Reasons My Kintsugijin is Crying, or; The Weepy Marshmallow Brigade

One of my friends died yesterday. Heart thing. H wasn't in great health for the last few years. He's a larping friend. It's just starting to hit that I'm never going to see him again.

I'm running an event today. Two people he fielded with regularly are going to be there. Another two people who he was close to were planning to come, but I don't know if they will now.

I genuinely don't know how this event is going to go. I have almost everything I need already set up for it. Almost no one at my park had ever met the guy. Shit, man. I'm still kind of in shock.

 

I'm just barely (two counties) outside the emergence range for brood x :( I want screamy shellfriend summer

 

The end song of doctor horrible's sing-along blog always gets me. Im not gonna elaborate more because if you listen to it without watching the movie first you'll be heavily spoilered, but its the perfect wrapup and its heartbreaking

 

Yooo guess who's internship at a staffing service ended because i apparently cant multitask good enough or understand some people over the phone?

 

Apparently suicidally low mood swings during sugar withdrawal are normal. Hooray.

 

The manga "In Clothes Called Fat" and this review of it (eating disorder TW).

 

Oh man one of those natural disasters interviews with a survivor who finds their loved ones alive (yes, pets too) after the fact just slid into my YouTube recommends and I am nothing but a sobbing beanling

 

Which bitch cries at Centaurworld? This bitch cries at Centaurworld. Call me out, why don’t you, ya stupid emotional horse show.

 

*Starts hearing frustration tears in my head*

 

The trainer at the new gym is pushing me way harder than I'm comfortable with and I really miss the old gym.

 

That sucks! Have you told them that? A good personal trainer will adjust the exercises to you, not vice versa

 

I did, yeah. I just feel like he expects more.

 

That's a him problem not a you problem. If there are other personal trainers I'd advise checking them out instead tbh. My pt never makes me feel like i'm disappointing him and that's a big reason i've managed to make it nearly a year of regular gym going

 

It's not really a feeling that I'm disappointing this guy, just that he's way more enthusiastic about it than I expected and thinks I am too. Like it didn't seem to occur to him that I couldn't maintain an every-single-day gym schedule.

 

It's Who Is She (Reprise) that gets me

 

that's still kind of a problem! And something you're allowed to decide he's Not For You about.

 

It's been a good birthday except for the facts that it's hard to break the habit of arguing with annoying people online - I didn't do it but it's hard to get the obvious retorts out of my head - and conversation with my nan somehow turned to dead pets, which really isn't what I want to talk about at any time. Now I can't not cry and I feel worse for crying on my birthday.

 

I think I have to go back on the antidepressant I came off a few weeks ago. My mood's been lousy and I hope the GP can put me back on the stuff before it gets worse.

 

This post. EVERYONE LOVES THE PETS THEY NEVER EVEN MET

 

This is probably too much but uh. Yeah.

So I worked my usual shift yesterday at the library, and an hour before I was done I started to feel very sick. Likely the pasta I had for lunch was bad, it was older than I thought. I had to leave and I felt so genuinely guilty and sad because I wasn't done reshelving the books, and I tried so hard to finish my shift but the constant bending over on the lower shelves was killing me. I thought I'd pass out at one point. So yeah, completely reasonable to ask off early and they were very supportive and understanding. I cried anyways. Dunno what's up with that