I've noticed that a lot of people when encouraging others about in the world or how much they mean make comments that sound like references to a wonderful life. "The world would be worse if you weren't in it" gets said a lot and I know most people probably mean "don't kill yourself people would miss you". But well not everyone is George Bailey. Not everyone if an angel granted a wish to never be born would find their friends and family worse for them never being born. Hell some people aren't even Potter. The world wouldn't be nicer either if they'd never been born. So, I don't know -- maybe this has a lot to do with how society views people has having worse. Or maybe we should be using more 'for want of a nail' when people are thinking they don't matter.
Your point is absolutely valid. Some people don't have clear-cut achievements or relationships that prove that they make the world a better place, and even if they do, depression prevents them from seeing them. I interpret 'the world would be worse if you weren't in it' a lot differently though. I don't mean 'you changed big shit', I mean 'the small shit you did matters'. I am personally hyper-grateful for every small good deed anyone ever did for me, especially because inconsequential good deeds help me drag my sorry ass out of depression. So the dude who helped me use the library copier or the girl who chatted to me at the ice cream shop all contributed to saving my life, because they added a little goodness to a day when I could have given up. Therefore they are heroic and magical and they matter.
yeah there's a reason why i can't watch the movie "it's a wonderful life" with my dad and brother every christmas. and why i hate anti-suicide posts on tumblr. a lot of it feels like empty platitudes. don't really know what else to say but that i totally get this feel. i'd help with alternative phrasing but my brain is in the bad place right now.
I guess I just keep coming back to the fact that when my father committed suicide, there was public mourning for him. There were news paper articles about how loved he was, how much good he'd gone, how missed he would be. Hundreds attended his memorial. There a public memorial marker for him in the public park near the lake he used to take me on walks. And I think, how many people would even notice I was gone? How long would it take for my family to talk about my death as a good thing, a relief? In five years who would even remember me other than some tiny "oh that's sad" when someone asks about the person that wrote such and such fic -- if anyone remembered outside a tiny tiny group of people that talk to me at all on friendly terms. I'm not going to kill myself. It just hurts.
Well, I can tell you this - one single person, or one tiny group of people, who think of you as a friend isn't nothing. One single person who would genuinely find it sad if you died - that counts. That you managed to make an impression on someone during your time on Earth even though you were in pain and struggling so much - that's rare and precious on its own. If there is one person who would miss you even a little bit, that means you got to touch their hearts - even from far away, like you touched mine. And isn't that pretty magical and strange, when you really think about it? Edit: sorry if I sound very corny, but I just have Pretty Strong Opinions re: the inherent worth of a human life
