lmao we bout to do it Berserk, if you're unfamiliar, is a seminal seinen manga written and illustrated by Kentaro Miura. It is the tale of a swordsman called Guts, quite possibly the most badass human to ever live, who lives in a standard fantasy setting, has a lot of emotional issues, and kills like so many guys. It features gorgeous art, strong existentialist themes, and GORE! GORE! BLOOD TITS GORE! im liveblogging it because im 19 and mad at the world and it seems like a good thing to read at the moment Berserk is extremely fucked up and a lot of fucked up shit happens. Aside from BLOOD TITS GORE, warning for rape, CSA, suicide, abuse...like, if it's awful, it probably happens. I won't post the most graphic pages (i will post some of the gory ones maybe, if they look cool), but I will probably discuss some of that shit. It's also just...really fucking bleak and sad. So be warned. theres also SPOILERS. i sound like i'm bagging on the story but its actually incredibly good and if it's something you might be into i'd recommend staying out of this thread, or reading along maybe anyone can post in this thread with commentary if they like. if you've already read it pls try not to spoilers. all images are going under spoilers cause theyre really big alright here we go
PAGE ONE: GUTS' BARE ASS. he's like fucking a demon chick, and HIS ARM IS A GUN AND HE SHOOTS THE DEMON IN THE FACE AND IT FUCKING DIES AND I ALREADY LOVE THIS COMIC. then Guts goes into a town or whatever and some guys are messing with a fairy? Spoiler: what the fuck is this thing wtf then Guts shoots a bunch of they guys in the face with his mechanical arm (which has a crossbow attachment). the art is good and Guts is kinda hot: Spoiler: fuck me UP i would make passionate love to this art style. the little fairy fucker is an elf named Puck. he's all like "thanks for saving me im gonna give exposition now!" Guts deadass does not care. things established so far: Guts is called the Black Swordsman. Guts has a really huge fucking sword. Guts is an asshole. he wants to kill the lord of this town but then he gets captured and tortured whoops Spoiler: i enjoyed this splash too much ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) the lord of the town is a snake demon, as it turns out, and he tortures and eats people guts is in gay baby jail and he hallucinates(?) this thing: Spoiler: nasty demon fetus Puck comes to pay Guts back for his good deed, and heal Guts with elf powers and break him out of jail. Guts turns out to be violently touch-averse. He's an asshole at Puck some more and Puck is like lol bye. guts: says he doesn’t give a shit about other people, calls puck an insect also guts: is confused when puck fucks off also this happens: Spoiler: self-injury i think guts might be kinda messed up guys anyway he kills the snake demon and its really fucking awesome. next chapter!
so Guts skips town and Puck follows him. Guts is an asshole some more: Spoiler established: Guts doesn't like weak people and wants to kick everyone's ass. he's walking in the rain and gets offered a ride by an old priest and his daughter. he accepts with some reluctance. this INCREDIBLY CUTE moment happens: Spoiler Guts has a nightmare with a lot of incredibly claustrophobic imagery and that demon fetus thing again. The nightmare turns into an actual attack by actual demons. the thing about guts, apparently, is that he has this brand which attracts demons to him, so anyone who hangs around the guy is in terrible danger. Hence the winning personality. the poor little girl dies really horribly. Guts fights skeletons all night. he seems vaguely distressed that the girl got killed, but he deadass laughs when Puck tells him it's not his fault. According to Guts, getting involved in other people's shit is stupid, and if you're too weak to survive awful shit you're better off dead anyway. Guts also hears demon voices telling him that they'll pursue him forever. I'd have a nihilistic opinion of the world too.. (It's not clear whether he's hallucinating or not, but either way, dude clearly has serious issues.)
