When I was younger I used to get really, really intense second-hand embarrassment from movies and television shows. I can remember leaving the room and actually hiding in my closet at least once because the feeling was just that intense. Now that I'm older it's a lot less common for me, although an episode of The Office recently had me humming with my eyes closed and ears covered because of just how embarrassing the situation was. I've seen other people refer to second-hand embarrassment, so I know I'm not alone, but I'm curious if anyone knows how common it is or why it's a thing. (I suspect in my case, at least, social anxiety plays into it.)
So much of this. Some shows it is so hard to watch because it's so awful and painful to see them do that. It also happens to me more when I'm watching with others, but also when alone.
Oh god, I have this same problem. I've also gotten a little bit better now that I'm older, but sometimes I have to make noise to drown out awkward dialogue. I also get it in person - if someone does something that could be construed as embarrassing I feel so bad for them I'll actually blush an I can feel my chest getting splotchy because I feel so bad for them.
SAAAAME, i have always experienced this, to that same degree of intensity... i still plug my ears and cover my face/look away when i feel the embarrassment coming on.... in books/fic, if i feel like something horrifically awkward or humiliating is about to happen to a character, i'll skip a couple pages to see how it works out, and then work my way backwards because i'm too uncomfortable to read through the scene normally. it happens regardless of whether or not i'm with people, but if i'm alone it will sometimes lead to me abandoning a tv show because i'll pause it to avoid the embarrassment and then just. never start it again. it's the same thing for cringe-related comedy -- like bad auditions, mean-spirited pranks, viral videos of someone who's being laughed at (even if the person being laughed at is objectively terrible). i cannot watch it!! so what i'm saying is. i feel u
i get this really bad too. i actually couldn't watch the office for the same reason, and i remember it was almost entirely because of michael. he seemed to do the most embarrassing things. i kind of get this way about other emotions too though, when i'm reading and something big is about to be revealed (not necessarily an embarrassing thing) or a shocking plot twist happens on a show and someone is hurt, afraid, or killed because of it i get this overwhelming surge of emotion. i can't watch the movie gravity because just the commercial with the free floating "holy shit i'm gonna die" got to me.
I get this really bad too. It's possibly the worst when the characters aren't embarrassed at all but they are doing something I would be very embarrassed by. I'll agree that The Office was really bad for it--a lot of sitcoms are, really. It's also the reason why I appreciate Toy Story on a technical level but cannot bear to rewatch it--I spend nearly the whole middle of the movie embarrassed for Woody, Buzz, or both. I don't get secondhand embarrassment for real people I am directly interacting with nearly as often, and when I do, it's often not so intense (I was going to just say "for real people" but honestly, politicians are prime sources of secondhand embarrassment). I tend to hide my eyes or look away when I'm watching something and get secondhand embarrassment; I have also talked over the show/movie before. If I'm reading I will skim that scene. When I was younger I used to leave the room at strategic moments during TV and movies so I could pretend it wasn't happening because my parents kept asking why I was reacting so weirdly to things.
yeah, i tend to suddenly have finished with dinner when some particular segment of evening tv starts for some arcane reason, and i've ... wow, this is actually probably part of why i don't watch TV much anymore, when i still did i used to spend half the show moving around doing random stuff in the room so i could duck out for a suddenly urgent snack or bathroom break the second it got uncomfortable. hell, i'm watching a musical talent show at the moment and i have to have my laptop with me and hum or block out my ears when the very nice coachs explain gently to someone why they weren't chosen. i can't deal with seeing people getting humiliated on TV, whether it's for real in a talk show (lol let's mock that announcer girl rather than engaging with what she's actually saying lol) or as part of a scripted/plotted narrative on a show, it has caused me to drop a lot of series even when i'm told that the scene is short and made better later, i can't get through it. i also really hate it when actors don't sound realistic? like, they sound like they don't believe what they're saying or it's too obvious it's scripted or otherwise unnatural. i think it's why i like anime and other foreign languages shows with subtitles, i can read and not concentrate too hard on how well the actors are pretending to believe. and often on long, live-action tv shows it doesn't feel like they believe it, especially if it's dubbed. it's probably not anxiety though, but. it itches. no no this is fake i feel like you're laughing at me for trying to believe in your half-assed fakery, like it's coming with this subtext of "well i'm paid to act in this stupid thing, what's your excuse for buying it?" anyway i don't do tv much, at all. the news are usually fine?
ahhh same same same!! i've never been able to put that feeling into words before. mediocre acting makes me viscerally uncomfortable.
All of this It has led me to abandon books because I cannot get over the characters doing things that are so obviously going to lead to horrendous trouble And I cannot bear cringe comedy unless it's... well, I like the shows that play clips of people falling over in humorous fashions, I guess because I'm not being asked to invest in the people hitting the floor. And it's mostly accidental stuff and not pranks, so nobody has been cruel to anyone to make them fall off their bike or whatever. The Office is the fucking worst though. Anything that revolves around people being deliberately stupid just makes me feel sick.
Oh my god, same. It's actually gotten worse as I got older, at least from what I can tell (my memory is shit). I'm constantly leaving the room, pacing, covering my ears, etc when watching TV, to the point where I half-watch maybe two TV shows over literal years. It's much better with books, because they feel easier to escape from. Closing the book is much, idk, safer-feeling than pausing netflix.
