what constitutes a personality disorder?

I don't have a lot of experience with personality disorders; so far as I know I'm not close with anyone who has one, and I don't think I know anybody with a formal diagnosis of one. I have read a lot of Seebs' interaction with and posting of content from people with personality disorders, so I've got sort of an idea of how people with them feel, but I would like to like to know more!

also I have somewhat of a personal stake in this in that I'm wondering if I might possibly have a personality disorder (or several), specifically in Cluster B or C. this is not a well-reasoned or -considered theory, necessarily; it's just a possibility that I think I should look into if at all possible. the thing that's raised my suspicions is that I feel like I do have an unusual personality, and this personality is injurious to me (and occasionally to other people, but not very often). specifically, I have a tendency towards dependency and clinginess, fairly severe social anxiety, a very negative self-image, an excess of self-doubt, a tendency towards exaggeration and/or catastrophizing when anxious, a craving for attention generally, a disproportionately negative reaction to criticism, and what I would generally describe as emotional oversensitivity. problem is, all that could be BPD or HPD or APD or DPD, and I have no idea how to differentiate. it's also hard to tell how unusual or strong those traits are, if that makes any sense—I don't necessarily trust myself as a self-evaluator, and generally I can't go up to people and go "how dependent are you?"

so if anybody with personal experience with Cluster B and C personality disorders generally and particularly with the four specific ones I listed could perhaps help me to learn a little more about them, that'd be great! also I would very much appreciate it if anyone's willing to try and help me figure out what's going on with my personality and if I should look into a diagnosis.

 

thanks for the rec! I'm eager to check it out.

okay, thanks for giving your opinion on which cluster it might be. that makes sense to me. and yeah, I think I'm going to bring it up with my psychiatrist when I see him next. even if it doesn't turn out to be diagnosable it's certainly something that could do with being talked about in a therapeutic setting. and it's absolutely not prying! I am ready and willing to share the darkness depths of my personality with Internet People in hopes of some insight. ask me all the questions you want. and to answer you, I don't think so? I really hate negative attention, and I don't feel like I've ever done anything that could qualify as "acting out." also I am deathly afraid of being inappropriate in any given situation, so.

 

okay, sorry, I don't remember your name exactly enough to ping you, but, person who replied to this thread earlier today, is there any reason you're willing to discuss that you deleted your response? anything that I did, particularly, and that I could fix? feel free to PM me if you'd prefer.

hold on, I think I remember: are you @majora? if so please respond if you can.

 

@majora oh, okay! I'll keep that in mind. although just for the record your response to me was not at all stupid; it was helpful and well-informed, and the book you recced has been very interesting so far.

 

I posted this in a different thread, but it may be helpful for you. I'm diagnosed with BPD and have been for several years.

 

@KathyGaele That is interesting - and shows a big difference from my autistic meltdowns.

Mine start like this - but the rest doesn't happen. I spiral into increasing "can't deal with it", usually expressed as rage, until something stops it from outside me (ativan is nice) or I sleep. Once it passes it is done. I probably won't even remember it.

 

Yeah, I experience sensory overload as well and it's completely different for me than the effects of my BPD spirals. I find I don't get angry very often when overloaded, or if I do it manifests as extreme frustration. More commonly I will just completely shut down, become near-unresponsive, or experience a kind of lag between becoming aware of something and being able to act on it. My sense of direction goes right out the window and depth perception becomes much more difficult as well - I might reach for a glass of water and miss it repeatedly, or knock it over, and even if it's passed to me I have issues making my fingers grasp the thing.
I'll find myself in a corner, or if the environment is safe I'll hide under furniture or under blankets. If I manage to sleep that usually resets me. Other than that I can calm down over time if someone removes the most distressing thing or it passes on its own.
I had a terrible time in hospital last month, I was overloaded by pain and the bright lights and beeping of the heart-rate monitor on top of hospital noises, and then someone started yelling and threatening the staff and it triggered my PTSD. Looking back though, it was kind of gratifying to note that the heart-rate monitor went apeshit when I was overloaded, and even more so when I was having the panic attack. Helped assure me it wasn't all in my imagination.

