ive been dating my current girlfriend for over a year and a half now. most of the time she is very pleasant, loving, and supportive, but she has a tendency of not focusing on schoolwork. she's also depressed and on meds for it and will have episodes where she cannot be consoled. I used to be able to go on and on about how amazing she is, but I find myself at a loss for words now. I'm fed up with her even though I know she can't help it, hell, I was clinically depressed for a while. I still love her and we have our great days, but I'm not sure if this relationship is good for me anymore. She needs me, but I don't really need her. I want to be with her, but if push comes to shove I can leave. What do?
Honestly this sounds like one of those times when you already know what you want the answer to be, so im going to tell you both 'no' and 'yes' and suggest you think about how you feel reading both answers. No, you should stay with her. Every relationship has times when you dont feel super amazed by your partner, especially if they're dealing with health stuff, and part of long term relationships is standing by someone when that happens. And anyway 'needing' someone is a shitty metric for whether you should stay with someone-wanting is sufficient. Yes you should break up. You'r 'fed up' with her and 'not sure this relationship is good' and that sounds like you arent enjoying being with her and dont want to be anymore. You dont need any excuses--she could look like beyonce and act like ghandi and if you dont want to stay with her it wouldnt matter. You should break up.
You've asked the question. note: I am a 'shit's not working? nuke that shit from orbit' person, so ymmv. But my advice is: now. You can stay, but you're not supposed to be your partner's nurse. So, if you're saying she needs you, then something is wrong already. Healthy relationships should generally be based on mutual want, rather than need. In a need-based relationship at least one or both of the people involved cannot even be honest, because they will be fearing the loss of what they need. If you need more advice or just some barefaced support re: leaving, feel free to PM me.
Wow this thread is dead lmao just thought i'd let you both know that I decided to stay with my gf. we managed to work things out and now we've been together for almost 3.5 years. she's finally seeing a shrink, so yay i guess
