This isn't super pressing since I probably won't have to deal with the specifics for another month or so, but I'd rather be prepared and have things figured out before then. So. My parents vaguely mentioned something at some point a while back about wanting to visit me and my partner down here around my birthday (in August). My dad brought up maybe wanting to go to an amusement park or something. However, I'm fat and out of shape. I've always been fat and out of shape and having to deal with walking around things like amusement parks or zoos has always been a special kind of hell, but it's even more difficult for me now. If I do do these things I need very frequent breaks to sit down and rest, I need to stay incredibly well hydrated, and even if I take those precautions, I still feel like death at the end of the day if I'm out for too long, it just delays things. The heat of August would likely make these things even worse also. My dad is mostly okay, but my mom has always been abusive and doesn't really care about me or listen to me. That is really just the truth. Because of this even when I was slightly less fat and slightly more in shape as a kid, I'd be dragged around all day, have to shuffle around with a dehydration headache and dizziness from being dehydrated because she never wanted to buy us drinks, be nagged at if I needed to sit down, accused of being lazy for doing so, and so on. To be blunt, I don't want to have to put up with that, and I do need to keep my comfort and health in mind. Even being with my partner who would rest with me, I'd still have to listen to my mom treat me like shit over it. I know even as much as I might go in with a mindset of 'I will rest if I need to' and 'I will hydrate well and treat myself well' that I would end up pushing myself in order to avoid confrontation and negativity. I'd likely manage much better with a wheelchair, but needing to be pushed around in a wheelchair in order to maximize my fun times just because I'm obese would be a massive self esteem blow and I don't think I could do it without feeling incredibly self conscious and embarrassed, and the whole needing somebody to push me around thing would make me feel like a burden. This would of course also be another thing that my mom would also treat me poorly over. I'm just kind of not sure what to say or what to suggest we'd even potentially do other than what they want to do. If walking around for long bouts is out of the question for me, it really limits what we could do while they're here. I also don't really want them just hanging around our apartment. It'd be awkward and boring. And while our apartment is mostly clean, but there are some pet stains and spots from before I moved in that will just never look clean or smell clean without a really involved enzyme treatment (though we might be trying that out soon, we'll see how it goes) and my mom would absolutely flip a shit about it. I'm just kind of anxious about all of it because I'm just easily pushed over and hate having to deal with saying no and potential backlash from that. How do I say no to their original plans? What else could I suggest? Part of me really just doesn't even want them to come at all because it's too much to deal with, I'd rather just visit them again at some point around then, but I know that they have never been out here to see me since I moved and they'd like to. I'll likely just have to come up with a lie to get out of it, but I hate doing that, and I don't think I lie very well at all. I don't know. It extra sucks because I like my dad and I'd like to see him and have him come out here maybe with my sister sometime and take them to some cool places, but if my mom is with them those just aren't options, and I know she'll very likely always come too. I could rest more if it was just them, I could take them to more places without having to worry about my mom being loudly racist, and such.. It'd be much less stressful and daunting for me if she wasn't tagging along, but unfortunately she will be, so now I'll probably have to tell them that we'll come up there sometime but can't really have any visitors around whenever they want to visit because of made up reasons..