 

I have Avoidant Personality Disorder, which. Is an adventure.

I'll try to explain what AvPD is like for me.

Spoiler: long and depressing

Basically, I see myself as inferior to other people. I have this deep-seated belief that I am a disgusting monster, and that I'm here pretending to be a Real Person, but I know that, eventually, people are going to see underneath. To borrow from Hannibal, I'm certain that they'll see the stitches in my person suit. And then they'll see how disgusting and wrong and horrible I am, and they'll leave me or hurt me in some way as soon as they realise that I'm not really a person, that I'm really an annoying, selfish, messy, disgusting person.

And my reaction to this manifests in two ways, which I feel like kinda intersects with my OCD. When I have what I call AvPD attacks, I become terrified of being around other people. I will wait in my room until I can't hear anyone moving around the house, and if I have to go out I'll either try really hard not to go out, or I'll put in headphones and sunglasses and hope desperately that no one sees me or tries to talk to me. The entire time my head is just, "Don't look at me don't look at me don't look at me." I know that if people look at me, their eyes will strip away the layers and see the real me underneath, and they'll hate me or hurt me. I can feel their eyes burning into to me, I can feel their thoughts cutting me, I know that they can see me. And that's terrifying. So I hide.

During an AvPD attack, I'll become convinced that I don't deserve any sort of human contact, that I cannot burden others with my disgusting existence, and so I have to hide, have to stay away from people so they won't hate me for daring to exist. Because I know I don't deserve to be here, and of course everyone else knows it too, so I can at least have the decency to shut myself away.

On the flipside, I try as hard as I possibly can to justify my existence, which comes with an immense amount of guilt, and this is where I can't tell if it's AvPD or OCD or some horrific combination of both. I try to help other people, clean or help with homework, donate money, stuff like that... Including denying myself food since other people deserve it more than me. Denying myself sleep, because how dare I selfishly sleep? When an AvPD attack happens, I freak the fuck out if other people try to do things for me, because no, you can't do that, you're a person, you can't do things for an un-person, and I become convinced that they're somehow doing this to punish me, that they're reminding me that I'm not a person... Somehow. Like they're saying, "Look how awful you are, making me do this for you."

The same with like, people being sad or suffering. I want to repent by absorbing everyone's suffering. I can suffer because I am an un-person, but everyone else is a Person, so they are not allowed to suffer. Them suffering means that I have failed, otherpeople suffering is somehow my fault for existing. If I had only not existed, no one would suffer, because somehow my existence is hurting everyone because of how disgusting and wrong I am. So I have to repent by doing everything I can to alleviate suffering,so I'm the only one who's suffering.

AT THE SAME TIME, I desperately want friends and human connection. I want to be invited out and to be loved and happy. But I'm so terrified of people hating me and seeing me as a monster, that it's... very difficult.

Outside of an AvPD attack, I know this shit is irrational and I don't really believe? But I mean, I do also believe it at the same time. Ow, my head.

More and more lately, I am able to shout down the voice telling me I'm an inhuman monster that disgusts everyone when I'm not having an AvPD attack. But uh. Yes.

Why the fuck do brains.

 

@KathyGaele @Lissa Lysik'an thank you for sharing your experiences with BPD and sensory overload. I really appreciate your perspectives, and I think I learned a lot. also, Kathy, just for the record, you sound like an incredibly kind, thoughtful, and considerate person who puts in a lot of effort. I really admire your willingness to owe up to your mistakes and your disorder.

