Brain: Oh hey, that sure was some nice sex you just had. Me: Ayup. Damn good. Brain: Be a shame if you were to have an anxiety attack right now, huh? Me: Bitch don't do the thing Brain: I'mma do the thing Why is that happening? Nothing is consciously upsetting me, I don't have any intrusive thoughts. Just sudden, gut-churning anxiety. Thoughts?
Well, in my experience I have a lot of subtle anxiety triggers which can make a very low anxiety event become a very anxiety event. The subtle triggers often take me a long time to figure out they have happened, usually after I am anxious for no discernable reason. For example: hungry, hot, excessive sensory stimuli, being around too many people, and caffeine. I also have social anxiety that makes me fret about random social things which are annoying. So in general, my thought is there may be underlying stressors that you aren't consciously aware of and they are taking advantage of this event that is typically(?) low stress and it's making an event of it. I used to have lots of anxiety all the time and have collected a bunch of tricks to try and get it down. If you want some suggestions, just ask. But in any case, some internet *hugs* if you so desire.
I've been through a rough patch this year, but the past few weeks have been much better. I've upped the dosage of the meds I'm on and the anxiety attacks are down to once or twice a week, as opposed to every day, so I'm on the mend. That's partly why I was so confused that this one happened! I'd love some tips for calming me down, my current solution is to drink some peppermint tea and hide under a blanket until I feel better.
Things that worked for me: Self-care check - do I need some more hydration, have I eaten recently/well(sometimes eating lotsa tiny foods too often notches my anxiety up. I am make sure I have had a filling meal), do I need sleep, is it about time to take a shower, have I consumed any stressor foods(different for different people, but lotsa sugar, grease, or caffeine will have this effect on me) ect, fix if possible. Soothing sensory stimulation: candles, fuzzy blankets, calming music, tea, miraclemodus ect. I make sure not to do too many things at once because while they may be pleasant/enjoyable, they can become Too Much and make the anxiety worse. For what ever reason, I find that reading the "how to deal with anxiety/panic attack" guides online to be very soothing. I sorta half-heartedly follow the instructions, but reading them is what calms me down. Breathing. Okay, everyone says this. Iqf I can get the anxiety down to a certain point, it will finish off the anxiety for me, but it doesn't help me if the anxiety is already really high. These are all the ones I can remember atm. I have different methods for intrusive thought anxiety, but these will usually make them a bit easier to get rid of as well. Ah! Med changes. Fun times. I haven't been on medication before, so I don't really know how that changes things, but best of luck. Hope something works for you!
I was naturally hungry and tired afterwards, maybe that contributed? I'd not thought of performing a wellness check before, but it makes sense that those could be contributing. I've been ill a lot recently, in and out of hospital for the past two-three months, and I figured that was probably part of it, but it never occurred to me to look for other things as well. The meds I'm on, I've been on for 9 years now, and they are my wonderful lifesavers. I do not think I would be alive without them. All the doctor suggested was upping the dosage, which has worked well so far, and the only side effects I get is sleepyness and not-as-good orgasms. Which I will take and say thank you, because anxiety attacks are shit. Thanks for your tips!
Spoiler: nsfw but relevant I kind of experience sex as a controlled sensory overload, so that, yeah, as @rorleuaisen suggests, wellness checks tend to be super important for me so that it doesn't spiral into uncontrolled anxiety attack funtimes. I also tend to find that I need to actively take time to calm down afterwards, because I generally feel disoriented and a kind of proto-anxious, like not anxious quite, but could become that? So I solve that by mandatory cuddles (and by a partner who's understanding that everything can be fine but I still need soothing pets and comforts to help me not react like MY SENSES ARE FUCKED UP HELP ABORT MISSION). I'm not sure if that's necessarily relevant for you, but the kind of feeling of 'why am I anxious now? there is no reason?' after sex resonates with me, and that was the reason why and solutions for me, so hopefully at least anecdata help some.
That's pretty much how sex is for me too, and I've also implemented mandatory cuddles, but that's more just overwhelmed than anxious. Still, the two are likely related. Thanks!
