You know what? Fuck you. I have ADHD and Asperger's syndrome. I can't schedule a time to schedule an appointment over the fucking phone two weeks before my meds run out. I don't fucking care if not scheduling people further than two weeks in advance "cuts down on absenteeism." I'm fucking sorry if I misread the way you said I can't schedule appointments while I'm coming out from my last appointment to be a non-verbal signal meaning you didn't want me coming in very often, but know what, that's the result you're gonna get if you make it almost impossible for me to contact you at all! And you know what, fuck you for deciding to punish patient cancellations by waiting to reschedule until someone else cancels. I did the fucking responsible, painful thing to do by fucking calling in to say I couldn't make it. And yeah. It wasn't 24 hours notice. That's because you called me yesterday to schedule me today and I stupidly said OK instead of stopping you to make the fucking phonecall end. And don't think I don't fucking know that "We'll wait for someone else to cancel and get back to you" means "We're never going to call you back and then we're gonna yell at you for screwing up when your meds run out." And what's even the fucking point of making an appointment when any med change I request is just gonna result in medicaid sending me more formal refusals in the mail? I don't care. I DON'T CARE. YOU CAN ALL GO FUCK YOURSELVES. I DON'T FUCKING CARE. ... I'm writing this so I don't lose my shit at any receptionists at the county mental health facility. They're overworked and underpaid and none of this is their fucking fault. I'm tired, my head hurts, my tear ducts are burning. Fuck this shit.
aww man this sucks balls and not in the fun way :( doctor's offices especially should be way better about accessibility ffs.
Yeah. This is a change that happened just after they put a Republican in charge of handling state mental health systems. They shut down all the inpatient care facilities too. I just..... I don't know if I can even justify not going in. I've done stuff this week and I'm tired, and I don't like any kind of interaction-with-strangers to come on this short notice, but I physically could have gone in, probably. And she said, when I called this morning, she said, "Are you sure you want to cancel? If you cancel, it will affect your refills," and I just. I got kind of mad. I'm calling you, telling you I can't come in, that is the thing I just said, I want to reschedule and they were just. No. I wouldn't have picked up the phone if I hadn't already made the decision, picking up the phone is actually harder for me than just physically going there, and... in which case, actually, why didn't i just physically go there and go to the appointment. Because I'm a lazy fuckwad, that's why. ... I went to my first appointment with this councilor yesterday. She asked me about stuff, how I was doing and such, and on the suicide/self harm topic I said it was good, because if you asked me when was the last time I thought of killing myself, I couldn't think of a specific time, but I could say, "Not yesterday," and that's been true for a while. But it might have only been true because I didn't have to deal with the county-mental-health-and-medicaid-insurance thing for about six months, and they pretty obviously don't want to keep paying for me to get treated, and probably more people don't want me to keep getting disability checks, and seriously, why do I even continue to exist when it's so fucking hard and nothing useful ever seems to come of it? ... I'm not actively suicidal, please don't freak out, anyone. sorry.