okay this is where the plot kicks off for Real another town with a demon ruler. this guy, the Count, tortures and kills "heretics", most of whom didn't do shit. Guts meets this guy called Vargas, who's super fucked up and gross looking cause he got tortured by the Count, and moreover, his wife and sons were killed by the Count. So he wants revenge. Guts is like "lmao fine i was gonna kill the asshole anyway." Vargas is really nothing but helpful to him and Guts is a huge dick about it, what else is new. A lot happens that expands hugely on Guts as a character and really needs to be read to fully get into...poor Vargas ends up getting killed and it's really fucked...and hey, there's more to Guts than there seems: Spoiler: thx Puck for character analysis There's an added wrinkle: the Count has a young (apparently entirely human) daughter who he clearly loves dearly. So that's something. Also: the Count possesses a guy and Guts is fighting him, and the demon guy is like I CAN REGENERATE FOREVER AS LONG AS MY HEAD IS INTACT and then in the VERY NEXT PANEL guts cuts his head in two and is like lol thanks for telling me and I LOVE Puck talks to the daughter, Theresia, and it's really sweet, and also Guts is fighting the demon Count who turns into this awful slug-thing, and this happens: Spoiler: guts is Scare i was just really struck by this cause...look at his face, our badass protagonist is scared out of his mind. Guts doesn't have superpowers, he's just an asshole with a big sword who has to fight cause he'll get eaten by demons otherwise, and he's terrified in the face of his own weakness and powerlessness, just like Puck said. Guts gets the everliving shit kicked out of him, but he still manages to survive, and tears the Count to pieces in a berserk (lmao) rage. Then he does this: Spoiler: same tbqh ...i think guts might be kinda messed up guys also whats with those ears??? but anyway the demon count nearly dying summons an Escher drawing: Spoiler which is apparently what hell looks like. this is also the first appearance of Griffith (I think this is "Griffith did nothing wrong" Griffith, if you know that meme) who is a weird Batman-looking motherfucker who Guts really, really, really hates. Like, hates so much that he tries to get up and cut the guy's head off, even though his everything is broken and his brand causes him horrible pain for being near such a powerful demon. And then we learn about how demons are created. So it's mentioned earlier that the Count had this artifact called a behelit, which looks like an egg with a distorted human face on it. If someone has one of these, their moment of deepest despair can literally rip open space and summon Griffith (or "Femto" to his demon friends) and his four pals, who are collectively called the God Hand. They can perform THE INVOCATION OF DOOM (yeah really, I know) which severs a person from their humanity, ending their suffering and despair forever and making them a powerful, immortal demon. The price (for there must always be a price) is this: a person the demon contractee deeply loves, so much so that they are a part of their soul, is branded with a sacrificial mark and so given over to the powers of hell. This is the brand that Guts has. We get a flashback: Griffith used to be human (and pretty). He and Guts were close. So that's how that story goes. Anyway, the first time around, the Count sacrificed his wife to escape despair. This time, if he wants to not die, he can sacrifice Theresia. Only he doesn't do it. He hangs onto that scrap of humanity, and dies, and is sucked away to hell forever. (Vargas is also trapped in hell apparently and I actually fucking screamed because that's not fucking fair, he was nice, he didn't deserve that?? Apparently if you get involved with demons to any degree, even if all you want is revenge against one, bam, hell forever. What the fuck) So the portal to hell closes up, Guts narrowly escapes, and there's poor Theresia, having just lost everything and learned the horrible truth about her parents, and Guts straight up tries to goad her into killing herself. y e a h maybe if i was a better person i wouldve ragequit but damned if i don't have an addiction to awful shit so let's keep going lol Theresia is about to do it (she's like fucking ten) but then the part of the floor she's sitting on (which is all wrecked from Guts fighting her demon dad) crumbles, and Guts saves her from falling to her death. Guts is...he seems to kind of realize what he was doing, and it's really heartbreaking and fucked up and please read Berserk you guys, but: Theresia points out that everything got all fucked because of Guts intervening, and vows to kill him. Guts is like "well as long as you want to kill me at least you have a reason to stay alive lol" and then...well Spoiler: him sad i think...guts is...kind of messed up, guys. so thats the guardians of desire arc. tomorrow: Guts' Tragic Backstory
-sets up camp- man, i remember reading those when i was waaaay too young. roshinu was always one of my favourites.
okay to the surprise of no one I’m not actually in a mood to liveblog Every Horrible Thing That Can Happen To A Child, The Manga, being as it’s Christmas merr crisis yall
Late merry christmas to you as well. And may Guts wear a Santa hat and not have to murder something for at least 4 seconds.
