Trollstuck to the max (ALL THE FANDOMS)

Inspired by the 'what's your fave's God Tier?' thread, does anybody else just like go the whole hog and try to picture what your movie/book/TV series would be like if it was Alternian?

Like, X-men First Class is obviously the story of a rouge limeblood with psionics (Eriikk, or however you'd spell that) on a rampage after the highbloods who experimented on him and killed his lusus to make him lose control. Xavier (hey, that one matches up!) is a well-to-do blueblood with mind powers who falls-head-over-heels pale for this absolute wreck of a troll, to the dismay and eventual break up of his already unstable moiraillegence.(Not sure where to put Mystique on the spectrum - midblood, maybe olive or teal?)

(Features severe quadrant vacillation, some maiming of highblooded trolls, and an intensely pale scene rated R+)

I am tired and will think of others tomorrow, but this is something I do a lot. Oh! Also Teen Wolf had to be bumped up a rating because of the sheer amount of pale makeouts between Stiles and Scott in the end of the 3rd season. (I haven't seen season 4 yet or beyond so plz tag spoilers XD)

 

i'd actually put her and some other mutants who have more obvious mutations that are less hide-able pretty low on the hemospectrum, because they'd get similar societal treatment and i think the lower bloods are more likely to have more dramatic mutations. like, i could see a maroonblood or brownblood being desperate enough to do the break in scene with xavier and mystique a little easier than a midblood. of course potentially she could be any blood if her shapeshifting powers translated over like that.

 

Hamilton is a black romance triangle. Burr kill Hamilton because he publicly chose Jefferson as his kismesis over Burr. Also the Alternian version has a different ending/epilogue where Condy reconquers the colony and everyone has learned the lesson that its hard being a ruler. It's hard and no one understands. Thus making all of King George III's/Condy's songs ominous foreshadowing rather than comedy.

...so no, no I don't think about these things at all

 

Hamilton desperately needed a moirail and an auspistice. Maybe two of each. Instead...Angelica was red for him but trying to be a long-distance moirail, which predictably failed to keep him from making a mess of his private life. For a while, Washington did a damn good job as his auspistice in the Hemostuck model. He kept Hamilton's tendency to turn every political interaction into pitch solicitation under control and aimed him in a productive direction. But when Washington stepped down, Ham's public life went off the rails too.

No, I definitely haven't thought about Hamilton as a troll drama a lot.

 

Batman is a highblood in the worlds most ridiculous and unstable blackrom ever with cerulean vriska-type troll Joker. They need an auspistice so fucking badly it's unbelievable.

Meanwhile take no shit jade blood Poison Ivy hooks up with Harley pale, breaks up her nasty faux-redrom with Joker and they live happily ever after.

edit: ALTERNATELY and possibly going the other way

Spoiler: star was spoilers

Empress Snoke has the mutant Karkatylo Ren under her thumb, much to the regret of the Sufferer/Summoner rebellion who raised him. Spoilt violetblood Hux has a great disdain for the mutant and doesn't see his value.

 

See I saw Washington as Hamilton's moirail. "It’s alright, you want to fight, you’ve got a hunger/I was just like you when I was younger/Head full of fantasies of dyin’ like a martyr?/Dying is easy, young man. Living is harder" reads as pretty pale to me

 

I like that interpretation too! I got an ashen vibe off the scenes in Meet Me Inside and Cabinet Battle #1, where Washington is all exasperation and "stop trying to fight the world, it's counterproductive", but I agree that that bit of Right Hand Man and One Last Time could read very pale. Hmm...

 

When in doubt? Quadrant vacillation. If you don't know, hey, maybe they don't either.

 

*CAMPS. THE FUCK. OUT. SETS UP A TENT AND STARTS A FIRE. TOASTS SOME GOSHDANG MARSHMALLOWS AND MAKES SOME GOL-DURNED S'MORES.*

 

scuze me while I just quote myself here:

Possibly also in Troll Star Wars, the goal of the Rebels is to reinstate the true Empress or her Heiress after Palpatine staged his coup.

 

@adisagestar that's so messed up i love it.

 

@adisagestar I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

 

OH also, I was talking to someone about an alternian zootopia au the other day, @lupadracolis was that u?

judy is the optimistic midblood legislacerator who thinks loves justice and helping people! she's ready to make alternia a cleaner, safer place until she meets psionic lowblood nick, who knows first hand that alternia's biased and violent justice system is horseshit. they have to team up to solve a crime plot that puts nick in very real danger but

Spoiler: zootopia spoilers i guess

it's only affecting psionics, right? a normal troll could never go savage. psionics just have more power, it's natural. they're scary to an innocent, powerless midblood like her. nick, having been forced into psionic dampeners before, is naturally furious about her shitty casteist assumptions.

but it all works out in the end, probably.

 

BUFFEE THE DAYWALKER SLAYER
That is all, carry on.

 

So. I'm rereading John Dies at the End by David Wong for the umpteenth time, and I just came to the shocking realization that the main characters are...

John, the screwball, joking prankster everyone can't help but like
and
Dave, the guy with a fucked up childhood clinging desperately to any scrap of sanity he can manage

Neither of them are explicitly described and I am way too Homestuck for this.

 

that was my thought upon reading it tooo

Spoiler

also, clone dave, dead daves, etc. too much accurate.

 

Spoiler: Also

Korrok is absolutely a horrorterror I mean come on

 

Spoiler: yes

I think he's the result of a horrorterror and caliborn having an ectobaby.

 

Absofuckinglutely.

Of course now, it's "Okay where are the other two? Which one is Amy?"

Which I immediately answered with "She has to be Rose, because Molly has to be Jade!"

(Abnormally situationally smart, has shit under control in a weird way, happy ans excited all the time, is also a dog)

 

this is exactly accurate. yes, perfection.
"is also a dog" XD