Commentary in the Tumblr.txt Thread V2 has made me realize that we need a thread to collect those tiny, mostly harmless but incredibly satisfying curses upon terrible people. I am currently blanking on more, but this needs to be a thing.
My go-to is 'I hope all the food you microwave is scalding on the ends and completely cold in the middle'
i'm a big fan of "i hope you have to touch the hair clogging your shower drain' mostly because the idea of it gives me the heebie jeebies
I use these a lot, cause I feel nasty wishing actual harm but like MAY YOU HAVE SHITTY LIGHTING WHENEVER YOU TAKE A PICTURE or I HOPE SOMEONE ALWAYS EATS YOUR SNACKS that is fine
Me too ew ew ew. Doesn't help that I p much always have to do it in my sister and mine's shared bathroom.
I'd suggest 'I hope your nail polish smudges horribly just when you thought it was finally dry', but that feels way too cruel
I'd be fine with that, I deal with it all the time cause I'm a forgetful MF. And then get nail polish on my trackpad whoops.
Life is like a box of chocolates, and I hope you get that horrible strawberry one that someone else has already sucked and put back in. #cribbing from Pterry like an asshole
Tempted to put down GODS TAKE YOU but that hrmm. Hrmmmmm. Granted if they take your food and you eat it you're going to get sick and I'm hoping for horrible pain. So. Fuck it.
May your surfaces always have bumps and never be smooth May your washing machine eat your socks May you have an itch that you just can't reach May your pillows lose their fluffyness May you never be able to remove all the breadcrumbs from your bed May you bleed on your good panties
