So... Anybody else having anger issues going on? I was told when I was a kid that it was never okay to be angry, never okay to lash out. You were supposed to be a sad, damp little doormat, because if you ever showed frustration then everything was your fault. I... internalized it pretty hard. So hard that I refused to believe I was experiencing anger. It had to be an emotion with some other name, because anger was bad. Anger was destructive. It only counts as anger when you turn beet-red and start throwing and smashing things. And I've been there; I used to have fits of violent rage pretty regularly, as a kid, before I started repressing the very concept of anger. I was angry for good reasons. My life was fucked and nobody cared. And that didn't change. I just... stopped admitting that I was angry. But now that I'm out of my parents' house, and I'm not being told that anger is evil... I find that I'm actually angry a lot. I'm not lashing out, not hurting anyone or breaking things. I'm doing pretty great, actually! I think this is part of the grief/recovery process for me, so I'm guessing that it's healthy? But I want to burn everything and punch walls, because some of the shit that's happened to me is fucking unfair, and I am not really okay with that. I don't really know what to do with these feelings. I have trouble differentiating between anger and happiness, anger and sadness, and trouble recognizing that I'm angry at all until I realize I'm listening to "Prison Sex" and "Somewhat Damaged" on repeat. It's not the sour taste of impotent rage; it's the cheerful, gleeful feel of "hahaha, fuck you, I win, you tried to fuck me up and you failed and I hate you". So, um... how does one deal with anger in a healthy way? Does it go away? Is it a bad thing?
I have been told channeling anger into something like kneading bread or similar is supposed to help. It doesn´t work for me but it might work for you? I can tell you from experience that trying to suppress it is definitely not healthy. Whatever you decide to do with the feeling, you Are allowed to be angry.
suppression tends to just make things worse and it is absolutely healthy to be angry once in a while. i tend to use music, art, writing, rping, or video games to help with expressing anger? i wish i knew more ways that would be helpful, but maybe just trying new ways to express yourself might help
I punch a dummy when I get very angry and need to do something with it. Other exercise would also help me, I just need to feel that muscle pain and exhaustion. It's possible that your anger feels big and unmanageable right now because you're just learning to recognise it. You'll get better at that so long as you keep not suppressing it. Anger can absolutely be a healthy emotion, so long as you don't use it to hurt people, and it doesn't sound like you're in danger of that.
oh hey! I'm usually at least a little pissed off at something so things that deal with anger: actually, I listen to music on repeat a lot. I find that I can come down a little to "allowed to socialize with humans" with one or two playlists I have, because they start off real angry and then eventually chill out I used to rip up paper but then I realized it was better if I drew on it instead. usually a lot of my draws happen because I was on the ticked off side of overloaded something that kind of helps if you can put yourself into the mood for it, is to try to trace back what the tipping point was -this- time, and then think over it a few times. but, I mean, it helps me because I have a couple different angries, and I can shut down some of them. so ymmv. but honestly, anger can be really healthy. like, the same way that sometimes forests need to be burned every once in a while to clear out the deadwood and rubbish. obviously if you go and burn down the same forest every day, it isn't gonna turn out well, but every so often, a good concentrated burn can be really good for you.
Thanks, guys. :) That helps a lot. @littlemissCodeless @Void That's a good thought, doing something productive. I've fallen out of the habit because I've been overloaded, and I have some Issues about cleaning and cooking because my parents' standards are bizarre and ridiculous. But maybe I can figure out something else to rage-do... Hmm. @oph Yeah, I think that's accurate; hopefully it'll feel smaller and less stressful soon. It's not really a scary feeling, it's just... hm, maybe not ideal? @Moss Oh, hey. I've actually never really tried to figure out what the ragetrigger is for these bouts of random rage; that's a good idea.
sometimes i do stuff that isn't even productive, so it's not a huge issue if you don't feel like doing cleaning, cooking, or whatever! just. anything that can help express or release the feelings generally can be good, as long as you don't hurt yourself or others
funny story, i started an angry thread ages ago (probably near when i joined?) that was also hulk themed. maybe some of the replies could be helpful? also, interesting data, possibly. i tend to get pissed the same way you do, randomly like that with a hint of super vindictive and way too wound up and for me it ended up i was actually having manic episodes. so... might be something to think about? i'm not saying you're bipolar and your angry could totally be different from mine but because i was raised pretty similar to you (the whole be a doormat because anything else is bad thing) when i'm manic and irrational is when i tend to get angry. edit: i agree with @Moss on the music thing by the way. the tone of a song greatly affects my mood, and when i'm listening to something fast paced and angry i'm going to stay angry. so if you start off with high energy songs and wind down to calmer stuff i find it works really well on getting chilled out.