@a tiny mushroom that... sounds quite a lot like me, actually. I really don't like myself, and I always feel like I don't deserve the consideration other people give me. I also periodically hide myself away or keep my emotions to myself because I feel like I'm a burden to other people. I also feel like I need to keep other people from suffering, that I should be in pain to keep them from being. I also crave human connection a lot. but I don't specifically have the fear you mentioned of people discovering the real me? I am baffled as to why people like me, but I don't feel like I have to maintain a facade of respectability necessarily. I don't deserve to be liked, but I don't do anything to alleviate that, if that makes any sense. do you know if being afraid of people discovering the "real you" is a necessary diagnostic criteria for AvPD?
also I know your brain will probably not let you believe this, but if it's any help at all I can tell just from this post that you're not a monster at all. and I really appreciate your reaching out and sharing your experiences. thank you.

 

okay, so, before I dive into my experiences with the two personality disorders I think you could have (I'm not saying you have both, just suggesting it might be good to look into both, although PDs are often comorbid so you could definitely have more than one), I'm going to run through the symptoms you listed and tell you what PD I think each one fits into.
"dependency and clinginess" - sounds very DPD-ish.
"fairly severe social anxiety" - AVPD.
"a very negative self-image" - could be AVPD, DPD, or BPD, from my experiences.
"an excess of self-doubt" - AVPD or DPD.
"a tendency towards exaggeration and/or catastrophizing when anxious" - AVPD. definitely AVPD-sounding.
"a craving for attention generally" - could be DPD or BPD.
"a disproportionately negative reaction to criticism" - could be AVPD, DPD, or BPD.
"emotional oversensitivity" - probably DPD or BPD.
based on this, I'm thinking you have either DPD, AVPD, or both, so I'll spoiler for probable length and talk about my experiences with both.

Spoiler: dpd experiences

well, first things first: I'm gonna run through the DPD symptoms. so:

• inability to make decisions, even everyday decisions like what to wear, without the advice and reassurance of others
• avoidance of adult responsibilities by acting passive and helpless; dependence on a spouse or friend to make decisions like where to work and live
• intense fear of abandonment and a sense of devastation or helplessness when relationships end; a person with DPD often moves right into another relationship when one ends.
• oversensitivity to criticism
• pessimism and lack of self-confidence, including a belief that they are unable to care for themselves
• avoidance of disagreeing with others for fear of losing support or approval
• inability to start projects or tasks because of a lack of self-confidence
• difficulty being alone
• willingness to tolerate mistreatment and abuse from others
• placing the needs of their caregivers above their own
• tendency to be naive and to fantasize

