So the brain pills I started taking six months ago work really great for fixing my brain, but uhhh. Looks like I'm going to be switching off them soon. My partner says he thinks I had a seizure over the weekend--not the really obvious stereotypical tonic-clonic kind, a more subtle thing. I was talking to him and completely lucid, then stopped responding to anything he said and just kind of sat there staring for thirty seconds or so occasionally twitching like someone falling asleep. Then I came right back around and immediately attempted to resume the conversation. I have no memory of this happening but no reason not to believe him. (It is really scary to think that my consciousness can just check out for a bit and I could have no idea anything happened.) It was one thing in isolation, no one was sure what happened, I felt okay afterward, and we're not made of money, so we didn't go to the ER, but it kind of screwed up the weekend. (sorry about that fandom drama post guys i swear i'll get to it) I did have an appointment with the meds lady today, though. I was honestly too nervous to talk to her about the thing-that-maybe-was-a-seizure, but as it turns out, my blood pressure and resting pulse have both gone way up since starting the new med, which is enough reason to be worried in itself. I'm going to have blood work done to see what's going on in detail. I'm really not excited. Everything was going so well. Psych meds are a crapshoot.
They always are a crapshoot. Even things that aren't psych meds are a crapshoot. The thing about medicine is that all of them have side effects. I hope you can get something sorted out wrt to these particular crapshoots though :) This stuff doesn't sound fun. And I know it's hard, but next time please mention the 'seizure'! These things are important for proper medical care, and honestly, it sounds scary as fuck.
meds are such a crapshoot. i have previously written out symptoms i was having so i could just hand it over to the psych instead of talking myself out of mentioning anything. it worked pretty well, and the psych didn't act like it was an odd thing to do, which was reassuring. you might want to try that next time you see her.
@Emma Yeah, I know I should have brought it up. Especially since a couple things would make an awful lot more sense if that wasn't an isolated incident. I'm just really not used to being afraid to talk about stuff with my psych.
Why are you afraid to talk about this with your psych? I think that if you're scared of your psych you could probably benefit from changing to one you aren't scared of...
It's mostly that there's some part of my brain that insists that if a medical professional never tells me something terrible has happened, then it hasn't; and obviously the way to prevent that is to not say anything. Also of course there's the part where I could be making a big deal out of nothing and then just get laughed at. I mean, I can't even remember anything happening, what can I even say? I'm pretty good about talking to my psych about my standard brainweird because that's the whole point and if I don't say those things then how am I gonna get working medication? But this isn't really my standard brainweird. Anyway, I went and had a ton of blood tests done today--the psych ordered four separate tests, and I had to go in on a different day because they wanted me on an empty stomach and no meds. My regular place doesn't do testing on site, they send you out to another place and let them take the blood and then send in the results, so I didn't see my psych again. I'm betting it ends up something of a moot point because when the test results come in she's going to call me up and tell me to quit taking the meds.
even if she does tell you to quit taking these meds, she's probably going to suggest a different medication in their place. some are more likely to cause seizures than others, and if you're having them on this med, knowing that will give her a better idea of what new med will work for you. same thing you told us, really; what your bf said and that some other things would make sense if it wasn't the only time this has happened. maybe it would help to think of it as win/win? if it turns out that no, you weren't having a seizure, then yay, no seizures! and if it turns out that it was a seizure, then yay because knowing that will help you get on the sort of psych med that doesn't cause them.
Just describe what your boyfriend witnessed, and tell her about the other things that you say would make sense. Something like: "My boyfriend said I was talking to him and completely lucid, then stopped responding to anything he said and just kind of sat there staring for thirty seconds or so occasionally twitching like someone falling asleep. Then I came right back around and immediately attempted to resume the conversation. I have no memory of this happening but no reason not to believe him. (And this part I have just taken from your post, you can literally say it like that) I have a feeling this happened before because it would explain x, y, z." It's important to remember that the psych can't effectively help you if she doesn't know stuff :)
