Seen my doctor and got a referral letter to a shrink but he tells me there'll be a waiting list at best and they might decide I'm not serious enough to be seen even though I've spent a significant segment of each of the last ten years wanting to die. I don't think I can afford a private therapist. I don't know how much longer I can do this.
The fact that you're having suicidal ideation shows that you should be seen, and if they were to refuse I definitely think you'd be within your rights to reapply. Just try and remember when you're filling out the intake assessments to fill them out as you are on your worst days. For instance, if on the day you're filling out the assessment you feel pretty good, don't answer as if you always feel that way - answer with how you feel when you feel the worst. Good luck!
Did that at the doctors'. Fingers crossed. I guess I could borrow money from my parents for private psychiatry if necessary. I'm not really sure if what I'm doing now qualifies as mood swings. I was a puddle of misery last night, now I'm forcibly distracting myself to stop from dissolving into tears again but I'm laughing a lot at random shit.
witnessed. i'm on a ridiculous waitlist myself right now. i'm pretty sure that a pattern of suicidal ideation over years would qualify you for help in any reasonable system.good luck!
Holding together better right now. If all goes well I intend to ask the psych about mood stabilisers, as I hear they help in treatment-resistant depression and anecdotal evidence from Seebs and co suggests SSRIs are less likely to work on AS folks like me. Does anyone have any input on what taking mood stabilisers is like and if they work for you?
Assessment appointment went okay, now, hooray, more fucking waiting! I have to keep taking the meds I'm on now which aren't consistently helping for another few weeks to prove that they're not helping :(
Urge to cry for no reason, and I'm pretty sure I'm getting auditory hallucinations. I'm definitely over-interpreting the sound of the neighbours moving around; every time I hear a noise it sounds like a knock at my door. It's not helping my sleeping pattern :(
Oh, I see. Do you think playing soft music would help? I've found it can make all the other noises that come from living around people seem less annoying.
Maybe. I'll give it a go. Why is it that when I feel the need to cry, it won't come, yet when I want to not cry, I can't stop? :( I don't even know why I want to cry now.
Managed to cry for a few minutes and felt better. It comes and goes. I know why the psych has to go through all this rigmarole but it doesn't make it any more fun. Ergh. I just wanna be able to function.
I have to go into town for a weeks' course which might get me work and all I want to do is stuff down chocolate and sleep.