AND WE'RE BACK When I left you last, we were about to segue into a flashback, which is sorta going to explain how Guts got where he is and why he's like this This is the Golden Age arc, and it...doesn't...start off...very golden... Spoiler: bunch of dead people You see that baby? That's Guts. Who was literally just "born" out of the body of his hanged mother, which is honestly the most METAL FUCKING THING I'VE EVER HEARD (I'm coming to realized that events in this manga can be broadly divided into three categories: metal, fucked up, and sad. This is fucked up but metal.) So poor baby Guts gets scooped up by these traveling mercenaries, and if being born out of a corpse wasn't bad enough, things only get worse for the kid. His life is sort of broken up into three-year increments for some reason, so at age 3 his adoptive mom dies of plague, and at age 6 Guts is made to carry weapons on the battlefield (yeah really) and is trained in swordfighting (read: physically abused) by his adoptive father ("father") Gambino. (This is also why Guts uses such a huge fucking sword as an adult, he was training with adult-size weapons as a bab and he just scaled up) Spoiler: and this happens which is SO METAL but SO SAD holy shit Time moves on, babby Guts is cute, and Gambino treats him like garbage. Spoiler: he really is so cute (hes talking about Gambino, who gave him that cut across his nose. Gambino evidently treats him with just barely enough regard that the poor kid still wants to please him. also if you look at the panels I've posted of him as an adult, Guts still has that scar. which is pretty ._. ) So at 9, Guts is already a fully-fledged warrior and is expected to pull his weight in this mercenary band. No wonder he treats killing people like swatting flies, jeez, can you imagine? And then. well. Okay full disclosure, I've been partially spoiled for this part of the story, and I know what happens next. it's one of the things people talk about when they talk about Berserk because it's really fucked up and upsetting. God I was screaming during this whole part because of how much I didn't want it to be happening, and even though I knew it was coming it was still way worse than I was expecting. Like it's not unduly graphic, but i was expecting a cut to black and that doesn't happen. Spoiler: CSA discussion, no images what happens is, Gambino literally sells Guts (still only 9 at this point) to one of the men in his band for a night. like i said, it's not extremely graphic, but emphasis is put on how much physically smaller Guts is than his rapist, and how powerless he is. Guts also learns in the midsts of this that Gambino was the one who let this happen. i won't post the page but g o d the look on his face. Gambino of course pretends to know nothing about this the next morning, so poor Guts clings to the idea that Gambino might really have had nothing to do with it. also Guts takes the opportunity to kill his rapist the next time they're on the battlefield. hoorayyyyy .-. i really don't want to be talking about this so much but what struck me was: this wasn't a consequence of like, demon shit or anything? probably the most horrible action a human being can ever commit, and it's just that: human. just simple, banal, human cruelty. and that's what makes it so much fucking worse. so uh. that's. why Guts hates being touched. god this poor fucking kid. time moves on. Guts turns 11. Gambino continues to treat him like garbage. I could go into all the shit this rat fucking bastard says and does but i'm just really tired now. watching every horrible thing that can possibly happen to a little kid takes it out of you. the upshot is that Gambino shows up drunk in Guts' tent one night rambling about how Guts is bad luck and he deserves to die and also by the way that one horrible thing that happened to Guts, you know what I'm talking about, was definitely his fault, and Guts kills him. you can basically see the exact moment where his heart shatters into pieces Spoiler: here we go so the rest of the mercenaries are gonna kill Guts for killing their leader, but he escapes and just... Spoiler: gore in this panel but also ._. this whole piece, under the stars, I...fuck. i've seen some caps of this series before and i've been spoiled for some stuff like i said, but nothing like this. it's just. I didn't know this manga could be like this. everyone talks about how fucked up it is but this part is just...quietly beautiful, bitterly sad. i don't really know what else to say. this just really got to me. Spoiler: if you can hear that it's the sound of my heart breaking Guts meets some wolves. this whole sequence is so strange and dreamlike, but it's like he's ready for them to kill him and then just starts fighting back on automatic. there's still a part of him that can't bear to not survive and...yeah. yeah, i can attest to that. no matter how awful everything is. no matter how much you want to end. there's a piece of you that will keep clawing and fighting to live it's not really something that's good or bad, imo. it just is. he passes out and gets picked up by some other mercenaries. and dreams of gambino: Spoiler: this poor fucking kid time moves on. when we see Guts next, he's 15, still fighting, and still a sellsword. there's a battle and he kills this one really tough guy, whatever. I intended this to be a lot shorter, but god, there was so much to react to. Tomorrow: GRIFFITH
Ooof. It's been a while since I read Berserk and I forgot just how much of a punch it has sometimes. Very much enjoying the liveblog!
