Leave me alone but talk to me. (Extroversion + Social overload conflict?)

Discussion in 'Braaaaiiiinnnns...' started by Codeless, Mar 15, 2015.

  1. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    Just got back from a con last night. Words are hard, meaning is harder and everything is fuzzy but I´m also lonely and desperate for someone to talk to. WTF brain.
    Was wondering, if I am not an introvert, but an extrovert who gets socially overloaded at times. Could any such share their experiences, or tell me if this sounds familiar?
     
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  2. TwoBrokenMirrors

    TwoBrokenMirrors onion hydration

    Sounds familiar to me, though... I think kind of differently, perhaps. Certainly I have times when i can't think of a damn thing to say at all but the idea of saying to the boyfriend 'let's leave it for tonight and talk tomorrow' and having him go away is impossible and unbearable.
    It's the sort of thing that would be a lot easier if we weren't long distance, because then I could just sit with him and have his company without having to make words, though if I was that restless I would probably also be attempting to climb on, over, under and possibly inside him. But regardless, words would be unnecessary because I could make strange whiny noises at him instead.
    I also have times when nobody is about but I would kill for someone to pay me attention and by the time anyone comes online to do so I'm so peevish I'm no kind of good conversational partner, but I think that's an entirely different thing, maybe.
    I've never managed to define myself as an extrovert or an introvert because I go from adoring people and wanting to be around them and talk to them and feel their presences to 'if you so much as knock on my bedroom door I will have a minor breakdown because people can suck my dick'.

    (FWIW if there's something you particularly want to talk about or even if you just want to ramble I'm quite happy to talk to you at any time)
     
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  3. Morven

    Morven In darkness be the sound and light

    Thing is also: you can be an introvert and still enjoy socializing; generally the dividing line is whether socializing drains your energy or invigorates you. If socializing is your recovery and alone-time is what drains you, you're an extrovert.
     
  4. Mala

    Mala Well-Known Member

    I get weird mixtures of needing to interact with someone and not being social at the same time. I end up basically pulling a "look in the fridge full of food and complain about there not being food in the house". Usually it's just that I only want to talk to the certain people who for some reason don't require energy to talk to and only those people. But even though I really want to talk to them, I sometimes can't start a conversation because finding a topic or reason to initiate contact takes too much energy. It's frustrating.
    (for data's sake I consider myself extroverted but I easily get socially overloaded)
     
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  5. albedo

    albedo metasperg

    Yeah, I do this too. I can do low-impact conversation all day, it makes me energetic and full of ideas. I get worn out by looking continuously socially engaged - like, maintaining eye contact and not fussing with my phone, interacting with people I don't know well and fretting about reading them correctly, loud noises/bright lights, and anxiety triggers. And since that correlates with 'most stuff people would recognize as Social Activity', I always thought I was an introvert, but I don't think that's actually true. :P
     
  6. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    Thanks efurryone
    .
    For me, I definitely do get drained by interacting with peiople, but I also sometimes find myself craving interaction? I suppose I still have to get used to the idea that even introverts get lonely. (I´m pretty isolated irl. Mostly by my own choice.)
     
  7. albedo

    albedo metasperg

    Yeah, they definitely do. You might have some luck finding kinds of interaction that don't drain you as much; that's what I've been doing, and it helps a lot.
     
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