now, what's DPD like for me? well, first off, I can't really make a decision on my own. I've always been indecisive, but it's only gotten worse over the years, and now my total inability to make decisions pretty much impedes my ability to do anything without input from others. you may notice that I make a lot of threads here asking for advice; that's because I need it in order to make a decision about anything, ever. unless I'm doing something on impulse, I can't do a thing without begging other people to make the decision for me, or without input at the very least. at worst, I have to get someone else to decide the thing for me; at best, I have to ask for advice, and then repeated reassurance that I'm making the right choice. I can make simple decisions and impulsive decisions on my own; I never struggle with what to wear or what to eat, and if I do struggle with that, I just don't change or eat, because it feels silly to ask for input on those. I can also impulse buy things perfectly well without reassurance, but after the fact I get really, really anxious over what I've just done and how others will react. I depend a lot on others to make my decisions for me, though, right down to "what should I buy for food this week".
I also have a tendency to avoid adult responsibilities; they scare me because they seem daunting and terrifying and involve lots of decision-making and having to be independent, which I think I am inherently bad at. I want to be taken care of more than anything, and I really can't deal with being pushed out on my own to make decisions or do things. I even avoid things like chores because they seem daunting and scary and adult-like. basically, I avoid anything that's not passive and childlike, and I have lots of childlike hobbies and things. I tend to behave like a child, not like an adult, not because I want to, but because I feel I need to in order to get others to take care of me, which is vital to my survival in my eyes. I think I can't survive on my own; I doubt my ability to handle myself and I have a huge fear of being independent because I'm utterly terrified my life would fall apart if I was alone. I have extremely low self-esteem and think that I'm completely incapable of handling anything on my own.
I'm super sensitive to criticism and I'm terrified of disagreeing with others, partly out of fear of losing them and partly out of fear of getting criticized for what I think. I can't stand disagreeing with people I care about or those I'm in a community with, it takes a lot for me to be able to disagree with them right out without getting super defensive and upset. I'm also really easily upset by criticism; if someone says anything remotely negative about me or anything I've done, I auto-equate it to "they hate me and the thing that I did, and I'm going to fall apart now because I can't do anything right". even constructive criticism has a tendency to make me cry or be upset, and I just really can't handle criticism of any kind, even if I ask for it. it feels like a personal attack on me.
finally, I have a huge fear of abandonment; I'm utterly terrified of being left alone and of having those around me leave me, and I'll do just about anything to avoid being abandoned, including take mistreatment and abuse from the people I care about, because I can't stand the idea of them leaving me. I'm so scared of being abandoned and left to my own devices by myself that I pretty much just find relationships to be in and people to depend on and stick with them until they leave me, inevitably. as much as I fear abandonment, I also feel it's pretty inevitable, which scares me even more, and I have extreme difficulty being alone. if I'm not talking to someone, I'm usually pretty anxious. I also have a tendency to feel that it doesn't matter what I want, it's all about what the other person wants, and I have extreme difficulty offering input on anything, ever, if it involves another person, because I'm scared that one wrong move or misstep will make them leave me. basically, I'm so scared of people leaving me that I will place their needs over mine, and their wants over mine, and do anything to avoid them leaving me, and anything to appease them.
and...that's pretty much a summary of what DPD is like for me.

Spoiler: and now, avpd

okay, similarly to how I did with DPD, gonna run through the AVPD symptoms. so:

• avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection
• is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked
• shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed
• is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations
• is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy
• views themself as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others
• is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing

