talt (disordered eating/ED/food issues thread)

hi I'm bushwah and I'm malnourished

 

in the last 24 hours, I have eaten:

- about twenty cheerios
- an entire pie

 

*fistbump*

I had a total meltdown about dinner preparation over four hours ago. I'm calmer now, but post-meltdown my sensory issues are usually more reactive and so finding food is now even harder, and this is stupid. I'm probably just going to eat cereal + milk, for basic carbs/protien/fat ingestion, even if it will suck to eat cold food, bc i know that's a sensory okay on every other aspect.

 

I actually had peanut butter, and felt immediately better

cereal and milk is très validë

 

today I bought a canister of yogurt and drank it. seven hundred calories. also had an avocado, a fried egg, and some electrolyte fluid. gonna buy more yogurt; that was a success.

 

hell yeah get those ffff nutrients

 

Spoiler: arguably pro, gallows humor

fad diets for the poor: have you tried not eating?

fad diets for the middle class: eat whatever but freak out when you see the ingredients

fad diets for the rich: hire a quack to personally vet every calorie of food you encounter, except if you're "networking" in which case eat whatever

 

I'm always either painfully digesting, painfully hungry, or both fml

 

so far I have eaten today: about 10 prunes. about 1 pint milk.

I'm gonna shit dicks later.

 

me: *doesn't buy yogurt*
yogurt: *is not bought*
me: surprised_pikachu.jpg

 

I realized that over the last two months of crazy uncontrolled stress, I'd started undereating again. Previously, using MyFitnessPal was helpful for making sure I met calorie minimums (the convenience of the bar code scanner + the database of info on basic ingredients), but when I deployed it today to get back on track, I apparently just took a left turn into scrupulousity about my macros being balanced and a return of the food spoilage paranoia :/ I know I need to eat dinner but I am having a hell of a time convincing myself that anything is a good thing to eat.

 

if it has calories in it it's good for you. an angle for circumventing the executive dysfunction: pick the nearest thing, then see if you can find anything tastier?

 

I reverted to my default food (cereal & milk) and I feel better. I should probably start planning/buying more high protein snacks, and I should also probably not look at those colorful circle charts of macros so much :/ but I am definitely less freaked out than I was earlier.

 

Spoiler: hyperbolically questionable cope

me, using a funnel attached to an IV tube to pour tap water directly into my bloodstream: My Death Will Not Be By Dehydration