'm out.

 

Anniversary date and Father's day brunch accomplish x2 combob accomplish!

I am so full of delicious food and I love my wife so many, you guys. All of the many.

 

Wow it's amazing how much more awake I feel immediately after managing to get actual breakfast. Hello, metabolism,good of you to join us.

 

On the other hand, breakfast wore off after approx 3 hours. Fortunately, cupcakes.

 

Huh. Just realized that a decent chunk of my socializing is playing gay chicken. And that I tend to play with dudes, because mimicry is how tiny!Kai learned to social.

But if I'm the one doing to gay chicken, it's not going to look gay.

This probably explains a lot about several friends being kind of ??? about my supposed orientation

Also what is gender how do I interactions (but not really upset, because this realization is mostly just retroactively hilarious.)

 

Today's weather is interesting in the sense of the Chinese curse.

So I'm looking out the window because it's getting dark outside from all the clouds and notice a scrap of cloud hanging low and exhibiting some very lazy, rather pretty rotation. Ok, this is Indiana, it's not picking up speed or anything, nbd. Still going to keep an eye on it, because it's interesting.

Then the power goes out (the first time)

Groan, bitch, whine, restart computer, reopen work programs. Rainwall slams into the building thick enough that I'm seeing actual wave patterns on the glass. Cool, welcome to the Midwest.

I work for a bit, rain slacks off.

I notice that the creek nearby is almost over its banks, wow good thing the cloud cover has broken up. Then the air pressure shifts so it feels like we're underwater, and at the same time the air kicks on (sounds kind of like the previously freight train) and I can hear a siren in the distance- but definitely not a tornado siren.

Still freaks one of my coworkers out a good bit, but hey.

Aaaand then the power goes out. Again.

That's when I notice that there isn't a breath of wind outside, and even though the clouds had mostly broken up by then, I'm doubt.png

Like, this is classic "calm before the storm" weather, but with our New and Improved (TM) weather patterns, who knows?

Anyway the sky is grey and bland now, but I'll be shocked if there weren't at least funnel clouds sighted in that system before it blew over, even if none touched down.

Edited to fix my fucking auto correct trying to help

 

This makes sense on an instinctive level to me, which is incredibly frustrating because cognitively I can't figure out/model/find a specific example of what the fuck you're talking about, in terms of behaviors!!!!!

(instinct brain is saying that this is part of what makes people have the Intimidated reaction, tho?)

 

Hm, it's hard to think of specific exchanges, but the behavior template that you've seen before where I poke at people in the teasing/giving you shit way that gets read as flirting, and then I see that it's being read as flirting and keep doing the thing only harder but also weirder like I'll get a prize for confusing my interlocutor as much as possible in one conversation, and then observers of the conversation aren't sure if I was actually flirting and like the person or if I was making fun of them via pretending to flirt or what was happening.

Like, it's not Actual gay chicken so much as I borrow some of the weaponization of, idk, conversational momentum? And the flipping of social scripts- so like, I'm using the lines that the other person is used to using while they try to figure out how a given conversation works from the other side. (This is a more gendered thing- kind of like the trope where you have a guy and a girl changing in the same room, guy gets flustered, girl is gentlemanly enough to offer to let him change behind a curtain or something so he's not shy. High comedy imo, and more reminiscent of the "playing a role but intentionally doing it wrong for shiggles and seeing how far the inversion will go" thing that you get in gay chicken

Or, at another angle, the whole"this interaction is on a roll and if you're nimble you can redirect it in your favor but if you stop the roll then you lose" thing.

I know I'm jumping around quite a bit but maybe the conceptual examples are helping it make more sense?

Anyway I guess wordplay games like that could come off as intimidating if the person isn't comfortable playing? But idk how to measure the potential impact of me treating conversations like a friendly wrestling match causing intimidation vs possible other mystery factors. Like, I don't think I've ever really done that with Hell Roommate, but you and @asynch say that her being scared of me was a factor in why she never got as bad to my face as she did to either of you.

(beezleballs this got long)

((Analyzing my own cognition being a thing I can get nerd sniped by: Navel-Gazing: hyperfocus edition!))

 

I know I said this out loud, but this is the most You thing I have seen in some time. And yeah, this is a good example of the thing to help me figure out what the fuck you're talking about

This too. Also known as why you're secretly the lovechild of a trickster and a chaos elemental in a human skin.

The Intimidation I was thinking of was, like Elicia, for example. H-R was maybe intimidated some by seeing you do this to other people, but she was also scared of you bc she had me lined up as her narcissist chow and then you moved into town with eerily well-seeing eyes and I obviously trusted you, so you were a Risk Factor. She couldn't bullshit or steamroller you like she could me or asynch, and that scared her.

 

still pissy about the in a human skin part, tbh. Where are my superpowers?? where!

Mmm, yeah, Elicia's anxiety probably makes it hard to enjoy absurdity and unexpected conversational twists as a form of entertainment.

And see, I still have trouble accepting that assessment for that bitch because she did manage to hit my buttons well enough that I didn't respond to her appropriately or proportionately. And maybe she was insecure enough in her grip on our interactions to think I was just playing nice for unknown reasons (which was sort of the case because she absolutely could have tripped up badly enough that I would have gone off on her) but to be realistic she had already crossed that threshold if it weren't for me tripping over my baggage on the way to my impulse to cut her off at the knees, so even if she couldn't bullshit me, that still feels an awful lot like being steamrollered. Just, I had my eerily well-seeing eyes open to watch and understand as it happened.

In short,

 

help i've fallen back in the homestuck pit (don't help this is the first I've felt like actually writing anything and had enough coherency of thought to follow through on any of it and i'm loving that even if I am showing up like 5 years late without even any Starbucks to show for it to a fandom that's lousy with antis and full of burned out awesome writers with thousand yard stares from the shipping wars

it's not too little too late, creativity is its own justification, yada yada, also I'm having fun and it doesn't have to be a magnum opus to be worthwhile (can you tell what my braingripes have been stuck on lately? >:T)

I've really really missed feeling like I had any interesting stories in my brain. I've missed this so much and it's so good.

Just holy fuck, this is going to be so much work

but WRITING again!