and now, some description of what AVPD's like for me.
first off, as already discussed, I'm terrified of inconveniencing people. I'm scared that if I inconvenience them, they'll start hating me, or if I ask for something, they'll make fun of me, or if I inconvenience them in any way they'll disapprove of what I'm doing and that would be The End of The World(tm). I also feel I'm inferior to others, so what am I, a lowly creature that is lesser than dirt, doing asking someone else, a wonderful and beautiful god, for a glass of water? this is a slight exaggeration, but basically I feel like I'm completely undeserving of anything ever and feel like anything I ask for, I don't deserve. I don't deserve nice things, I don't deserve to get presents, I don't deserve happiness, I don't even deserve a measly glass of water, because I'm terrible and inferior to everyone else and a really awful person who doesn't deserve anything. additionally, I'm really scared that if I reveal things that are embarrassing or something, or even just reveal something like "oh I have a personality disorder," they'll ridicule or shame me, which is something I absolutely can't deal with, because being shamed or ridiculed means they don't like me and think that I'm not worthy of being their friend, and that means they don't like me and I need to leave, and it also means that I'm a bad person and I'm being rejected.
this brings me to my next point: rejection. people always go "well, what's the worst that could happen? they say no?" and my response to this is generally "YES, WHAT IF THEY SAY NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, THAT WOULD BE SO BAD" because in my mind, being rejected is the Literal Worst Thing(tm). it means they don't like me, don't want me around, hate me, and wish I had never asked for the thing because I've inconvenienced them so badly that now they never want to see me again. naturally, this is an exaggeration, but that's how it feels. rejection is the Worst Possible Thing and The Literal End of My Life. I'm utterly terrified by the idea of being rejected, and second to this is my fear of being disliked or criticized, because that's basically rejection with a side order of 'and I hate you, so here are all your flaws'. I try to ask for criticism sometimes and it still feels like it means the person hates me personally, and is rejecting me. I can't really explain why I feel these things are the end of the world, but I feel that way about them.
I also avoid social situations and anything involving other people like my life depends on it. part of this is because of my STPD, but part of it is because I'm terrified of being rejected or ridiculed. growing up, I hated group projects, not because I'd get stuck doing all the work (which I didn't mind, because I was the smartest kid in my class and I damn well knew it, so yes, please, let me do all the work and suck up to the teacher so I can get a good grade), but because I was utterly terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing and getting laughed at by my peers, or left out because I did something stupid. as a result, I ended up being left out anyway, because I was extremely antisocial, rarely talked, and never seemed to want to do anything but read, which led to kids thinking I was weird and disliking me anyway, which made me feel terrible. I wanted friends, but I had no idea how to go about making them, partly because everyone and everything they did seemed so alien to me, and partly because I was terrified of being laughed at and had no idea how to properly communicate with them, so of course the easiest thing to do was to just not communicate with them at all. this continues into my adult life; I never go to parties, not even family ones, and if I have to go somewhere, I make sure it's with people I know who are safe, and if they don't go then neither do I. new places and new people utterly terrify me, because what if I slip up and say something wrong and they laugh at me? I also make a habit of avoiding anything that involves working with other people; the job I want is one that allows me to work in complete solitude.
finally, I have super low self esteem in social situations. I feel completely socially inept and shy and think that no matter what I do, I'm bound to fail socially. I hate engaging in new events because I'm terrified I'll look like a fool, and I feel like new social situations in particular make me look bad because I'm just that socially inept and never know what to say. some of this is true; I am not the best socially, thanks to STPD and autism. at the same time, I do have some social skills, and I do know what to say some of the time, but my AVPD makes me feel like that's completely untrue and I don't know how to do social things at all. I also have a tendency to view myself as an unappealing person with an unappealing personality; I can't understand why anyone would like me or want to be around me anyway, so in my mind, they won't want to be around me, so why should I bother with trying? at the same time, I think that anyone who claims to want to be around me must be lying and have ulterior motives. these ulterior motives are usually paranoid ideas fueled by my STPD, but the initial 'they're lying' comes from my AVPD. I can't fathom anyone wanting to be around me, so I assume that they can't possibly be telling the truth.
and that's my experience of AVPD.

hope this helps some!

 

a quote from another thread, but

that's considered bad enough to be A Problem?

not meaning to invalidate, I just. uh. wow. I need to recalibrate my brain a bit, I guess. because yeah, that.

 

if you legitimately cannot bring yourself to ask for a glass of water because you're afraid of inconveniencing the person, yes, that is considered bad enough to be A Problem.

 

I was going to reply 'but how could that be a problem, I am inconveniencing people, trying to minimise that is good' and then I realised that that was silly and now I'm just sitting here laughing at myself. >_>

 

I feel your initial reaction
the first time it was brought up that that was an issue I was like "what?? no! how could it be?!"

 

okay, first of all, thank you so much for this reply! this is, like, way more than I was expecting. wow. I really appreciate the effort you've put into this. also it is super helpful. Kintsugi and the people here are so great!

okay, so I'm curious about this one in particular—why did you say it sounds so AVPD? like, the rest you were just like, "this sounds like AVPD," but this one got a "definitely." what's the difference?

that aligns with my suspicions, but I'm glad to get your opinion on it.

