(Sub account because I'm paranoid even though gf isn't a user here) Background: I'm living with my girlfriend. Let's call her Molly. She used to live with another girl, who she wasn't in a relationship with. Let's call the other girl June. Molly and I started dating when she was living with June. June is in a relationship with an unnamed person. They were broken up when I met them, and for a good part of the time that she and Molly lived together, but got back together about a year and a half ago. When Molly moved out to live with me, June's partner moved in with her. Issue: I was recently talking with Molly about June. Molly mentioned that something was likely to happen with her and June previously, but Molly always wanted a family and June wouldn't give a straight answer on whether that was a thing she wanted. My problems: 1) I never had the slightest inkling that there was anything happening between June and Molly. 2) We see June regularly. Around once a week. 3) I feel weird about it. It totally came out of left field. We've been dating for about 3 years now and are committed to a life together. I don't doubt that Molly loves me and I know I love her. 4) Molly was vey honest when we got together about the fact that she'd never been in a relationship before or done anything sexual with anyone. Which includes June. 5) Molly has never broken my trust in any way. But this has put a weird spin on my view of things. 6) I didn't say anything when Molly brought it up, and just carried on talking normally about the subject at hand, despite the fact that I was freaking out a bit. 7) I have an anxiety disorder so I can never tell whether something is a thing most people would feel anxiety over or if it's something my brain cooked up on its own. Basically: Can someone give me a kick up the butt? June has never been weird with me. She seems committed to her partner. I'm convinced Molly is committed to me. I'm not worried about residual feelings or the potential for something to happen between them. It's just that it's shaken up my viewpoint and now I feel helpless and weird and don't know whether I should bring it up to Molly. Especially because I didn't act like anything was wrong during the conversation during which I was made aware of this. Basically, is this a thing other people would feel weird about in any way? And how do I broach the subject with Molly? Halp?
Aaaaand now I'm worried this comes across as a 'how could my gf have feelings for someone before me?' thing. That isn't it. It's the fact that it was this particular person that we know and see a lot and that she lived with. I know she had feelings for other people. So did I. That's fine. It's just... yeah. This one particular person. Sorry, I'll stop now.
I think that it's likely she was just being honest with you because it occurred to her in the moment and she didn't think that mentioning it would bother you. Really, you should just talk to her about this. If your relationship is as good as you say, and she's aware that you have an anxiety disorder and sometimes need reassurances, it shouldn't be a big deal. You don't need a kick in the butt to get over this, you just need to openly communicate with your partner about feelings and shit, you know? Here is a kick in the butt to go talk to your girlfriend. ;p
This is exactly what I needed to hear and is much appreciated :) Talking has happened and things have been resolved. I've filed the whole thing away in my 'Proof That Anxiety Brain Lies About Stuff Being Irreparably Broken' folder.
