[NSFW] Let's Homestuck some Hentai - Kids + Alpha Trolls Edition

[EDIT:]
Adding this for context too:

I didn't even see what was going on because it was really crowded! Sadly that's one of the things I didn't get a screenshot of. Also, according to the sex stat they even had full on booty buttsex? It's like Mituna went all MGS on Hussie's dick. Someone should tell him that fucking your teacher isn't like stealth missions in a videogame! >:C

YES EXCELLENT! That sounds like a nice challenge :D Buckle up, Tavbro!

OH MY GOD, you poor soul! You are honestly amazing for taking them manually like that, that's gotta take a lot of patience! And yeah, if you take too long with replying they get all grumpy! We're in a hentai game, why are they rushing like that?

<3333 (Bet that really sneaked up on you!)

 

Well then, let's start!
As said, nothing much happened that day, but now everyone got to know each other, the next day will hopefully be a little more eventful!
Anyway, let's take a look at our roster:



It's still pretty early, so there aren't many students around. Let's see who we can find.



Good morning, Rose! I see you still couldn't get that issue with your flesh consuming sweater fixed, but it's great to see you're already in high spirits.



It's okay, Rose.
We promptly get approached by another student:



Excuse me? Unfortunately, not everyone can be made of 100% pure muscle like you, there's no need to rub it in like that.
Ignoring that little jab at my athletic performance, let's see what other students we can find. Oh, there's John. He seems a little agitated though:



Look, I understand rewatching your favorite movies from childhood can be a really disappointing experience without the nostalgia goggles, but that just happens sometimes. Try to appreciate them for what they are.



See, that's better.
Now let's look around some more.

I don't know, you tell me?


Probably one of his pranks. Old people humor, Jane. You just gotta roll with it (like a watermelon).



Yes. Many things, in fact. My thirst for knowledge is unquenchable. For example, why are you looking at me like I'm a tasty treat while smelling of troll weed? But I'm sure there's a perfectly innocent explanation.



I'm really sorry Meulin, but those things make up about 1/3 of your body mass, it's bound to happen.
Let's see, who haven't I talked t-



[HIGH PITCHED SCREAM OF TERROR]
Haha, not much, aside from a sudden bout of crippling fear of unemployment and/or prison. Listen, could you maybe refrain from stealth-humping me this time around? I would really like to keep this job.



Thank you.



Oh for fuck's sake.
Hm, that's a good question, Jane. "Getting a restraining order", probably.



A good morning to you as well. Hey, if seahorse dad is free one of these days, could you arrange a meeting? For purely professional reasons, of course.



Exactly.



Woah, careful with petting the Strider spikes, Latula. Just so you know, getting your hand impaled on ridiculous anime hair isn't covered by school insurance.

 

There's still a few students I haven't greeted yet, so let's look where they're at.



But first, Cronus wants to do a study group (or so I assume, because no text is displayed. I suppose that's what the subtitle option in the launcher is for, and I'm gonna use it next time >:0).



Not everyone can be a teenage elite hacker, Roxy!
Also, time for class.



Phew, that's done. Seems like everyone was there too. Time to hit the showers.



Welp, looks like I got the wrong locker room. Of course, I promptly get the shit beaten out of me. I'm sorry, it won't happen again, just let me g-



OW FUCK. It would really be a lot easier to leave if you all could stop punching me for a moment, thank you.
Alright, let's finally get into the correct locker room -



Oh. Hey there.



Jake, there's nothing wrong about a teacher and his student having a little naked chat in the shower.
Now that we're feeling nice and fresh again, let's talk up some students I haven't talked to yet.



Wow, a little more enthusiasm, please. Anyway, apart from drawing, laying down some sick beats and collecting dead stuff, what are you up to in your freetime these days?



And you would know all about killing birds, wouldn't you, Dave?



My face is still swollen from your uppercut from before, so I'm glad to hear you seem to have forgiven me.



Oho! Looks like Porrim and Rufioh are into each other, and share a tender kiss in front of the bathrooms. Can you imagine a more romantic location?



That's nice to hear, Dave. I should check the mysterious statue soon to see what's up.
In the cafeteria, we meet a glum looking Kurloz.



Oh damn, that looks pretty serious. Hey Kurloz, wanna hear a joke?
A few years ago, my best friend went away to become a mime. I never heard from him again.
Haha, get it? Get it??



