So, basically, I fucked up, my college payment is three days or so late and I have no scholarships. If you were on Skype last night, you probably heard my freak out. I tried to talk to my parents about taking a semester off, but they refused and said it was all my fault because I'm not trying hard enough and that my brain weird is cause I don't eat right and don't exercise enough, and that getting me a therapies would be useless because they'd say the same. Other comments include the fact that I'm playing the victim, shouldn't use stuffed animals for comfort because I'm in college and shouldn't be childish, and that I should give them access to all of my accounts because I can't take care of myself. Also that if I don't make decisions they will make them for me. (Ignoring where I had already said what I wanted to do.) The other thing is that while they were yelling I sorta curled up in a ball and started rocking back and forth, and everything just went gray and I sorta shut down. Um, and then I couldn't talk for like an hour something afterwords. I'm still working on getting complete sentences out. Uh, am I finding out that I'm actually a malfunctioning robot and my parents have been hiding it as part of a secret government science project regarding lifelike androids, or is this something normal? (Note: I don't actually think I'm an android)
oh man, shit D: try calling the school and work something out maybe? i wouldn't be surprised if they have to deal with a whole lot of late payments every year anyways, so i bet something can be figured out.....!!
We can turn it in late, there's gonna be a late fee of like $50, on top of all the money for the actual classes. Ugh. We can't do anything till Thursday, cause the money needs to be in my account to pay.
Well, I think your parents are huge assholes, for starters. That greyout shutdown thing is something I've done under extreme stress - like back when I regularly had someone try to tear me down like your parents are clearly doing to you. Telling you to give up your soft toys and relinquish control of your accounts to them is some scary controlling behavior, imo. They're also full of shit. A therapist would not say the same thing as them. A good therapist would help you find ways to get on track with taking care of yourself. I don't have any actual advice, which I'm sorry about. :( I hope the validation helps though.
mffhfhfhFHGFJDJ late fees.........gross, college is too expensive, RIP everyone do NOT let them access your accounts though, that would be not great considering they seem to think just pushing you into stuff you're not into is a-ok i dunno if you have any plans for a semester off besides "relaxing and recovering and working with brain stuff", which is a totally reasonable thing btw, so maybe try explain either your plans or your reasoning to them so they can realize that you're not trying to take a semester off because you're lazy, you have reasons for the things you want to do.....alternatively, if they won't accept your reasoning, figure out some plans that won't be too stressful for you? example: someone i know is taking a gap year before college, his parents weren't too happy about it but he explained that he's going to be using the year to cope with brain stuff, transition (he's trans), and in the meantime he's going to get a job as a pharmacy tech in order to save some money to pay for actual college.
One thing about going back to college is that they should have counseling services you can use without involving your parents. If you did take time off, would you be stuck with them? Being stuck with people who are that disinterested in your wellbeing is not advised.
Don't got any advice, but my sympathies, dude. Your parents are being jerks, and I'm really sorry. Oh, I've got a little scratch to spare, so. If you want a little treat or need like 20 bucks to help cover the late fee, I can send that your way, maybe? The spreadsheet in the wishlist thread said to ask you before sending anything, so is that okay right now?
The validation does help, thank you :) Gods no, there's no way they're getting into any of my stuff. This is the first time I've been thankful for the stupid constant password change program my schools got. I already know they won't accept my reasoning, cause they refuse to realize there is probably actually something wrong with me. I'm just taking classes I'm probably gonna be good at, so I probably burn out LESS, but still not good. They do, and I should probably use them. Yes, sorta. My parents are out at work a lot, so I could PROBABLY avoid them. I think. Thanks :) Um, yeah, just needs to be sent to my friends house. Just pm me or something.
If a therapist did say the same, they would be a shitty therapist. I can't speak to whether therapy would or would not be useful for you, but characterising all therapists as shitty and unhelpful is a dick move on your parents' part. If it makes you feel any better, I'm in university and I sleep with a stuffed animal every night that my partner's not here, and squeeze it in anxiety attacks. ...That's kinda really creepy, and I'm glad you're not considering it. Like, that's just really controlling, especially as you are an adult, and eugh. Definitely within the bounds of human experience. I mean, it probably signifies some kind of brainweird, but that's already something you have down, so. Also, I'm sorry they are being so shitty. That really sucks, and you have all my sympathies.
@Lib Thank you :) it's super weird considering my mom's in therapy, and it seems to be helping her! Yes, good! A lot of people do, I'm not sure why that's what they're focusing on. This isn't the first time mom, at least, has tried something like this. She's also tried to take away all of my communication-y stuff, but that was before she was on meds and back when she thought the government was using them to control me, soooooo :) glad to know
Hi Mom! Don't do this. I did this, and they'd take "rent" money without telling me, often at horrible times like "Okay I am going to buy actual real people food today and pay rent with my next cheeeeehhh. :card declined: Oh." and I'd have money mysteriously go missing. This is also how they were able to sign me up for a ridiculous loan in my name without telling me as a way to "help" when I lost my scholarship. You mean like how I was unsure of how to sign up for classes and what I needed to take so Mom signed me up for an insane courseload with bad timing? And the loans? Not a whole lot of advice beyond "Boundary the fuck up" and "Therapy will probably help, your parents are misinformed." Your school should provide counselling, and from there you may be able to get a referral out. Maybe with recommendation from a counselor they'll be more open to a therapist.
This seems to be a theme, huh? XD yeah, there is no way in hel I'm letting them in my accounts, holy shit. I can be a wimp sometimes, but I am not going to put up with that. :screaming: So far, the boundaries I've been clear on today are "DO NOT GO IN MY ACCOUNTS," "DO NOT TOUCH MY STUFFED ANIMALS," and, accidentally, "IF I'M BSOD-ING DO NOT TOUCH ME ON PAIN OF ANGRY SLAP FLAILS"