Spoiler: DPD stuff because it is really really long

okay, so I don't really have this? I have a tendency to defer to other people when doing things like picking out what restaurant we'd like to eat at, but I suspect that's motivated more by a desire to keep them happy than by difficulty making decisions. also my mom and grandmother both do it a lot too, and I really don't think either of them has a PD. I value the opinions of people I care about or see as authorities, but I'm capable of doing things without outside input.

well, I'm still in high school, so I don't have that many adult responsibilities to avoid, but it is a boarding high school, and I do just fine with the increased independence because of that. also I really hate feeling passive or helpless.

yup!!!! I haven't, like. actually been in a relationship, but you can read about my recent friend-breakup here, and I think you'll agree that that displays fear of abandonment, devastation, and helplessness in spades. (actually just generally if you want to get a better idea of the things in me I consider disordered, you should probably read that thread.) although I don't think I'd want to move into a new relationship right away, like, at all.

hhahahahhaaha. yes. except I don't necessarily think I can't care for myself? I'm just pretty bad at it, empirically speaking.

I just. really don't like conflict. disagreeing with somebody in like an academic setting is fine—I actually do it a lot—but when disagreement goes beyond pointing out flaws in someone's argument, I tend to back the hell off. I'm not sure what I'm scared of, exactly, but.

I've got executive dysfunction out the wazoo, so it's hard to tell why I have trouble starting things, exactly, but. yeah.

I'm quite introverted and also probably autistic, so actually I really don't mind being alone. I don't tend to seek out random social interaction. but I do very much crave the company and/or contact with people I value, and when I'm lonely, I'm lonely.

as far as I'm aware I've never been abused, so idk. I'm certainly willing to put unhealthy amounts of myself into helping people, though.

almost everybody's needs come before my own, not just caregivers'.

??? idk man

your troubles with decisions definitely sound more severe than my own.

I don't think that on a personality level I'm bad at independence; it's just that given my mental illnesses, etc. I am sometimes very shitty at taking care of myself. most of my anxiety around responsibilities or things like going to the store by myself is either because I don't want to fail people or because of my general social anxiety and dislike of change.

I don't think I do this, like, at all. I've been told I act mature for my age pretty regularly. I mean, how old do I read? because the way I interact online is more or less the way I interact in person.

this is very true, but I'd say my doubts about my competence are just general "oh you suck," not like "oh you need other people," if that makes any sense.

I don't enjoy disagreement, as I've said already, and I have more or less this exact thought process with regards to criticism; I totally blow it out of proportion and feel it like a personal attack. although academic criticism is okay, and I tend to think a lot of criticism is, like... justified? like, low self-esteem, so I immediately blame myself for whatever it is.

again, I don't know if I'd be willing to take abuse, but I do think I fear abandonment more than most people do, even when I have no reason.

nope! I get moods like this, but definitely not all the time.

oh, yeah. hella.

I actually quite like giving advice and help.

hmm. I definitely do put other people before myself, but I think that's more a function of me thinking of myself as worthless and possibly of what I've been informed is an excess of empathy than it is of not wanting to drive them away.

Spoiler: AVPD, also so long oh my god

yep! although I think my fears of these things are secondary to a) my fear of transgressing social boundaries and b) my aversion just to the sensory input involved in being around a lot of people.

I certainly worry a lot about whether people like me, and oftentimes I catastrophize and think they don't when they actually do.

eh. not really? I tend to dump my shit on people at the slightest provocation. but also worry about doing so. what the hell, me.

THESE.

I don't know if I avoid new activities because of embarrassment, necessarily? because I also just don't like change. but I do actually push myself to do new things sometimes; it just takes a lot of energy.

are you me? this is me. you even have my typing quirk.

I'm not especially afraid of shame and ridicule? I just. don't want people to dislike me. but as mentioned earlier I'm not super reluctant to disclose things about myself.

see again that thread. hot damn.

100% yup.

again, I don't know about ridicule, but I don't want people to dislike me, and I avoid social situations because of that. actually I'm not really sure what I'm afraid will happen when I Fuck Up dealing with people; I just know I don't want it to happen.