Oh come on, are you implying I'm usually not funny? Surely you jester!
Haha, okay, I'm going now.



Aaaand it looks like Jane hooked up with Cronus. (The CroJane shipper in me rejoiced :D)
What does he have to say about finally getting lucky?



Yeah, that's what I thought.

 

Original post by @Ruevian with their playthrough and information about the game here.

Some people asked to put different playthroughs in separate threads, so here is one for mine!

 

Popping in to sub to thread and also say the past few ones have been pretty cute. (Mituna! And poor Huss.)

 

yesssss, I'm so pumped to see the obscene personality in play. >:D

I wonder if everyone'll wanna hook up with Rufio.

 

Mituna's hair is quite possibly the greatest thing since sliced bread.

 

Thank you so much! Looks like the Huss suffering is a global constant. Poor dude can't catch a break ):

Me too! Also, while I gave Damara that personality and the "perverted" trait, I also gave her high virtue, to go with that reading of Damara's raunchy behaviour as an act she puts on to fuck with people. Let's see how that works out ingame! Meanwhile I gave Rufioh passive traits and low virtue, so that should be interesting :3c It's actually really neat how you can achieve a lot of different behaviours with all these different combinations of traits!

Mekakure hairstyles are so fun,aren't they? They look so nice and inviting to pet! I'm so glad the game lets you make them.

 

Also the graphics in your game look so crisp and delicious, how'd you do that? :o

 

*settles in with ALL the popcorn*

 

Oh man this is exciting! Im eager to see what happens. Im also concerned by how huge Jane's boobs are. They're like. Double the rest of her torso. Are you okay Jane? Would you like to lie down? Do you need a massage? Yowch.

 

She better not lay down; otherwise those puppies will roll back and choke her.

 

MITUNA IS ADORABLE even though he is apparently a sex ninja. *3*

/gently subs to this thread too

 

//sobs because that is my reality and I didn't even think of Jane's boobs as super big
curse you, H cups. curse you.

 

There's actually FOUR male body types! Regular, "delicate", tall, and fat.

Some day I'll make my own sims game, with REAL character creation options. And beer! And hookers!

 

There's four male bodytypes, actually, but they mostly look the same other than the fat bodytype. Delicate and Standard are the same height, just with different body definition, Tall is the most "muscled."

 

Stat time!



Looks like our class is pretty okay with us!
Remember when Dave told us Jade got confessed to?
Well, turns out:



What would a hentai game be without its (ecto) incest? Speaking of which:



Oh dear.



ROXY NO! Stop clowning around this instant!



You too, Damara. This can't end well.



Meulin and Mituna actually hooked up!



LES8IFINS :DDD! Seems like they're pitch, too, at least from Aranea's side (Meenah's says "Mai Waifu").
Next up is PE:



Jeez, get a room you two.
Seems like Meulin heard us too, and invites us to get some food at the courtyard:



Decisions, decisions. Suddenly:



Wh-
Even if I wanted to, once again I didn't see anything happen! This is seriously getting unsettling. At least you're still clothed, so hopefully I'm still as pure as freshly fallen snow. Don't try anything weird again, you hear me? I'm gonna be watchful like a hawk or whatever the troll word for hawks is from now on when you're in the vicinity.




Oh come on, Meenah. I know you hate most of your friends, but isn't that all the more reason to go wreck some havoc instead of moping around like you're doing?



That's more like it! (I'm a responsible teacher.)



Excuse me? That's extremely private information. Well, I mean, as private as information the mysterious statue could give you can be, considering it not only includes the exact number of sexual partners you had, but also specific measurements of how much genetic material has been deposited in what orifice.
Still. Rude.



Yeah, and you know, after I met the guy in the shower, I can confirm: those rumors are absolutely correct. God damn, Jake.



Oh, I'm doing okay. I was just telling someone about your grandpa's w- woah there, hi, John.



Sorry Jade, looks like your boyfr- uh, brother? Brofriend? Doesn't like us talking to you.



I know what that looks like, but the cheesy sax wasn't playing, so it turns out they were just hugging, though the size difference has Jane's head at almost crotch height. Fun fact: there's actually a german word for a person so tiny they could blow you while standing! So if you ever want to impress your friends with that knowledge: "Standgebläse". You're welcome!



Some positivity from Jane. Glad to know even the game knows that Latula is pretty damn amazing.

 

Can you be short with the "Tall" body type, tho?