*fistbump* I had a total meltdown about dinner preparation over four hours ago. I'm calmer now, but post-meltdown my sensory issues are usually more reactive and so finding food is now even harder, and this is stupid. I'm probably just going to eat cereal + milk, for basic carbs/protien/fat ingestion, even if it will suck to eat cold food, bc i know that's a sensory okay on every other aspect.
today I bought a canister of yogurt and drank it. seven hundred calories. also had an avocado, a fried egg, and some electrolyte fluid. gonna buy more yogurt; that was a success.
Spoiler: arguably pro, gallows humor fad diets for the poor: have you tried not eating? fad diets for the middle class: eat whatever but freak out when you see the ingredients fad diets for the rich: hire a quack to personally vet every calorie of food you encounter, except if you're "networking" in which case eat whatever
I realized that over the last two months of crazy uncontrolled stress, I'd started undereating again. Previously, using MyFitnessPal was helpful for making sure I met calorie minimums (the convenience of the bar code scanner + the database of info on basic ingredients), but when I deployed it today to get back on track, I apparently just took a left turn into scrupulousity about my macros being balanced and a return of the food spoilage paranoia :/ I know I need to eat dinner but I am having a hell of a time convincing myself that anything is a good thing to eat.
if it has calories in it it's good for you. an angle for circumventing the executive dysfunction: pick the nearest thing, then see if you can find anything tastier?
I reverted to my default food (cereal & milk) and I feel better. I should probably start planning/buying more high protein snacks, and I should also probably not look at those colorful circle charts of macros so much :/ but I am definitely less freaked out than I was earlier.
Spoiler: hyperbolically questionable cope me, using a funnel attached to an IV tube to pour tap water directly into my bloodstream: My Death Will Not Be By Dehydration