When I left you last, we just got done seeing Every Awful Thing That Can Happen To A Defenseless Child, the Manga, and then teenage Guts beat a guy Said guy was like, a miniboss, apparently, and some other guy watching the stream of this battle are impressed with Guts' speedrun and wants him to join his pro gaming team: Spoiler: im showing this page cause of the asterisk I know what a fucking squire is, Dark Horse, come on. Guts says pro gaming is for chumps and is about to leave, and then the guy grabs his shoulder. Guts Takes Issue With This. Violently. (._.) Also someone else watching this stream also likes Guts' speedrun and I should probably stop belaboring this awful metaphor, but it's Griffith. Wearing a helmet that looks just like the Femto one! Guts goes on down the road looking for more violence to do, and happens to pass by a hill where Griffith's (pro gaming team) mercenary band are hanging out, and they're all like "ooo, it's that guy." It is impressed once again on the reader that Griffith Is Pretty. Spoiler: he is quite pretty (Also one of Griffith's guys is called Corkus and what the fuck kind of name is Corkus? Like I can forgive Guts cause it's pretty cool even though it's edgy, but Corkus is very definitely a "Japanese guy trying to invent Western-sounding names" name) Anyway, some of Griffith's guys go down the hill to kill Guts, only Guts kills them back cause that's how Guts do. He doesn't manage to kill one person, who is clearly plot-relevant because they don't die, and there's a Face Reveal Spoiler: surprise! (why are her ears rounded?) this is Casca! she's pretty cool but Guts beats her :( Griffith stops him from killing her tho, and fights Guts himself. Guts has a higher Sp. Attack stat but Griffith outspeeds, and stabs Guts so that he can't use his sword arm, but Guts does his whole indomitable-will, I-can-still-fight thing and stands back up to slash at Griffith...only to promptly collapse. This is a good time for Griffith to dramatically remove his ominous helmet, so we can see just how pretty he is: Spoiler: gets a whole damn splash page and Guts passes out, because he lost a lot of blood and what he has left is now concentrated in his massive boner, probably and now i immediately feel bad for making that joke, because the start of the next chapter is Guts having a nightmare of himself as a naked child being pursued by a massive faceless figure while Gambino watches and laughs because...trauma is...clearly still a thing... Half-dreaming Guts is freaking out cause someone's touching him, only he wakes up and realizes it's Casca, who's curled up to him. He relaxes cause it's only a girl. Also notes that she has nice eyes. Then Guts wakes up for real and immediately thinks of how pretty Griffith is: Spoiler: im not even kidding Guts is in Griffith's mercenary camp. He goes out and spots Casca having an argument with Griffith, and the she comes over, shoves Guts' wounded shoulder, and tells him she wishes Griffith had just killed him. So she evidently was not snuggling out of affection. A nice young man with a ponytail (his name's Judeau, which is at least better than Corkus) informs Guts that Griffith made Casca keep Guts warm while he was unconscious, and this is apparently a girl's job, so Casca's pissy over it. Can't say I blame her, sexism sure isn't fun and Guts probably doesn't smell too great. (Btw, the mercenary camp feels really bright and alive, there's guys in the background of all these panels talking and laughing and whatever. It feels nice, in a way the merc camp in the tragic backstory didn't.) So Griffith comes over and remember how I was just saying there was all this background stuff going on? That deadass fades away like everything going quiet for a romantic moment and it really is...super homoerotic... Spoiler: see for yourself! then Griffith complements Guts'...sword... Spoiler: I'M NOT KIDDING! While this is happening, we get introduced to the peanut gallery of Griffith's merry mercenary friends, who get one establishing trait each: Judeau (nice), Corkus (jerk), Rickert (little kid), and Pippin (doesn't talk much) Then Griffith, and Griffith's obvious flair for the dramatic, take Guts up to the top of a hill, so the wind can blow through Griffith's perfect hair and he can talk to Guts about his awesome mercenary club. They call themselves the Band of the Hawk. Guts is familiar with the name, because they have a reputation for being incredibly awesome and all. And...I'm sorry for posting so many pages but I need you to see what I mean when I say this shit is extremely gay Spoiler amusingly, I'm not the only one who thinks so: Spoiler: guts don't be rude (please note that Griffith doesn't say yes, but he doesn't say no either, and he doesn't get all insulted and stuff, which is the typical trajectory of that joke. Interesting.) Griffith notes that Guts rushes into battle like he's more than willing to risk his life (._.) but something about Guts' tenacity and will to survive fascinates him. He's like...genuinely really cute and nice about it?: Spoiler Guts, utterly unable to take a compliment, chooses to determine whether or not he joins the Band of the Hawk in the language he best understands: Violence! Spoiler: f slur (guts, don't say things like that about yourself...god this kid...) (I could also make some kind of joke about "swordfighting" but uhhhh) So they fight and it's super cool (with the whole band cheering them on) and THIS FUCKING HAPPENS: Spoiler: a key part of Pretty is Cool then Guts bites Griffith's sword (which, i don't want to assume but...UHHH) and then the volume ends! next: more homoerotic fighting!