I straight up just bossed everyone around in group projects, ngl. I wasn't especially afraid of them. like I've said before, interactions on an academic level more or less don't make me anxious at all, for whatever reason.

this totally happened to me. for a while I didn't care, 'cause reading is awesome, but then suddenly I really did start caring. I didn't mean to seem snobby! shrug.

yes exactly.

again, me, minus the STPD. are we long-lost siblings separated at birth???

oh yeah. well, not the ulterior motives, I just assume they're obeying social niceties or a sense of obligation. but seriously, why do people like me??? I don't like me. and at the same time I crave approval. fun times!!!

so I'd really appreciate it if you could look at this and tell me based on my responses if you still think I have AVPD and/or DPD. also if you have any input on, like... what causes personality disorders? like, I know that abuse can be and is often a cause, but as far as I know I've never been abused, so what's up with that? did I just spontaneously develop a fucked-up personality?

 

hey @chaoticArbiter not to be obnoxious or anything and you absolutely don't have to reply if you don't have the spoons or whatever, but I figured that your life has been pretty busy these last couple days (with your different alters fronting, etc.) and you might've, well, forgotten about this thread. I'd still very much appreciate your reactions to my last post!

 

hey so I totally and completely meant to answer you but forgot about this so!! hang on and here goes.
why I said 'definitely' to that one thing: AVPD is avoidant personality disorder, and when we get anxious, we not only avoid, we catastrophize so as to build on that avoidance. I know that regular anxiety can lend itself to that, but I don't know anyone who can catastrophize like me when I'm trying to avoid a thing, and it sounds like that fits you, which is why I said 'definitely'.
DPD: not thinking you have it, since the core is pretty much 'can't make decisions on their own'. mine's actually getting better! soon I might not even classify as DPD anymore :D
as for AVPD: you definitely sound like you have it.
now, for what causes different personality disorders....well, it's true that for some abuse is often a cause, but for some...we just don't know what causes them! AVPD is one of those latter ones.

 

Hey, I have a question and I guess I'm putting it in that thread because I don't know where else to put it:
I seem to score pretty high for STPD traits (there are two result screenshots, I'm explaining it in the description). But the thing is, I'm already diagnosed with autism and had previously self-diagnosed with (mostly pure-O) OCD because it seemed to fit. Can these two disorders explain the STPD symptoms? Or maybe I was wrong about OCD? I'm really not sure.

 

hmmmm.
so...I've never considered those tests to be the most accurate thing ever. for instance, they always tell me that I have SZPD, which I don't have. with that said....every other one it's ever placed me under has been accurate, so. as far as autism and OCD combined explaining STPD...maybe? could you run through the symptoms you experience, and I'll then try and match them up to STPD vs. autism + OCD?

 

I took the test as a way to get an idea of what I should look up in more detail, mostly.

I guess I'll just run through a list of symptoms, yeah:
Ideas of reference: That's the "everything that happens is a sign" thing, right? Yeah, I get that a lot.
Odd beliefs and magical thinking: I definitely have magic powers and am pretty sure I can predict the future sometimes. So I guess that's a yes. But I feel like this could be explained by intrusive thoughts. Ideas of reference as well, probably.
Unusual perceptual experiences, including body illusions: I always thought that was just autism and dissociation from BPD.
Odd thinking and speech: Maybe autism as well.
Suspiciousness or paranoid ideation: Yup. But possibly OCD? The thing is, I don't have professionally diagnosed OCD, and I might, in a shocking plot twist, attribute STPD traits to OCD. I dunno, sometimes I genuinely believe people are trying to kill me in a not-an-intrusive-thought way.
Inappropriate or constricted affect: Not sure what this means exactly. But from the way it sounds, could be autism?
Behavior or appearance that is odd, eccentric, or peculiar: Again, I'm autistic.
Lack of close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives: I actually don't trust my family at all. I don't have many friends, all of them are online, but I trust them. My lack of social interaction is also probably from autism.
Social anxiety that doesn't diminish with familiarity and is associated with paranoid fears: I get both social anxiety from paranoia and self-worth issues. But this could also, again, probably be autism and/or OCD.